


you're the one (the apple of my eye)

by faexsolis



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, RIAAAA BBY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY I HOPE U LIKE THIS, i'm sorry i did ryujin so dirty in this fic, jiwoo needs a fake date for chuseok, jungeun is kind of the token drunk, thank goodness her gal pal sooyoung is there for her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 38,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28329234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faexsolis/pseuds/faexsolis
Summary: All Jiwoo wanted was to get closer to Sooyoung.This,however, she did not sign up for.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye, the barest hint of viseul + choerry/yeojin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 248





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hyvckworld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyvckworld/gifts).



It all begins, Jiwoo likes to think, with Pod L. 

Twelve radically differing personalities, an eclectic smorgasbord of skills and interests. Somehow able to work perfectly in tandem to produce objectively gorgeous articles. A clique of sorts - affectionately nicknamed LOONA, an allusion to the ethereal Roman goddess of the moon - they are all members of the cluster of cubicles on the fifth floor of BBC News, their secret to success remaining a mystery to all.

But Kim Jiwoo knows better. A member herself, she’s seen their interactions up close - from the way members Jungeun and Jinsoul can snap from explosive bouts of anger to passionately sucking face in a matter of seconds, to the way team leader Jo Haseul’s facade of utmost control is refuted by her wild morning hair and her hellscape of a desk - and she can certainly attest to the fact that they’re far from ethereal beings enshrouded in mystery.

(Okay, the morning hair was _once,_ and the desk isn’t really _that_ messy, but Jiwoo has always had a bit of a flair for the dramatics. And she _has_ seen Jungeun and Jinsoul making out. She promises.)

In any case, Kim Jiwoo _knows_ these people, like the back of her hand. She’s gotten up close and personal with almost every member - the customary group sleepover is a thriving initiation tradition, thank you very much - and other than their newest addition, she knows them. In and out.

(It’s true that not all of the members of their group are that tightly-knit; Jiwoo sees it in the way that fellow photographers Park Chaewon and Son Hyejoo start to drift from the group after officially declaring their relationship status, the way the writing squad - comprised of members Jeon Heejin, Kim Hyunjin, Wong Kahei, and, of course, team leader Jo Haseul - start meeting up without the rest of them. In the way that Choi Yerim and Im Yeojin, the team’s resident interns, sneak surreptitious glances at each other when they think nobody’s watching.

But Jiwoo always is.)

The only member Jiwoo hasn’t officially gotten all buddy-buddy with yet is Ha Sooyoung. Gorgeous, brooding, stylish Ha Sooyoung, her literal cubicle neighbor, and the source of literally all of her outlandish girlfriend fantasies. Yeah, _that_ Ha Sooyoung.

Jiwoo has always felt intimidated by the girl’s brooding presence, despite having taken one look at those swirling sepia-toned eyes and fallen straight (or rather, _gay_ ) in love. 

Maybe it’s the way that Sooyoung had only returned her welcome card with a small upturn of the lips and quick muttered _thanks,_ or maybe it’s the way that Sooyoung keeps to herself, never attending their mandatory team dinners. But in any case, Jiwoo just doesn’t seem to click with the girl like she does with the rest of the team.

And that’s why she tries twice as hard. 

Through the grapevine, she hears that Sooyoung is a huge apple enthusiast - why, Jiwoo will never know, but does she question it? Absolutely not - and takes it upon herself to unleash her baking potential. 

Jiwoo honest-to-goodness makes a special trip to her mother’s place in Cheongju, picking up a few cookbooks and recipes to try out for Sooyoung, before setting aside a couple hours to bake twelve perfectly golden-brown mini apple strudels. And when Jiwoo arranges them all in that cute wicker basket she got at that one kitschy thrift store downtown to present to Sooyoung the next day, she feels an immensely sense of self-satisfaction. She can’t wait to waltz into work tomorrow to be assaulted by Sooyoung’s praise of her impeccable baking skills.

But to her absolute horror, Jiwoo walks into the break room during lunch the next day to see literally every one of the Pod L personnel munching away at one of her strudels, with Sooyoung holding an empty basket. Confusion and betrayal swirl up in the pit of Jiwoo’s stomach, and she flees to the bathroom, nearly in tears. Jiwoo had baked those pastries - had poured her love into them - for Sooyoung, as a welcome gift _._ Not the entire fifth floor. _Sooyoung._

Jiwoo has no idea why Sooyoung would give those pastries to the other members. Maybe Jiwoo had heard wrong, and Sooyoung is really allergic to apples or something.

(Jiwoo hopes that’s the case, because if it isn’t, she’s not sure that she and Sooyoung are going to get along very well.)

As Jiwoo approaches her cubicle at the end of lunch, she sees that wicker basket - with the gingham cloth folded nicely and everything - sitting on her desk, with a small folded note inside. Smiling to herself, she thinks that this must be it. Sooyoung’s praise for her work must be right here.

Instead, inscribed on the slip of paper are the messily-scribbled words _thank you_ , as succinct and fleeting as the girl herself, and Jiwoo lets out an affronted gasp. Sooyoung hadn’t even the basic decency to write out a proper thank-you note? Jiwoo doesn’t think she’s going to get along with the girl at all.

Sighing to herself, she sweeps the basket off her desk, and slams her head onto the table.

-

Jiwoo quickly learns that even though _she_ may not be close to Sooyoung, others certainly are. 

So she finds herself here: staring daggers at Sooyoung laughing with Jinsoul and Jungeun at lunch, passively-aggressively spearing lettuce leaves with a plastic fork. She normally loves salad, but all she can taste now is Sooyoung’s treachery.

(And honey mustard. But she hates honey mustard, so that isn’t helping either.)

It’s so unfair, Jiwoo thinks, that Sooyoung evades all of her friendly gestures. It’s not playing by the rules - Sooyoung is supposed to warm up to Jiwoo right away, to fall for her bubbly personality and adorable smiles like everyone else had, not dismiss her with those infuriating smirks of hers.

Jiwoo wants to slam her head into a wall.

A wall, that’s what it is, she thinks. Sooyoung is like a brick wall. Unresponsive, and frankly quite rude, if Jiwoo says so herself.

“You’re going to laser twin holes through her if you stare any harder,” a mirthful voice calls from behind her, snapping Jiwoo out of her reverie.

Jiwoo swivels around in her chair, pouting at the girl. “Not my fault, Hyejoo,” she says offhandedly, allowing her body to slacken. “She just refuses to get close to me.”

“Give her time,” Hyejoo assures her. “She’ll warm up to you, you’ll see.”

Jiwoo heaves a dramatic sigh. “I hope so.”

Hyejoo only smiles tightly in response, before starting at her mountain at work.

Jiwoo isn’t convinced.

-

The next time Jiwoo encounters Sooyoung is on a harsh Monday morning, the late September chill wearing deep into Jiwoo’s bones as an icy downpour pounds against the pavements with all the force of a glacial avalanche. Jiwoo pulls her jacket tighter around her as she huddles against the autumn cold, careful not to touch the freezing window panes of the subway.

It’s days like these that Jiwoo so desperately craves her daily peppermint hot chocolate, complete with oodles of whipped cream and a dash of nutmeg, piping hot with steam curling up to the sky as the barista hands it to her. Jiwoo always arrives at her favorite coffee shop at least an hour early so as to get her morning journaling in as she sips at her drink before heading off to work, and today is no different.

The coffee shop is barren, save for a few sparsely scattered students and interns here and there, and Jiwoo places her order with an infectious smile before making her way over to a table near the windows. The faint glow of the sunrise brings a smile to her face as she pulls out her journal and art supplies.

Twisting in her earphones, Jiwoo turns on a random J-Pop playlist and uncaps a pen, titling the date at the top of the page in a neat cursive before immersing herself in the music and allowing herself to lose touch with reality.

“Peppermint hot chocolate, extra whipped cream, dash of nutmeg, and a cinnamon stick?”

The announcement tears Jiwoo out of her reverie as she rips her earphones out, bounding to the counter to grab her drink.

“That’s me,” she says, dipping her head apologetically. “Sorry about that, I had my earphones in.”

The barista - whose name tag reads _Kim Chungha_ \- smiles brightly at her, her eyes curving in delight, as she shakes her head. “It’s no problem, really…” She looks down at the cup. “Sooyoung?”

“That’s me,” a voice calls from behind Jiwoo. Whirling around, Jiwoo finds the bane of her existence - tall, dark, and maddeningly gorgeous Ha Sooyoung, her hair tucked under a soft gray beanie and her lips curled into an overly saccharine smile.

Chungha looks between Jiwoo and Sooyoung, at the cup, then back at the pair. “Wait, so which one of you is Sooyoung?”

“Me,” Sooyoung steps forward. “I’m Ha Sooyoung? I ordered a peppermint hot chocolate with extra whip, a dash of nutmeg, and a cinnamon stick?”

Chungha furrows her eyebrows at the order. “That’s right, but…” she trails off, her eyes flicking to Jiwoo. “What about you?”

Jiwoo scratches her head in confusion. “But that’s my order?”

Sooyoung glances over at Jiwoo, her dark eyes glittering with amusement. “We must have ordered the same thing, Jiwoo.”

Heat immediately rises to Jiwoo’s cheeks as she steps back. “Oh, I’m sorry about that. You should take your order.”

“No problem.” Sooyoung offers her a gentle curve of the lips in return, and Jiwoo’s heart does _not_ do a tap dance in her chest. No, it doesn’t, because she’s _angry_ \- how could Sooyoung have the same order as her? Her order is painfully specific - it seems impossible for anyone to recreate it, even by chance.

“I’ll make yours next,” Chungha addresses Jiwoo, waving Sooyoung off. “It might take a little bit, though.”

Jiwoo flashes the barista a quick smile. “No problem, I’ll be waiting over there.”

Chungha nods in acknowledgement, and Jiwoo makes her way back to her journal, her heart rate having yet to slow. She’s irked, yes - checking the time, Jiwoo barely has thirty minutes before she has to be through the frosted glass doors of BBC News, which means that she should take off in the next fifteen minutes or so - and no thanks to Sooyoung’s interference with her order, there’s no way Jiwoo would be able to make it in time _and_ finish her spread.

Speaking of whom, actually, when had Sooyoung walked into the cafe? Jiwoo supposes she must have been too immersed in her own devices, yet she feels an odd sense of dissatisfaction nagging at her subconscious - one that she conveniently ignores.

Sighing, Jiwoo scribbles in a quick journal entry, keeping a keen eye on the time as she waits for the barista to prepare her specialty drink. 

Five, ten minutes pass, and Jiwoo is getting nervous - but not nervous enough to inquire about her drink.

But as another five pass, Jiwoo quickly realizes that there’s no way she can make it to work on time if she doesn’t collect her drink now, so she shoves her art supplies haphazardly into her bag and rushes to the counter. Chungha is nowhere to be seen.

“Excuse me?” Jiwoo calls out, slightly concerned. “Chungha?”

Chungha comes running out from the back - Jiwoo assumes it must be storage - with her eyebrows furrowed and expression frazzled, and Jiwoo feels a sense of dread settle in her stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Chungha stresses, remorse evident on her face. “I think we might have run out of milk? I swear I had a couple extra cartons in the back, but I can’t find any, and-”

“It’s okay,” Jiwoo reassures her, plastering a bright smile on her face to hopefully mask the disappointment coursing through her. “I think I’ll be off, but I appreciate it.”

“No, I feel bad,” Chungha insists. “At let me give you a cake pop for your trouble?”

Jiwoo glances at the watch on her wrist, then back up at Chungha, shooting her an apologetic smile before declining her offer. Jiwoo is embarrassingly late as it is, she can’t afford to remain in the cafe for any longer.

By the time Jiwoo pushes through those embossed doors precisely five minutes and three seconds late, with no sugar to fuel her bubbly energy and a disappointed Haseul peering at her over her horn-rimmed glasses, Jiwoo has decided that this day is not going well.

And naturally, as the rest of the day continues to be as catastrophic as the morning, Jiwoo does the only thing she can. 

She blames everything on Sooyoung.

-

“Mom, I’m not going to go out with Shin Ryujin, she’s like, _fourteen_ ,” Jiwoo laments, fighting the urge to put her head in her hands and scream. “And besides, she’s one of those weird kids who used to eat dirt during recess. You can’t just try to find any random sapphic girl and try to shove us together, it literally doesn’t work like that.”

“Ryujin is twenty-one,” Jiwoo’s mother says patiently. “And she’s matured quite a bit in the last couple years. I’m sure you’d change your mind if you just saw her.”

“I’m almost twenty-five! She’s literally a child.”

“She’s _not-_ ”

“And anyways, that _still_ doesn’t negate the dirt-eating,” Jiwoo plows forward, cutting her mother off. “Find a way to talk yourself out of the dirt-eating. I dare you.”

Jiwoo’s mother heaves a sigh. “Jiwoo, please, she’s a very nice girl. I’m sure you would come to love her.”

“You didn’t,” Jiwoo groans. “Please don’t tell me you set us up on a blind date.”

“Well,” Jiwoo’s mother pauses, “I may have, uh, talked to Mrs. Shin about it, but nothing’s set in stone.”

“Would you _please_ leave me and my love life alone?” Jiwoo stresses, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m nearly twenty-five, I’m sure I can handle myself just fine.”

“Then find a girlfriend, and bring her over for Chuseok,” Jiwoo’s mother says plainly. “You’re nearly twenty-five, and you have yet to be in a solid relationship. If you can prove to me that you can find yourself a nice girlfriend, then I’ll back off, okay?”

“Fine,” Jiwoo huffs. “I’ll get a girlfriend - and bring her home for Chuseok, I guess - if that’s what you want me to do. As long as you get off my back.”

“There’s no need to be rude,” Jiwoo’s mother sniffs. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t want you to become an old cat lady is all.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Jiwoo spits out snarkily, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You’re most welcome,” Jiwoo’s mother says primly. “Now, I’ve got another wedding to plan, so I best be off.”

“Okay, bye,” Jiwoo sighs, cutting the call. Tossing her phone offhandedly onto her desk, she flops onto her bed, starfishing her limbs out as she stares blankly at the ceiling. 

Jiwoo has absolutely no idea what she’s signed herself up for, but if there’s anything she knows, it’s that this is going to be a mess of epic proportions.

-

Jiwoo tries to stay civil around Sooyoung, she really does. She’s a good person, she promises - and she really does love people! - but it becomes increasingly difficult when the girl starts popping up _everywhere_ she goes. From the coffee shop she frequents on a daily basis to get her hot chocolate fix to the art store next door - _Jiwoo’s_ art store, the one she has a special connection with because it’s where she buys all of her cute stationery items - Sooyoung always finds a way to make an appearance, and Jiwoo is sick of it.

Jiwoo can handle a lot, okay - she doesn’t care that Sooyoung initially ignored her and opted to spend time with her other friends, and she even turns a cold shoulder to the fact that she runs into the girl nearly every day on her coffee runs to the point where she has Sooyoung’s order memorized. 

(And no, it’s not because they seem to have the exact same order _every single day_.)

But Jiwoo cannot and _will_ not tolerate Sooyoung messing with her washi tapes. Anything _but_ the washi tapes.

Jiwoo shoots Sooyoung a dirty glare from across the washi tape aisle, browsing through some cute Kakao character-patterned tapes while simultaneously sending Hyejoo a litany of passive-aggressive texts about it.

**jiwoo**

i think shes actually following me omg

shes in the sticker section !! 

thats basically almost where i am

can u believe the audacity

**hyejoo**

or maybe she just

idk

likes stickers

????

**jiwoo**

HYEJOO COME ON

shes clearly trying to be me

**hyejoo**

bro

the girl is what

buying stickers???

why does that mean shes trying to be u like make it make sense

**jiwoo**

SHES IN THE WASHI TAPE AISLE NOW

AND THIS ISNT EVEN HER FIRST OFFENSE

i feel like she actually follows me everywhere i go

bc like,,, we get the same coffee order

literally every day ??

explain that one

**hyejoo**

sorry to break it to u

but i think u have an overactive imagination

also tf are u on u have the same order every day

ha sooyoung does not want to be u of all ppl

**jiwoo**

HEY

THATS MEAN

but fr its a little confusing like why

**hyejoo**

jiwoo

i dont wanna burst ur metaphorical bubble or whatever

but like,,,

i think u need to let it go ok

i understand that u have beef w sooyoung or whatever

but its getting a little out of hand here

**jiwoo**

i’m being serious tho :((

but ok fine

if u rlly feel like its getting that out of hand it probably is

i mean look at u

**hyejoo**

whats THAT supposed to mean

**jiwoo**

HAHA JK PLS DONT KILL ME

**hyejoo**

youd better watch ur mouth

or else someone's favorite penguin plushie might mysteriously get destroyed

**jiwoo**

HAHA

IM KIDDING

PLS DON'T HURT MY PENGUINS

**hyejoo**

that is a joke for legal reasons only

but fr tho u gotta drop it

promise me that u will

**jiwoo**

haha,,,

ok fine ig ill drop it if u rlly feel that strongly abt it

**hyejoo**

ok good

u better keep that promise or the penguin gets it

**jiwoo**

NO NOT THE PENGUIN

ILL KEEP MY PROMISE 

JUST DONT TOUCH THE PENGUINS

**hyejoo**

good

lmao that was a joke too ??

legal purposes ;)

**jiwoo**

:((

Jiwoo closes her phone, casting a suspicious glance around her. Sooyoung is nowhere to be found, much to Jiwoo's chagrin, and she releases a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

Maybe Hyejoo was right, Jiwoo thinks. Maybe it was all one astronomical coincidence.

Her mind made up, Jiwoo grabs a couple Apeach washi tapes before heading over to the cash register. She may detest Sooyoung, but she'll keep it professional.

After all, she _is_ Kim Jiwoo, and Kim Jiwoo _never_ quits.

-

“Why the hell is _she_ here?” Jiwoo whispers aggressively at Yerim, elbowing the poor girl in the ribs. Yerim’s doe eyes flick over to the subject of Jiwoo’s aggression - Ha Sooyoung - and she simply shrugs noncommittally, turning to Yeojin on her other side. Jiwoo sighs, shooting a final withering glance at Sooyoung before grabbing at the samgyeopsal on the grill.

Maybe she _will_ quit, after all.

Shoving a piece of meat in her mouth, Jiwoo observes Sooyoung - who, contrary to their previous interactions, is sandwiched between Jungeun and Jinsoul, and appears to be in a much more reserved state, only smiling prettily when addressed and taking elegant sips of her beer in between bites of samgyeopsal.

(Jiwoo wonders if it’s even possible to look elegant while seated in a cheap pub in downtown Itaewon, surrounded by the bustle of tourists and drunkards alike, yet Sooyoung accomplishes it effortlessly. Jiwoo would almost be jealous - except for the fact that Sooyoung infuriates her.)

“Jiwoo!” Jungeun slurs, her eyes glazed over and movements sloppy, effectively jerking Jiwoo out of her reverie. “Why’re you being all quiet and judgey?”

Heat rushes to Jiwoo’s cheeks as she startles, her lips parting in shame.

“What? No,” she rushes to clarify. “What are you even talking about?”

Jungeun grins. “Oh, I see,” she says, eyeing Sooyoung. “I get it.”

“Um,” Jiwoo cocks her head to the side, “I think you might need to lay off the beer, Jungeun.”

“Agreed,” Hyejoo chimes in from the other side of the table, and Jiwoo flashes her a quick smile of relief.

“I third that,” Jinsoul acknowledges, snatching the cup from Jungeun’s hand. “That’s enough for today.”

“But I wanted to get nice and trashed,” Jungeun whines, reaching for her cup. “Gimme the beer-”

“Looks like she already accomplished that,” Jiwoo teases, willing her blush to recede. Hyejoo snorts, knocking into Haseul, effectively spilling her drink into her lap. Haseul rises with a polished urgency, sopping up the spilled beer with a handful of napkins, and quietly excuses herself to the bathroom.

Jiwoo watches all of this with mild amusement reflected in her eyes and not-so-mild relief at the distraction from her slip-up. Her eyes flick over to Sooyoung, who appears to be quite unperturbed by the prior events, save for helping Jinsoul keep Jungeun’s cup away from her as Jungeun flails drunkenly for it. Jiwoo huffs, shoving another piece of samgyeopsal into her mouth in frustration, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Heejin.

“It’s really loud in here, isn’t it?” she clicks her tongue sympathetically. “Maybe we should head out?”

Jiwoo momentarily pauses her chewing, softening her gaze. “Yeah,” she admits. “I think Haseul’s about ready to go too, no thanks to Hyejoo over here.”

Heejin nods in affirmation, rousing a half-asleep Hyunjin on her other side. 

“We should head out,” she murmurs as Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open. “It’s getting pretty late.”

Hyunjin yawns, rubbing her eyes. “Yeah, probably. We’re ridesharing with Kahei today?”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo affirms. “Kahei, Chaewon, and Jinsoul are the designated drivers today. I think the interns are taking taxis, though.”

“Perfect,” Hyunjin shoots Jiwoo a look of gratitude. “I’ll round up the others, and we’ll get going.”

“Sounds good,” Jiwoo acknowledges. Draining the last of her beer, Jiwoo counts out everyone in her car - the girls had used three company cars to make it to the dinner, and they’d divided the group into three “districts” of sorts, in which the designated drivers would each take a district with the goal of getting home safely and having an easy ride to work the next day. It’s a system that works, a system that they’ve been using for months without fail, yet Sooyoung’s attendance to tonight’s team dinner has thrown a wrench in it.

It’s true that Sooyoung had arrived in Jiwoo’s car, but in reality, Jiwoo has no idea where Sooyoung lives. This presents itself as an issue when Jiwoo is trying to split up the groups, however, as she has no idea which car would be better for Sooyoung to travel in.

Jiwoo knows she has two options - one would be to simply cross over and ask the girl, and the other would be to awkwardly stand around and guess.

Jiwoo opts for the latter.

She sends the interns off, waving goodbye to Yerim and Yeojin as they go on their respective ways, and heads back inside the pub to round everyone else up.

The respective groups remain clumped together: Heejin, Hyunjin, and Haseul all flock around Kahei, as an exceedingly drunk Jungeun leans haphazardly against Jinsoul - who is usually tasked with driving the interns, but thankfully only has to deal with Jungeun today - and Hyejoo and Chaewon are, of course, glued at the hip as always. It’s only Sooyoung who stands off to the side, seemingly out of place.

Sooyoung’s eyes are glued to her phone, almost glazed over, as a sheen of sweat gleams her forehead, reflecting off the pub's dingy light fixtures. Her lipstick has long worn off, her hair unruly and her suit rumpled - no doubt a result of her tussle with Jungeun - but Jiwoo can't help but feel inexplicably drawn to her.

"Jiwoo, there you are," Chaewon exclaims upon noticing her entrance. "I was literally just looking for you."

"Sorry," Jiwoo admits sheepishly. "I just went to send the interns off."

"Well, good that you came back," Hyejoo deadpans. "We were literally about to leave without you."

"Hey," Jiwoo frowns, but Hyejoo pushes past her, beckoning to Sooyoung.

"Last call, we're heading off," Hyejoo calls out, effectively catching Sooyoung’s attention. "Pack it up, folks."

Sooyoung closes her phone, sending Hyejoo a quick smile of relief as she walks toward them.

"She's coming with us?" Jiwoo whispers to Chaewon.

"Duh," Chaewon announces with zero discretion. "She literally came here with us, she's obviously part of our district."

Jiwoo wants to facepalm. 

"Keep your voice down," she hisses, twisting her features into a passable smile as Sooyoung approaches. Chaewon opts to disregard her entirely, instead grabbing a disgruntled Hyejoo and bidding the rest of the team farewell.

Jiwoo silently trails after Chaewon and Hyejoo as they make their way to Chaewon's car. Sooyoung follows Jiwoo, her breath condensing into little clouds in the frigid mid-autumn air as they walk.

"Is it usually this long of a walk?" Sooyoung asks, shivering underneath her blazer.

There's an awkward pause as Jiwoo remains silent, and Sooyoung glances over at her expectantly.

"Oh, me?" Jiwoo questions, attempting to keep her passive-aggressiveness to a minimum. "Sorry, yeah, it's getting cold, right?"

Sooyoung nods, the beginnings of a smile teasing at the corners of her lips. "Yeah, it is."

"I don't think it's usually this cold? But that might be because of global warming or something," Jiwoo rambles. "Or, like, reverse global warming? Something like that."

"Sure," Sooyoung acknowledges with a small upturn of the lips, dipping her head. "Reverse global warming."

" _Hey_ ," Jiwoo's cheeks heat up. "It could be a possibility. People are doing things to save the environment."

"Whatever you say, Jiwoo," Sooyoung says, flashing her an amused smile, and _wow._ Jiwoo was not expecting to be blinded like that.

"Hey, watch out!" Sooyoung calls out, her smile dropping off her face, but it's too late. Jiwoo plows straight into Hyejoo, bringing both of them down, and needless to say, neither girl is happy.

"Dude," Hyejoo grunts, heaving herself up. "What's wrong with you?"

"Sorry." Jiwoo hangs her head, a guilty flush creeping up her neck. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

Hyejoo's eyes flick over to Sooyoung, then back down at Jiwoo, and offers her a hand. "Don't worry about it, I feel like we're all pretty drunk. Sooyoung, could you help her into the car?"

"Wait, _no-_ "

"Sure," Sooyoung readily agrees, extending her hand to Jiwoo.

Jiwoo stares helplessly at Hyejoo, frantically signaling to her telepathically that this is a terrible idea, but Hyejoo only gives her an exaggerated wink before turning her over to Sooyoung.

Jiwoo begrudgingly accepts Sooyoung’s hand, willing her blush to recede, as they both climb into the backseat of the car. Chaewon assumes her position as designated driver, and Hyejoo claims shotgun.

The drive is silent, almost excruciatingly so, as their car plods along in Seoul's Friday night traffic. Hyejoo has long fallen asleep, and Jiwoo herself is fighting the darkness edging at her vision.

Glancing over at Sooyoung, Jiwoo sees that she's nodded off as well. The girl's sleeping face is strangely angelic, Jiwoo observes. Sooyoung’s lips are slightly parted, little puffs of breath escaping them every few seconds, and she just looks so _small_ \- Jiwoo is suddenly possessed with the inexplicable desire to somehow protect her. 

Internally kicking herself for being creepy, Jiwoo tears her gaze away from Sooyoung. She hates the girl - she doesn't understand the sudden rush of warmth filling her chest.

Chalking it up to her level of inebriation, Jiwoo stares out into the streets of Seoul, her eyes drooping and her heart blooming.

-

“Okay, team!” Haseul commands. “How are we all doing on this lovely Monday morning?”

Haseul is met with pin-drop silence as the rest of the zombified team stares at her blankly.

“Okay, then,” Haseul mutters, her smile dampening slightly. “Anyways-”

“I’m doing great!” Yeojin pipes up, seemingly out of nowhere, and Hyejoo hushes her with a swift kick to the shin. Cheeks blooming with red, Yeojin dips her head, and a few members of the pod send her pitying glances before swiveling their gazes back to Haseul.

“Thank you, Yeojin,” Haseul says, not unkindly, before addressing the stack of folders in front of her. “New assignments today! Heejin, you’re covering the Jeong embezzlement scandal - and don’t forget to take either Chaewon or Hyejoo, whichever one comes more willingly.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Heejin accepts the folder, dragging Chaewon with her as they’re both dismissed.

“Hyunjin, you get the Ulsan massacres,” Haseul dictates, flipping through her clipboard. “Take…" She looks up, catching sight of Heejin grabbing Chaewon. "...Hyejoo with you to the police station for inquiry.”

“Will do,” Hyunjin acknowledges, and leaves the meeting room with a slightly miffed Hyejoo.

“Kahei, you can take the economic sector, and Jungeun, you and Jinsoul get technology and politics. Take the interns with you, show them how it’s done,” Haseul lists off, handing them each their respective folders. “And I get the editorial piece.”

“Excuse me,” Jiwoo pipes up, and Haseul looks up from her file. “Do I have anything?”

Haseul adjusts her glasses, looking through her clipboard. “Ah, yes, I almost forgot. Jiwoo, you’re with Sooyoung today - you’re doing our featured piece together. Comprehensive history of LGBTQ+ history in Korea through photos, courtesy of National Coming Out Day coming up next Friday.”

Blood rushes to Jiwoo’s face. “What?”

Haseul peers at Jiwoo over her glasses, frowning. “Did you not want this kind of a piece? I thought you’d be thrilled, especially since-”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Jiwoo rushes to clarify, her cheeks burning. “I just- never mind.”

“Good,” Haseul acknowledges. “Sooyoung, Jiwoo, you have approximately two weeks to complete your project. Good luck!”

Jiwoo exchanges a glance with Sooyoung, accepting their folder, and moves to work on it in her own cubicle before she's stopped - both literally and metaphorically.

"Hey," Sooyoung halts Jiwoo. "We gotta look at that together, right?"

Jiwoo shoots Sooyoung a dirty glare before pushing past her. This is a piece that Jiwoo has wanted _forever -_ and it's not one she's willing to share with stupid _Sooyoung,_ who has climbed their corporate ladder faster than that one girl who was caught sleeping with the VP.

(And Jiwoo isn't insinuating that Sooyoung is having an affair with the higher-ups, okay - she's just particularly irritated that the girl seems to have skipped the intern stage altogether, only following Jiwoo's instruction for a measly three months before being promoted to a full-time member of their team. Jiwoo is happy to have been such an effective mentor, but she hardly finds it fair that she's forced to partner with her literal student on a complex project that she's been after for months.)

Sooyoung sidles up to Jiwoo, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey-"

Jiwoo whirls around, a murderous expression on her face. "What the hell, Sooyoung."

Sooyoung steps back, regret written all over her face, as she bows in apology. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have startled you like that."

"Yeah," Jiwoo agrees, allowing her breathing to even out. "You shouldn't have."

"But we need to go over the file together," Sooyoung interjects. "Haseul literally just-"

"Oh, so you're suddenly on a first-name basis with the team leader?" Jiwoo cuts in snarkily. 

"What?" Sooyoung looks taken aback, almost hurt, by Jiwoo's words.

Jiwoo knows she's being meaner than she usually would be, but her sheer irritation at being forced to partner with Sooyoung is currently controlling her responses, not her sense of rationality.

"Since did you and Haseul become such good friends?" Jiwoo snaps, pettiness souring her features. "Is that why she's suddenly letting you work on this project with me all of a sudden instead of handing you off to Jungeun?

"What are you even talking ab-"

"She should have just left you with Jungeun," Jiwoo plows forward, cutting Sooyoung off. "This project requires the delicate hand of a professional."

And with that, Jiwoo whirls around and marches back to her cubicle, leaving behind a heartbroken Sooyoung and an irreparable relationship.

-

Jiwoo feels bad.

A terrible guilt wracks her, all of her harsh words coming back to her over and over again until she considers quitting her job, because what kind of professional is she anyway? Jiwoo literally stood there and chewed Sooyoung out, and for what? The girl literally did nothing.

And, Jiwoo realizes with a sickening start, she's going to have to work with the girl, no matter what her misgivings are with the whole project.

So she finds herself here: kicking herself internally as she stirs around her sugar and diced apples, waiting for them to caramelize perfectly. She's making Sooyoung one of her special deconstructed apple pies as a form of apology, neatly packaged in a jar adorned with lots of loopy writing and cute stickers. It's Jiwoo's go-to in terms of an apology bake, because of its comfort-food nature as well as its personalization, and Jiwoo hopes that it'll do the trick. 

(She really isn't sure how she's going to package her apology, but she knows she'll have to make it work. She and Sooyoung must work on this project together - it wouldn't be fair of Jiwoo to exclude Sooyoung when she's specifically been assigned to it alongside her.)

Jiwoo layers her pie carefully, ensuring maximum aesthetic value as she rotates the jar it's in. She decorates it with an abundance of _I'm sorry_ s and _please forgive me_ s, tying it all together with a cute ribbon she'd found lying around and a few sad Ryan stickers. 

She leaves it on Sooyoung's desk the next morning, guilt seeping into her demeanor as she waits for Sooyoung to discover the reconciliation gift.

It’s only until lunch that Jiwoo approaches Sooyoung, unable to stomach the anticipation any further. The pair is alone in the break room - given that Jiwoo shooed out the interns out a while ago, telling them to treat themselves to the coffee outside, rather than the weak kind in the break room - and the tension is nearly palpable.

Sooyoung evades Jiwoo’s scrutinizing gaze, busying herself with a stack of papers - at least, until Jiwoo speaks up.

“Hey,” she begins hesitantly, immediately regretting it once she sees Sooyoung’s cold gaze.

“Hello,” Sooyoung says curtly. “You called me?”

“That’s right,” Jiwoo nearly whispers, unsure if she wants to puke or cry. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Yesterday,” Jiwoo says, and Sooyoung’s face hardens. The girl rises, her eyes fixed on the door, and Jiwoo panics. 

“No, wait,” she calls out, “I wanted to apologize!”

Sooyoung halts in her tracks, turning around to face Jiwoo. “What?”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo affirms. “I wanted to apologize. I was really, astronomically terrible to you, and I-”

“Save it,” Sooyoung spits out, her voice laced with much more venom than Jiwoo can handle. “I’ll talk to Haseul - you can do the project by yourself.”

Sooyoung turns around, and Jiwoo’s mind races - she does want to do this project by herself, but she’s also not a bad person. She’s not about to leave Sooyoung like this.

“Sooyoung, wait!” Jiwoo cries out. “I can’t- you can’t- no!”

Sooyoung fixes Jiwoo with a stern look. “What do you want me to do?”

“Talk?” Jiwoo says weakly. Sooyoung twists the doorknob, and Jiwoo is out of options.

“I was jealous!” she bursts out, her eyes filling with tears. 

Sooyoung, her interest properly piqued, sets her stack of paper down, her eyes softening, as Jiwoo continues to talk.

“I’d worked so hard to get to where I am, and I just- I didn’t think it was fair that I had to share that project with someone who’d barely worked half as hard, but I was wrong. I was so wrong. You deserve it, Sooyoung - you really do.”

Sooyoung opens her mouth, presumably to retaliate, but Jiwoo isn’t finished.

“And it’s not like I’m really that opposed to Haseul putting you on the project, either - it’s that you’re practically my student. You only trained under me for, like, three months, and now you’re suddenly a full-time employee? It just seemed so _unfair_ \- I’d trained for at least six before I could even dream of working as a full-time employee, much less tackle a featured piece, but anyways, I just. I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says quietly, a hint of a smile teasing at her lips. “Are you done talking?”

“Sorry about that,” Jiwoo mimes throwing up. “When I’m upset, I tend to just-”

“Overshare?”

“Yeah.” A blush tickles at Jiwoo’s cheeks. “Overshare.”

“Well, can I say something?” Sooyoung asks, and Jiwoo can _definitely_ see the beginnings of a smile there.

“Go ahead, yeah.”

“First of all, thank you,” Sooyoung begins. “Both for that delicious apple-cinnamon scramble thing you gave me, as well as the apology.”

“It was a deconstructed apple pie,” Jiwoo mutters dejectedly, and Sooyoung stifles a giggle.

“Second, I don’t think you realized how much you helped me as an intern,” Sooyoung continues, eliciting a sharp intake of air from Jiwoo. “It was only because of you that I was able to get through everything so quickly, you know.”

“Well,” Jiwoo flushes. “I-”

“And finally, I kind of want to just put this behind us,” Sooyoung concludes, her own cheeks dusted with pink. “I have full faith that both of us are above this, both morally and professionally, so I honestly think that we should forget about this incident and just work on the piece together.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo confesses, “I agree, let’s do that.”

“Perfect,” Sooyoung agrees. “Why don’t we revise the briefing first? Then we can do our research, consolidate information, and put the presentation together.”

“Sounds good,” Jiwoo returns easily. “I’ll grab the file, and we can get started after the lunch break ends.”

Sooyoung offers Jiwoo a smile - a real smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling, and her irises twinkling - and Jiwoo feels considerably more at ease. This is exactly what she wanted - not Sooyoung’s forgiveness, per se, but for them to be at a better place with each other.

And that’s what ultimately fuels her. 

Jiwoo and Sooyoung pore over the project details, dissecting and exchanging ideas, and go their separate ways to research. Long nights are spent working on the project, an abundance of emptied hot chocolate cups filling up their wastebaskets, and as the week progresses, Jiwoo and Sooyoung start instinctively taking the bus home together.

It’s unspoken, entirely intuitive, but the girls just seem to click in a way they’ve never been able to before. It’s in the little things - the way Jiwoo starts automatically picking up two hot chocolates instead of one, the way Sooyoung practically lives in Jiwoo’s cramped cubicle, the way Jiwoo actually finds the space for Sooyoung to be able to do that - and all of it ultimately coalesces into the fruit of their labor: the finalized feature piece.

It’s a dreary Thursday evening when the pair first unveils the piece to Haseul, and much to their relief, she immediately bestows them with an abundance of praise.

“This is exactly what we were looking for!” Haseul exclaims, tearing her horn-rimmed glasses off to further accentuate her point. “Good job, both of you.”

Jiwoo and Sooyoung exchange a glance, suppressing twin smiles of excitement, as Haseul continues.

“Your next assignments are, unfortunately, not together, but hopefully you’ll deliver on them the way you delivered on this,” Haseul says, handing each girl a folder before offering them a rare smile.

“Good work, girls,” she concludes. “Congratulations.”

Jiwoo bows, attempting desperately to keep her demeanor professional, but is vibrating with charged energy. She can hardly believe that she and Sooyoung managed to not only finish the piece, but to do it well enough to garner praise from Haseul - who is infamous for her overly critical attitude.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung head back to their respective cubicles, exchanging a final look of triumph, before sitting down to work on their new assignments. For Jiwoo, this means an extra couple hours of research before she heads home, but that’s perfectly fine with her.

When a couple hours becomes over seven and it’s suddenly 2:30 in the morning, however, Jiwoo is left to reconsider. She loves her job, she really does, but it does take a lot out of her.

Packing up her things, Jiwoo logs out of her computer, heading over to the cubicles around her to ensure that everyone has gone home for the night.

It’s then that she sees Sooyoung slumped over her desk, breathing softly as her computer whirs in the background. Jiwoo exhales softly, releasing a breath she didn’t even know she was holding, and gently shakes Sooyoung’s shoulder.

“Hey, wake up,” Jiwoo says, rousing Sooyoung. Sooyoung awakens, rubbing her eyes blearily as she adjusts to the light.

“What time is it?”

Jiwoo glances at her watch. “About 2:30. We really should get going.”

Sooyoung looks down at the mess on her desk. “Well…”

“It’s okay,” Jiwoo hears herself saying. “I’ll help you clean up. We can head out together.”

Sooyoung shoots her a grateful smile, and approximately fifteen minutes later, the pair find themselves running to catch the 2:45 bus.

“I can’t believe I forgot the bus timings,” Jiwoo huffs, pushing her legs as fast as she can. Her breaths condense in the frigid air, creating puffs of air that trail up to the sky, a stark contrast against the night.

“Hey, it’s my fault too,” Sooyoung pants, matching pace with Jiwoo. “I went and fell asleep, and look where we are now.”

“Look, the bus!” Jiwoo positively screeches, and the pair quicken their pace, bounding into the bus one after the other, only stopping to catch their breath until they’re safely seated within the confines of the bus.

“Whew, we made it,” Sooyoung sighs, her breathing uneven and hair nicely disheveled.

“Thank goodness for that,” Jiwoo pants, equally out of breath. “Not going to lie, though, I can’t believe we actually made it.”

Sooyoung throws her head back, laughing. “No, same, but I’m glad that we did.”

“Yeah?” 

Jiwoo looks over at Sooyoung, who pauses, a bright smile lingering on her face.

“Yeah.”

And so the pair lapses into a comfortable silence, allowing the rumble of the bus to fill their gap in conversation. It’s nice - Jiwoo’s eyelids grow heavy as the monotony of the bus persists, and she eventually winds up being shaken awake by Sooyoung.

“Hey, this is your stop, right?” Sooyoung murmurs. Jiwoo lifts her off the girl’s shoulder with a start, realizing that this is indeed her stop, and lets out a quick apology before stepping off the bus.

Waving goodbye to Sooyoung, Jiwoo finally stumbles home, thoroughly wiped from the day’s activities, and heads straight for her bed.

All she really needs now is a good twelve-hour nap.

-

Jiwoo doesn't even get five minutes of proper rest before her phone goes off, nearly giving her an aneurysm.

Rolling her eyes as she sees the caller ID, Jiwoo rejects the call.

The caller tries again almost immediately after, and with a frustrated grunt, Jiwoo accepts the call.

"What do you want, Mom?" Jiwoo groans, resisting the urge to cry. "It's nearly three in the morning."

"Nothing, I just wanted to check up on you," Jiwoo's mother replies, her tone laced with sugar.

"No, really, what do you want?"

"Can't a mother just call her favorite daughter and ask how she's doing?"

"At three in the morning?"

Jiwoo's mother sighs. "Okay, fine. I was calling to ask you if you've found a girlfriend yet."

Jiwoo pinches the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on. "Not yet, mom," she says sweetly, her voice squeaking on the last syllable. "But don't forget, I still have a month."

"But is a month enough for you to get close enough to a girl to bring her home?"

"Yes, Mom," Jiwoo forces through her teeth. "It's more than enough, thank you."

"No need to get snippy," Jiwoo's mother huffs. "I'm just making sure you're staying on track."

"Thank you," Jiwoo pauses. "But there really is no need. I can handle myself."

"Whatever you say, Jiwoo," Jiwoo's mother replies curtly. "I'd better receive updates, though. I want to see this girlfriend of yours."

"Okay, Mom," Jiwoo squeezes her eyes a shut, her head aching with all of the noise. "Is that all?"

"Yes, I suppose," Jiwoo's mother sighs. "But are you really sure that you'll be alright?"

"Yes, I'll be fine," Jiwoo forces out. "Good night, Mom."

"Good night, Jiwoo," Jiwoo's mother returns, and Jiwoo ends the call.

Sinking back into her bed, Jiwoo rubs at her temples, willing her migraine away. She can't handle a migraine on top of her already-spiraling train of thought.

Praying for a miracle encounter with a cute girl, Jiwoo stares at her alarm clock, lulling herself into an uneasy sleep.

-

Jiwoo lies awake in bed, watching as her alarm clock blinks weakly, broadcasting the time as 6:30 am. She’s exhausted, the necessity to sleep filling the ever-growing circles under her eyes, but her intrusive thoughts keep her wide awake.

How the _hell_ is Jiwoo supposed to find herself a girlfriend? She literally doesn’t know anyone single in any of her circles, and seeing as the only other person she’s had feelings for in the last six months is someone she currently hates, there aren’t too many options out there for her.

There’s always Hyejoo, Jiwoo reminds herself. She’s sure the girl knows _someone_ willing to go out with her.

Jiwoo wills herself up, grabbing her phone off her desk, and shoots a quick text over to Hyejoo, in spite of her own nagging qualms with the plan. It’s not a _bad_ plan, per se - logistically, it could work, as long as Jiwoo can get close enough to her future girlfriend to bring her home for Chuseok. It’s just that the problem of getting close enough to this girl to bring her home for Chuseok is ever-present and increasingly difficult to bury in the back of her mind.

And, unfortunately, it’s an impediment to her life. Jiwoo considers herself an extrovert by all means - she loves being around people, and people love being around her. The only issue is, Jiwoo has never been in a relationship before, which means that she doesn’t know what she’s like as a romantic partner.

That’s obviously a bit of an issue.

It’s not like Jiwoo has ever been _opposed_ to dating, and it’s not like she hasn’t had any admirers, either. Jiwoo has received her fair share of Valentine’s garbage, and White Day has always been extra stressful for her, no thanks to the horde of admirers she’d had in high school.

But Jiwoo has never found it easy to settle. Maybe it’s in the way that she wears her heart on her sleeve, falling too fast and too hard for too short a time, or maybe it’s in the way she’s always been into girls that are way out of her league.

Either way, it doesn’t bode well for Jiwoo, seeing as she’s never been in a proper relationship before - and no, discovering her lesbianism by making out with Jungeun in the girls’ locker room in eighth grade does _not_ count, that was _strictly_ platonic - and she’s still yet to find the girl of her dreams.

Well, except for _Sooyoung,_ but-

Nope. Absolutely not. Jiwoo isn’t going there - she despises Sooyoung. One harmful spiral a day is good enough for her.

Jiwoo’s phone vibrates, jerking her out of her reverie.

**hyejoo**

sorry what are u looking for???

also its so early tf are u doing it’s literally a saturday

**jiwoo**

a gf

like

a girlfriend

????

also shut up im kinda stressing over this

**hyejoo**

LMAOOO

ur not serious??

**jiwoo**

and if i am?

**hyejoo**

sweetie

no<3

**jiwoo**

BUT U HAVE TO HELP ME

MY MOM’S GOING TO SET ME UP WITH WITH SHIN RYUJIN

**hyejoo**

and ??

**jiwoo**

WHAT DO U MEAN

THE KID IS LIKE 14

AND STILL EATS DIRT

**hyejoo**

LMAOO SURE

**jiwoo**

ITS TRUE

HELP MEEEE

**hyejoo**

bro

u dont need my help

there r literally girls lining up from 3 miles away trying to get to know u

**jiwoo**

THE LIES OMG

  
  


Jiwoo pauses, her fingers hovering over her keyboard, at a loss for a response with just the right amount of snark. Hyejoo is typing, probably with a snide comeback of her own, so Jiwoo lets it go.

**hyejoo**

if u rlly want me to set u up w someone

i think ik a person ??

well i have a couple in mind

**jiwoo**

YES PLS

GIMME CONTACT INFO

LIKE RN

**hyejoo**

ok jeez calm down

here’s the number

xxx-xx-xxx

**jiwoo**

PERFECT TYSM

ILY BBY

**hyejoo**

calm tf down, u may not even like her

but ye np np

**jiwoo**

ILYYYY

BRB GETTING MYSELF A GF

Jiwoo grins, exiting out of her chat with Hyejoo, as she keys in the girl’s number. Opening up a new chat, Jiwoo sends her a text.

**jiwoo**

hiii!!!! i’m jiwoo, hyejoos friend :D :D

i’d rlly like to get to know u better <333

Jiwoo frowns at the message, wondering if she’s used too many exclamation points. Or emojis. But it’s too late to change anything now, so she closes her phone and stares up at the ceiling, willing a text to come.

Jiwoo’s phone vibrates.

**unknown**

[This is an automated message from the Association for the Welfare of Penguins. Please respond with STOP if you would like to unsubscribe.]

Hello, hiii!!!! i'm jiwoo, hyejoos friend :D :D. Would you be interested in donating just ₩40,000 per month to aid the preservation of penguins scattered across the Southern Hemisphere? You could change lives! Just contact...

Jiwoo stares at the text in utter confusion, wondering where she’s gone wrong. She double checks the number that Hyejoo had provided her with, even sending another text - to receive the same message in response - and Jiwoo is properly upset.

**jiwoo**

HYEJOO

**hyejoo**

ye whats up

**jiwoo**

HOW MEAN OF U :’((( IM CRYING :’(((

**hyejoo**

no ur not

**jiwoo**

no im not :((

BUT IM STILL SAD

WHY R U SO MEAN

**hyejoo**

what??? i thought u would like it??

**jiwoo**

I WAS BEING SERIOUS THO

I NEED A GF OR ILL HAVE TO DATE RYUJIN

NOBODY WANTS TO DATE RYUJIN

**hyejoo**

uh well abt that

sorry no can do

i cant just produce a gf for u out of nowhere

doesnt work like that

**jiwoo**

BUT U HAVE CONNECTIONS

U KNOW PPL

**hyejoo**

well who says they wanna date u

**jiwoo**

HYEJOO

**hyejoo**

JK JK

but im just saying

i have a lot of friends sure

but theyre not necessarily single??

or looking for someone ig

**jiwoo**

but hyejoo :((

i dont wanna date ryujin :((

**hyejoo**

ugh i hate u

**jiwoo**

but ur not going to leave me to date ryujin :((

**hyejoo**

OK FINE

i can ask someone but shes probably not going to want to date u of her own accord

u gotta bribe her

**jiwoo**

wow thanks that made me feel so much better

(also what do i bribe her with??)

**hyejoo**

sugar

(both literally and figuratively)

**jiwoo**

ok ok i think it could work ??

i mean the goal is to get a gf

its abt the end not the means right

**hyejoo**

ye sure

whatever helps u sleep better at night

**jiwoo**

WHEW OK

so uh

are u going to give me her number, or ??

**hyejoo**

well abt that

she probably wants to meet u in person

so u should probably set up a meeting w her or smth

**jiwoo**

how ??

i dont have her number ??

**hyejoo**

no ill do it

give me a date/time/whatever

ill help u set it up

**jiwoo**

ok cool that works

Jiwoo closes her phone, allowing the sweet blanket of relief to settle upon her. She does find it odd that Hyejoo is being so dodgy with regards to this girl’s number, but she’ll let it go. After all, she needs this girl to get her micromanaging mother out of her personal life.

Jiwoo sighs, flopping back on her bed, as she allows herself to lapse into an uneasy sleep. She’s not sure what this date will entail, but she’s sure she’ll enjoy it. 

-

Jiwoo sits in the corner of her favorite coffee shop, seriously reevaluating her life decisions. The barista - whom Jiwoo has actually somewhat befriended, thanks to her regular sugar fixes - eyes Jiwoo pityingly, probably assuming that Jiwoo has been stood up.

Jiwoo wants to tell Chungha that there’s no way she would ever get stood up - she’s just half an hour early.

(Okay, she’s an hour early. But she’s paranoid - who knows what could happen?)

Nerves stirring the breakfast she’d had earlier in her stomach, Jiwoo shoots Hyejoo a quick text, double-checking the details of the date.

**jiwoo**

so its the usual cafe right

at 11 am??

and look for the girl with the red scarf

**hyejoo**

cafe, 11, girl in red??

ye that sounds abt right

why tho

are u panicking or smth ??

Jiwoo doesn’t want to tell Hyejoo that she’s already at the cafe.

**jiwoo**

no no just double checking

also why cant i just text the girl myself

and whats her name again ??

Hyejoo’s icon disappears, then reappears, before disappearing altogether, and Jiwoo is left wondering what she asked that was so difficult to answer.

She closes her phone, sipping at her drink - and then immediately regrets it, because her stomach churns at the addition of the hot chocolate. Allowing her body to slacken, Jiwoo sighs. She still has at least forty-five minutes before her date shows up, and she’s regretting arriving at the coffee shop so early.

(She’d assumed it would somewhat alleviate her nerves, and she’d been wrong. Terribly wrong.)

Jiwoo’s phone goes off, startling her.

**hyejoo**

sooyoung

Jiwoo’s heart rate spikes at the name filling her phone screen, but she shakes her head, rationalizing the situation. It can’t be her coworker - this must be some kind of coincidence.

Yeah, Jiwoo thinks, forcing her wave of anxiety to subside. A coincidence. A lovely, perfectly amazing girl who just happens to share a name with the object of all her fantasies.

Jiwoo’s phone pings with another notification.

**hyejoo**

heres her number before u panic

xx-xxxx-xxx

Jiwoo sighs in relief, the last of her anxiety melting away. Of course it isn’t the same Sooyoung - what was she thinking? Hyejoo may be evil, but she isn’t _that_ evil - plus, Jiwoo is fairly sure that her coworker is taken anyway.

(Jiwoo ignores the little voice inside of her telling her that she never did get Sooyoung’s number, despite all the time they had spent working together on the feature piece, so yes, it could indeed be a possibility.)

Shaking her head, Jiwoo opens up a new message, inputting the girl’s number before shooting her a quick introductory text. Jiwoo is much more guarded with her message this time, in case Hyejoo has provided her with another automated messaging number.

**jiwoo**

hey this is jiwoo, hyejoo’s friend

we’re meeting up today at the satellite cafe?

**sooyoung**

hey, i’m sooyoung

yup, i’m on my way there as we speak

should be arriving in about 5-10 min

i’m not late right?

Jiwoo sighs in relief, silently thanking Hyejoo for actually following through this time, and quickly responds to Sooyoung’s text.

**jiwoo**

no dw, i’m just early

i’ll see you then!!

Jiwoo closes her phone, glancing at her watch. There are about twenty-five minutes left before their official meeting time, and with Sooyoung arriving in about ten or so, that puts her at being around fifteen minutes early.

Jiwoo simply assumes that the girl must either be extremely punctual or extremely nervous about this date, finally deciding that it must be the latter.

Jiwoo rises from her seat, throwing away her half-full cup of hot chocolate - which is now cold and virtually inedible, no thanks to Jiwoo ignoring it in lieu of her phone - before resuming her wait for her date.

Finally, Jiwoo’s phone goes off, signaling that Sooyoung has arrived. She looks up, waiting for the girl to enter, but all she can see is-

Ha Sooyoung. 

All Jiwoo can see is Ha Sooyoung, her hair tucked under her ever-present gray beanie, a knitted red scarf adorning her neck, and a long tan overcoat further accentuating her willowy legs as she walks up to the counter, presumably to place an order.

Jiwoo blanches, not quite believing her eyes, and glances down at her phone, just to make sure her eyes aren’t somehow deceiving her.

**sooyoung**

i’m here!

The incriminating words jump out at Jiwoo, swirling the hot chocolate she’d consumed earlier in her stomach, and Jiwoo is left genuinely wondering if this is some kind of joke.

She watches as Sooyoung makes her way over to a table a few over from hers, shooting her a small smile of acknowledgement before pulling out her phone.

**sooyoung**

where are you sitting? 

i’m not sure i saw you so i kinda found my own table

Jiwoo’s breath catches in her throat. Sooyoung must be under the same impression she is - that her date is a completely different person, but more importantly, that they are _not_ coworkers.

Joke’s on her, Jiwoo’s inner monologue snickers. Hyejoo pranked _both_ of them.

Jiwoo considers her options: she could either walk out of the cafe and give Hyejoo an earful (which is quite appealing), or she could walk over to Sooyoung and introduce herself (which is decidedly less appealing).

Jiwoo really doesn’t want to talk to Sooyoung about this.

Yet Jiwoo’s inner monologue reminds her that if she walks out now, there is no way that she’ll be able to scrape together another date to satisfy her mother, which would mean that-

Nope, Jiwoo will _not_ settle for Ryujin and her dirt-eating.

Jiwoo stares at her phone, willing an idea to somehow magically spring into her mind, as another text pops up.

**sooyoung**

hey, where are you?

Jiwoo resists the urge to put her head in her hands and scream, for she is currently in a public setting, and does not want to get fined for creating a public nuisance. She instead opts to send Hyejoo a barrage of angry texts, chewing her out for her prank, before finally swallowing her pride and texting Sooyoung.

**jiwoo**

coming over to your table

Jiwoo steels herself internally for a difficult conversation, crafting one elaborate excuse after another (and rejecting the aforementioned excuses as she comes up with them) as she makes her way over to Sooyoung’s table. Sooyoung glances up at her, surprised, as Jiwoo plasters on her biggest smile.

“Hey, Jiwoo,” Sooyoung greets her with a smile. “What’s up?”

All of Jiwoo’s half-baked excuses flee her mind, and she’s left speechless, her smile the only thing filling the awkward silence.

“It’s nice to see you?” Sooyoung offers, her own smile wavering. “Were you waiting for someone?”

Jiwoo grimaces. “About that,” she begins, cringing at her awkwardness. “I think Hyejoo might have pranked us.”

“Oh?” 

Jiwoo nods, taking the seat across from Sooyoung. “We’re both here on blind dates, correct?”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung replies, arching a slit eyebrow. “And?”

“Well,” Jiwoo pauses, wincing, “I think Hyejoo might have set us up with each other?”

Sooyoung’s eyebrows shoot up, her eyes widening and lips parting, and Jiwoo rushes to amend the situation.

“I mean, this is you, right?” Jiwoo asks, showing Sooyoung the messages they’d exchanged earlier.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Sooyoung mutters, evidently just as bewildered as Jiwoo at the situation. “Huh, that’s…”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo finishes. “Sorry about that?”

Sooyoung flashes Jiwoo a smile. “No need to apologize,” she reassures her. “It’s on Hyejoo at this point.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo lets out a nervous giggle. “Hyejoo’s the one to blame.”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung agrees, trailing off. “So should we continue this date, or…?”

Keep it together, Jiwoo tells herself, all while keeping her smile on her face. She is most _definitely_ not offended by the fact that Sooyoung has just insinuated that she would gladly ditch this little blind date mishap they have going on.

“Well,” Jiwoo pauses. “Do you want to continue this?”

Sooyoung shifts uncomfortably, pulling her purse closer to her body. “Well, I don’t know…”

Jiwoo’s smile tightens, her sinuses beginning to close, as Sooyoung’s words sink in. She _isn’t_ offended, she internally chants, a mantra of sorts, this _isn’t_ offending her.

Sooyoung offers Jiwoo an apologetic smile. “I mean, if you don’t mind, then I guess I’ll-”

“No, wait!” Jiwoo blurts out, and then immediately regrets ever being born. Sooyoung pauses, watching Jiwoo expectantly, and Jiwoo - well, Jiwoo is a mess.

“I need your help,” she confesses, wringing her hands out. “My mom’s going to set me up with our weirdo of a neighbor unless I get a girlfriend by Chuseok, except this was my only shot at getting a girlfriend, and since Hyejoo decided to prank me, I’m kind of screwed.”

Sooyoung gapes at Jiwoo’s outburst, but she plows forward nonetheless.

“I don’t even care if you don’t want to date me, please at least fake date me so I don’t have to go out with my neighbor,” Jiwoo begs, ignoring her flaming face. “Please, I can’t handle going out with that weirdo.”

Sooyoung is visibly taken aback, her eyebrows raised and lips parted, yet as Jiwoo stares at her pleadingly, Sooyoung allows her body to relax.

“Is it really that bad?” Sooyoung questions, mirth tinging her voice. “I’m sure your neighbor isn’t _that_ -”

“She still eats dirt,” Jiwoo interrupts, her face entirely impassive, and this garners a smile from Sooyoung.

“Are you sure?” Sooyoung laughs, running a hand through her hair. “I mean, I feel like you’re exaggerating-”

“Please help me,” Jiwoo pleads, turning on her puppy eyes. “I’ll even pay you if you want.”

Sooyoung snorts. “Pay me? With what?”

“Um,” Jiwoo pauses, mind whirring. “How about, uh, desserts! Yeah, I’ll bake you anything you’d like!”

Sooyoung nods in acknowledgement, considering Jiwoo’s proposal. After a few moments of deliberation, she relents.

“Okay,” Sooyoung accepts, “I’ll fake date you. But only for the desserts. I’m still not over that deconstructed apple pie you made me.”

“Yes!” Jiwoo nearly punches the air. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem,” Sooyoung replies, the beginnings of a smile tugging at her lips. “So what exactly is this fake dating situation going to entail?”

“Oh, that,” Jiwoo quiets down, pausing for a moment. “The main goal is for you to come over for Chuseok, I guess.”

“And that’s a one-time thing?” Sooyoung questions.

Jiwoo nods. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I just need you for that. You’re a convincing actor, right?”

“I mean, I did participate in a couple plays in middle school,” Sooyoung chuckles, eliciting a laugh from Jiwoo as well.

“That definitely works,” she says. “All you need to do is convince my mother.”

Sooyoung nods thoughtfully, resting her chin on her hand. “I feel like we’re missing something, though.”

Jiwoo cocks her head to the side, also in thought. “Are you sure?”

Sooyoung hums in affirmation, her lips pursed as she concentrates, finally snapping her fingers.

“I know,” she says. “We’re not realistic enough!”

“Sorry, _what?”_

“We’re not selling this enough,” Sooyoung continues excitedly. “Think about it - we have no contact whatsoever for the next month and a half, and then I suddenly show up for Chuseok? That’s a pretty huge step - your mom’s not going to believe for a second that we’re actually dating.”

“Wait, you’re right,” Jiwoo muses, stroking her chin. "What should we do?"

"Hmm," Sooyoung pauses. "Maybe we should go out on a couple fake dates before Chuseok? Just to get to know each other a little better, plus you have evidence if your mother ever asks."

"That's a good idea!" Jiwoo exclaims. "My mom's definitely the intrusive type, so I feel like that would work really well."

"Okay, perfect." Sooyoung clasps her hands together. "When should our first date be?"

"Oh, right," Jiwoo pauses, in thought. "Maybe next week? We could go to Lotte World or something?"

"During the off-season?"

"Exactly, tickets cost less."

"Oh yeah, that makes sense," Sooyoung acknowledges, extending her hand. "It's a date?"

Jiwoo accepts Sooyoung’s hand with a grin, exclaiming, "It's a date!"

She and Sooyoung exchange one last glance before parting ways, and just like that, Jiwoo has a chance at survival again. It may not be the whirlwind romance she'd been expecting, but it'll get her mother off her back, and that's all she really needs.

And that's how Jiwoo convinces herself that this - a no-strings-attached, completely platonic, friendly outing amongst a couple of coworkers - is okay. Because at the end of the day, Jiwoo knows that isn't going to end up catching feelings and ruining their relationship.

Or, at least, she _hopes._

-

Jiwoo pulls her cardigan more tightly around her, shivering in the early November wind. She awaits the bus that Sooyoung is arriving in, so as to accompany her to Lotte World. 

Jiwoo is regretting her plan just a little as she eyes the angry clouds beginning to form in the sky, and sends Sooyoung a text to account for it.

**jiwoo**

i hope it doesnt rain

**sooyoung**

dw the weather forecast said it would be fine

just a smattering of clouds

Jiwoo glances up at the exceedingly gray sky, wondering what exactly constitutes as a smattering.

**jiwoo**

you're sure right??

because it looks pretty cloudy to me

**sooyoung**

it's ok, don't worry about it

we can always reschedule the date if the weather doesn't work out

Jiwoo huffs, her breath condensing in the air, and sends the weatherman a quick prayer for good weather. She really can't afford to lose today - contrary to what she'd told her mother earlier, her clock is ticking, and there's only so much time she has to frame her narrative.

So she resumes her shivering, keeping a close eye on her phone for any messages from Sooyoung, and waits.

It's the only thing she can do.

-

When Sooyoung arrives about ten minutes later, Jiwoo is almost entirely frozen - her teeth are chattering incessantly, her small frame is literally trembling, and her lips are nearly blue. Sooyoung takes one look at her and removes her own jacket - a much more practical fleece overcoat - and puts it around Jiwoo, ushering her into the inside of the seat.

"Are you okay?" Sooyoung asks, concern etching her features.

"I'm fine, don't worry," Jiwoo manages weakly, deepening the furrow in Sooyoung's eyebrows.

"We should stop for a warm drink or something, you're literally freezing," she mutters. "Here, keep your hands in the pockets, I've got hand warmers."

"Oh, thanks," Jiwoo chatters, slipping her hands into the pockets of Sooyoung's coat. The hand warmers are indeed there, little pockets of joy to Jiwoo's freezing hands, and very little deters Jiwoo from expressing her relief out loud.

"Thank you so much," Jiwoo sighs, allowing the life to seep back into her hands. "I definitely should have thought my outfit out better."

"No problem," Sooyoung returns easily. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, for sure," Jiwoo replies, flexing her fingers. "I can move these again, so…"

Sooyoung laughs, but not without a hint of concern in her features. "You sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry," Jiwoo affirms, offering Sooyoung a small smile. "I really am okay. We should go straight for Lotte World."

Sooyoung looks unconvinced, but she doesn't push it. "Okay, sounds good."

And so they proceed, making small talk as the Seoul cityscape bleeds into Gangnam, then finally merges into the familiar gates of Lotte World. It's a sight Jiwoo has beheld many a time - after all, her family's annual Lotte World trips were an integral part of her childhood - but Jiwoo can't help but feel a childlike sense of wonder settle down on her upon seeing those oh-so-familiar gates.

"Come on, let's go!" Jiwoo exclaims, tugging at Sooyoung excitedly. "We have to go on the ferris wheel, it's literally the best part!"

"Whoa, hold on there," Sooyoung cautions, but not without a smile on her face. "I gotta pay the bus fares first."

"Oh wait, I can-"

"No need," Sooyoung cuts Jiwoo off, handing her card to the driver. "I got it."

"Wait, now I feel bad," Jiwoo pouts dejectedly. "You didn't need to pick that up, can I at least repay you?"

"Through a dessert, yes," Sooyoung smiles, holding the door out for Jiwoo. "But for now, let's just go have some fun."

Her temporary sadness forgotten, Jiwoo leaps out of the car, purchasing a couple tickets at the front before heading into the park with Sooyoung. 

Attraction after attraction catching their eyes - Jiwoo and Sooyoung do it all. From the carousel (which Jiwoo insists on riding five times, much to Sooyoung’s chagrin) to the haunted house (in which Jiwoo and Sooyoung, who are equally frightened, cling onto each other for dear life and pray that they won't get their souls sucked out of them by the multitude of ghouls and vampires dispersed throughout the structure), the girls' day is spent meandering about the various elements of the park, enjoying an abundance of junk food as they go about it.

It's only a couple hours before they leave that the ever-fickle weather decides to betray them, a frigid sheet of rain coming down on the girls as they desperately seek shelter under a ring toss booth. The woman administrating the aforementioned booth coos at them, showering them with compliments about their relationship status.

Jiwoo has the decency to feel embarrassed, ducking her head and brushing away the woman's compliments as they come, but Sooyoung milks it for what it is, accepting the woman's praise with a smile. An odd feeling tugs at Jiwoo's heart as she observes Sooyoung interacting with the woman. She can't quite place it, but it leaves her breathless and winded - it's almost a punch to the gut.

She shrugs it off, however, when the woman offers a free game to Sooyoung, who gladly accepts the challenge. Jiwoo does her best to egg Sooyoung on, even expressing her desire for the enormous penguin plushie that sits amongst the prizes. Sooyoung does her best with the game, landing two out of the three bottles, but unfortunately falls short of winning the penguin. Jiwoo is hardly crushed by Sooyoung's loss - rather, she's more than impressed with Sooyoung's ring toss skills - yet the woman hands Jiwoo the penguin plushie anyway, shooing the couple out of her booth as they try to return it to her.

Given that the weather has just about cleared up, Jiwoo takes it upon herself to drag Sooyoung to the giant ferris wheel at the center of the park. 

"Come on!" Jiwoo goads, pulling on Sooyoung's sleeve. "It'll be so much fun!"

Sooyoung stifles a giggle, shifting Jiwoo's giant penguin so her face can be seen. "But haven't you had enough already?"

"Please," Jiwoo whimpers, turning her puppy eyes up to the maximum. "I promise this can be the last thing we do for today."

"Okay, fine," Sooyoung concedes, letting out a laugh at Jiwoo's suddenly bright expression. "But this is the last one, okay?"

"Yes!" Jiwoo crows. "Thank you so much, Sooyoung."

"Yeah, of course," Sooyoung says tenderly, intensifying the atmosphere, and Jiwoo is almost uncomfortable with how close she's gotten to Sooyoung in the last couple of hours.

"Come on, let's take some pictures!" Jiwoo exclaims, attempting to reinstate the more relaxed vibe they'd had previously. "I gotta have proof for my mom!"

Sooyoung's smile falls, almost imperceptibly, but she straightens up, pulling out her phone. "Sounds good," she decides. "Gotta find the best angle, though."

There's something ever-so-slightly off about Sooyoung's overly friendly demeanor, something so miniscule that Jiwoo almost misses it.

But she doesn't.

Something catches in Jiwoo - her telltale sign, to be exact - but she ignores it. It's not something she can dwell on, and it's not something she _will_ dwell on.

So instead she smiles. Taking an abundance of pictures, giggling through the ride, and pointing out all the landmarks she can possibly see from the height of the ferris wheel, Jiwoo indulges in her time with Sooyoung to the best of her abilities. Her former qualms with the girl beginning to slip away, Jiwoo bids Sooyoung farewell with a lingering hug - a completely platonic hug between completely platonic coworkers, as one does - as the pair go their separate ways.

Jiwoo doesn't know why, but the bus ride home feels extra lonely that day.

-

"I'm telling you, it's true!" Jiwoo insists, shoving her phone towards her low-quality laptop camera. She and her mother are currently video calling, and much to her chagrin, Jiwoo's mother refuses to believe that she's actually snagged a girlfriend.

(Actually, that makes sense, given that Jiwoo and Sooyoung really aren't dating, but is Jiwoo going to concede to her mother? Absolutely not.)

"Can't you see us together in this picture? We literally went on a date to Lotte World," Jiwoo huffs, frustration tinging her tone. She even grabs her penguin plushie - whom she’s named Chuu, because she’s a weeb like that - and waves it in front of the camera. “See, she even won me this penguin plushie!”

Jiwoo's mother seems to disregard Jiwoo’s evidence almost entirely, instead raising a skeptical eyebrow at her.

"You went to Lotte World in the middle of the off season?" 

"Yes, Mom," Jiwoo rolls her eyes. "It's obviously the best time to go - tickets are dirt cheap."

"I see," Jiwoo's mother tuts. "Well, what did you say her name was again?"

"Sooyoung," Jiwoo lists impatiently. "Ha Sooyoung. We're coworkers, Mom."

"Ah, I see," Jiwoo's mother peers at her over her spectacles. "And when did you ask her out?"

"During lunch one day," Jiwoo lies easily. "We were alone in the break room, and I kinda just walked up to her and asked her. She said yes, and the rest is history."

"But do you really think you can get close enough to her to bring her over for Chuseok?"

"I can, okay?" Jiwoo emphasizes. "She already won me a plushie and everything, I feel like we're really developing our relationship."

"Whatever you say, Jiwoo," Jiwoo's mother sighs. "Well, I'm proud of you. I guess I'll have to tell Mrs. Shin that you can't go out on a date with Ryujin, after all."

Sweet relief swells up in Jiwoo as she nods fervently.

"Yes, you should definitely tell Mrs. Shin that I'm not available," Jiwoo rambles, the words tumbling out of her mouth. "Sooyoung and I have something really special, you know? I just can't ever imagine having something like that with Ryujin."

Jiwoo's mother pauses, simply regarding her daughter. "I will, then," she says slowly, and Jiwoo almost feels naked, her inner thoughts - especially those about a certain fake girlfriend - exposed to the world.

But she buries that inkling deep inside of her, ending the call with a forced smile and hurried excuse, and does nothing about it - because she knows that she can't - and instead focuses on the dessert she’s making as payment for Sooyoung.

Jiwoo’s starting off fairly easy - today’s dessert is simply a tray of apple dumplings, sweet and indulgent, and most importantly, a fan favorite. Her recipe’s tried and true - she’s received an abundance of praise for her baking - and Jiwoo is sure that it will be a hit with Sooyoung.

Her prediction proves to be accurate when she presents Sooyoung with the dessert the very next day, and is immediately confronted with a litany of compliments from Sooyoung.

Properly validated, Jiwoo beams, excitedly asking Sooyoung what their next date will be. Sooyoung simply offers her an enigmatic smile, telling her that she’ll choose their next date.

Jiwoo spends all day wondering what their next date will hold, and ultimately falls asleep that night fantasizing about the wonderful things she and Sooyoung could do together.

And really, that’s where the trouble begins.

-

When Sooyoung had told Jiwoo that she would choose their next date, Jiwoo had expected something cool and athletic - such as roller skating, or the like - but she currently finds herself standing in front of family-owned music store, vintage-inspired and aesthetic in a way that Jiwoo wouldn’t necessarily associate with Sooyoung.

“So?” Sooyoung asks, a bright smile on her face. “What do you think?”

“I like it,” Jiwoo nods decisively. “It’s… nice.”

Sooyoung’s face falls. “So you hate it?”

“No, no,” Jiwoo rushes to clarify herself. “It’s cool, it really is - and I do love all the vintage stuff - it’s just that I wasn’t quite expecting this?”

“What were you expecting, then?” Sooyoung laughs. “A camera shop?”

“ _Stop,_ not everything is work,” Jiwoo rolls her eyes. “I don’t know, though. I think I was expecting something that’s a little more… you?”

“This _is_ me,” Sooyoung emphasizes, crossing her arms. “I love vintage music, the whole aesthetic is something I love.”

“Tell me about it, then,” Jiwoo encourages. “It seems pretty interesting.”

“Says you, the one who listens to Babymetal,” Sooyoung snorts. “Okay, well, I guess the whole point of bringing you here today is because it’s a pretty special place to me.”

“I get that,” Jiwoo says immediately out of reflex, not quite digesting Sooyoung’s somber tone. “Some places just have that kind of charm, you know?”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung smiles, opening the door for Jiwoo. “Some places just do.”

As Jiwoo enters the store, she’s immediately assaulted with the scent of jasmine - and again, it’s not a scent she would particularly associate with this kind of a store, but she doesn’t mind it. Racks upon racks of old cassette tapes fill the space, and an elderly woman manages the cash register in the back.

“Wait here,” Sooyoung tells Jiwoo. “I’m going to go talk to Mrs. Wong over there.”

Jiwoo nods, moving out of the way for Sooyoung to overtake her, and watches as Sooyoung laughs with the woman - who seems to recognize her on sight. Jiwoo is suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia, her heart aching for something she’s never even possessed as she watches them. Tearing her gaze away from the sight, Jiwoo browses through a random rack of cassette tapes.

“Everyday I Love You?” she muses, plucking a pastel cassette from the rack. “Sounds cute.”

“It _is_ cute,” an elderly voice calls out from behind her, and Jiwoo nearly jumps as she turns around to face the woman - Mrs. Wong - and along with her, a smiling Sooyoung.

“Sorry,” Jiwoo flushes, putting the cassette back in its place. “I didn’t mean to be intrusive.”

“Not at all,” Mrs. Wong booms jovially. “That one’s one of my favorites, actually - Sooyoung’s as well.”

“That’s right,” Sooyoung cuts in. “Jiwoo, I’d like you to meet Mrs. Wong, the owner of this shop, and Kahei’s mother.”

Jiwoo’s jaw drops. “Wait, Kahei’s mother?”

Sooyoung nods. “Yeah, that’s how Kahei and I know each other - through this store.”

“You’re going to have to tell me about that one later,” Jiwoo shakes her head. “But it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Wong.”

“Likewise, Jiwoo,” Mrs. Wong returns easily. Exchanging a glance with Sooyoung, the woman dips her head, making her way back behind the counter.

“So, Kahei’s mom,” Jiwoo comments.

“Kahei’s mom,” Sooyoung agrees. “It’s been a while since I last visited this place.”

“Yeah?”

"Yeah," Sooyoung affirms, looking around the shop with a sense of satisfaction. "You're welcome to look around a little if you want to get anything, but we still have one more stop to make before our date is officially over."

"Picture?" Jiwoo asks, gripping her phone a little too tightly. "We should take a picture, no?"

Sooyoung's smile dampens, the sparkle in her eyes dimming, mirroring Jiwoo's own tumultuous stomach.

"Yeah, let's do it," she says, her voice almost robotic.

Holding up the Everyday I Love You cassette, Jiwoo and Sooyoung pose for a quick selfie - which Jiwoo then selfishly makes her wallpaper - before the pair head to the counter to purchase the aforementioned cassette.

Mrs. Wong smiles at the couple as she rings up their items.

“I’m finally glad you settled, Sooyoung,” she comments offhandedly, and Sooyoung preens under her praise, her face flushing to a full, deep, red.

Mrs. Wong glances at Jiwoo, and Jiwoo flushes as well, ducking her head coyly as Mrs. Wong hands her the bag.

“Come back anytime,” she says warmly, waving the girls goodbye.

Bidding their farewells to Mrs. Wong, Sooyoung and Jiwoo head over to their next location.

"Where are we going now?" Jiwoo questions, kicking a loose pebble as she walks alongside Sooyoung.

"You'll see," is all Sooyoung's mirth-laced response consists of, much to Jiwoo's chagrin. Huffing in frustration, Jiwoo continues to kick her pebble along until the pair finally stops in front of a milk tea shop.

"We're getting boba?" Jiwoo squeals, her eyes curving in delight.

Sooyoung nods affectionately. "Yup, I wanted to close out today with the perfect twist, and I really felt like this was it."

Jiwoo bursts into the shop, her eyes sparkling as she takes in the abundance of bright colors and tea choices, nearly engulfing Sooyoung in a hug as she professes her undying love for boba.

"This is literally perfect," Jiwoo gushes, beaming at Sooyoung. "I literally love you so much."

Sooyoung stiffens slightly at Jiwoo's words, but relaxes as the girl bounds up to the counter, brimming with enthusiasm.

"I'd like a strawberry milk tea, please," she tells the boy behind the counter.

"Strawberry?" Sooyoung questions.

"It's my favorite flavor," Jiwoo clarifies. "You?"

"Just a regular milk tea," Sooyoung supplies, and the cashier totals up their order. Sooyoung sends Jiwoo off to find a seat as she pays for their order - to which Jiwoo protests, insisting on paying for her own drink - but Sooyoung shrugs her off with a laugh.

Jiwoo claims a seat by the window, exulting in the bright ambiance of the boba store juxtaposed with the darkening sky outside, and despite her moral quandary with the whole fake dating situation, Jiwoo feels genuinely happy. It's been a long time coming, if she's being honest - she and Sooyoung may not be that close, but Jiwoo has opened up to her, has allowed Sooyoung an enduring spot in her heart.

It's almost amusing, Jiwoo thinks, how quickly she and Sooyoung have gotten this close. There's just something so inexplicable about Sooyoung that draws Jiwoo to her, something unspoken in the way they interact. Something in the way they understand each other on a subliminal level, in the way that they slot together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle.

Yet, Jiwoo muses, despite all this, she really doesn't know anything substantial about Sooyoung. She hadn't known that the girl had a lasting friendship with Wong Kahei, of all people - and thinking about it, why should she? Sooyoung has hardly opened up to her.

"Jiwoo," the very girl in question plops down in front of Jiwoo, handing her a drink. "Here you are: a strawberry milk tea."

"Why thank you," Jiwoo giggles, sipping at the sweet drink, before letting out a little gasp. "Oh, that's really nice."

"Isn't it?" Sooyoung questions. "Literally one of my favorite places, I swear."

Jiwoo simply laughs, allowing the pair to lapse into a comfortable silence.

Jiwoo observes Sooyoung as she stares out the window into the empty streets, a sense of longing etched upon her features, and a pang resonates through her heart. Jiwoo really doesn't know anything about the elusive girl before, no matter how many dates - _fake_ dates - they've gone on.

"So," Jiwoo begins, bringing Sooyoung’s attention to her. "What's up with you and Kahei?"

"Oh," Sooyoung pauses, her smile tightening. "It's a long story."

"I'm here to listen," Jiwoo offers, her expression gentle. "I have all day, you know."

Sooyoung fixes Jiwoo with an intense sort of gaze, one that holds a certain level of trust, of vulnerability, and Jiwoo is simultaneously honored and terrified about what Sooyoung is about to divulge.

“I was a dancer,” Sooyoung begins, her tone soft and unguarded. 

"Wait, really?" Jiwoo interjects, her face aglow with wonderment. "That makes so much sense, your bo-" Jiwoo cuts herself off before she can finish her sentence and embarrass herself any more than she already has.

"Sorry, what?"

"Never mind," Jiwoo flushes. "Please continue."

"Well, uh, anyway," Sooyoung clears her throat. “All my life, I thought that was it - that I would practice as hard as I could in order to become the next Anna Pavlova. Korean Anna Pavlova, that is.”

Jiwoo leans forward on her elbows, enraptured by Sooyoung.

“Our first stop? Actually where my old studio used to be," Sooyoung elaborates. "It was dying - the owners had no money left to keep it running, and I was their only hope. And then I got into the accident."

Jiwoo gasps preemptively, garnering a chuckle from Sooyoung.

"You haven't even heard what my accident was," she reminds Jiwoo, but Jiwoo doesn't particularly care. A list of worst case scenarios running through her head, Jiwoo reaches out, grasping Sooyoung's hand in her own.

"I am so sorry," she says sincerely, and Sooyoung simply laughs.

"I'm touched," Sooyoung offers, "but the injury was hardly career-ending - I simply sprained my ankle. However, that meant that I couldn't participate in competitions for at least six months, and muscle atrophy weakened my systems. I technically could have continued to pursue dance, even after the studio was sold off."

"Sold off to who?"

"Kahei’s parents," Sooyoung smiles. "I was sixteen when it happened - so young and impressionable. I was initially disheartened by the closure of the studio, of course, but as I got to know Kahei and her family, things changed."

"How so?" Jiwoo asks, drinking in Sooyoung's every detail.

"I fell in love," Sooyoung says simply, and Jiwoo feels her own heart drop to her stomach. "I fell in love with Kahei, with the things we'd do together - from the cassettes to the days we spent skating, everything seemed to revolve around her. It was almost as if I was just a planet orbiting around the sun - I was insignificant to her. We were but friends."

Jiwoo must look especially downtrodden, because Sooyoung laughs.

"Don't worry, she reassures Jiwoo. "I was crushed at the time, yes, but we're great friends now."

"That's good," Jiwoo says, somewhat hesitantly, but an unpleasant feeling still curls inside of her. She's never disliked Kahei, but the girl seems a bit superficial for her taste.

"But anyways, I obviously wound up realizing that Kahei and Haseul were dating, and-"

"Wait, _what?"_ Jiwoo interrupts, her jaw hanging open. "Kahei and Haseul are dating?"

" _Were_ dating," Sooyoung corrects. "They're just friends now."

Jiwoo is at a loss for words. She can hardly imagine Haseul with Kahei - and neither can she imagine _Sooyoung_ with Kahei. That almost seems worse, in her opinion - Sooyoung deserves someone more open, more willing to give to her; someone like-

"Jiwoo?" Sooyoung jerks Jiwoo out of her reverie.

"Sorry, what?"

"Weren't you listening?"

"Sorry, I don't think I caught that last bit," Jiwoo apologizes, a flush creeping up her neck. Sooyoung simply smiles, repeating her words.

"I was just saying that I joined BBC because of Haseul," Sooyoung says. "I got a glowing letter of recommendation from her, and after I was taken as an intern she put me under her best employee."

"Me?" Jiwoo breathes, and Sooyoung nods.

"Her best," Sooyoung repeats, the affection in her tone nearly palpable, and Jiwoo's heart aches. For Sooyoung and her hardships, yes, but also for the time she's spent focusing on herself, on her own feelings.

Jiwoo has hardly considered Sooyoung's feelings at all, and it troubles her - Sooyoung is a very real person with very real feelings, and Jiwoo had neglected to acknowledge that.

But rather than acknowledging it in the moment, Jiwoo simply opts for a warm smile. 

"I'm glad you joined BBC," she tells Sooyoung.

"Me too," Sooyoung returns easily. "I'm glad you were my mentor."

"Yeah," Jiwoo smiles, entranced by Sooyoung's gaze, and they remain like that - staring into each other's eyes and smiling like idiots - until they're interrupted by the store employee.

"I'm so sorry," he says, breaking Jiwoo's trancelike fixation on Sooyoung's gaze, "but we close in about ten minutes."

Jiwoo startles, a blush working its way across her cheeks as she dips her head in acknowledgement, evading Sooyoung's gaze as she grabs their cups to dispose of them. She spends a minute lingering by the trash, waiting for her heated cheeks to cool, and the boy addresses her.

"I hope you enjoyed your drinks," he says, effectively startling Jiwoo. 

"Hey," he tacks on, upon noticing her state. "Are you okay?"

Jiwoo sighs, meeting the boy's gaze. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

"Okay, good," he exclaims, his eyes curving into crescents, as he extends a hand. "I'm Woojin, by the way."

"Jiwoo," she returns, accepting his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," he acknowledges. "So, I noticed you and your friend seem pretty close.”

"I wouldn’t say that we’re _friends-_ ”

“Oh, so you’re single?”

“Well-”

“Can I give you my number, then?” Woojin cuts her off, his smile growing a little too friendly. Jiwoo shifts her weight uncomfortably, glancing over at Sooyoung, who seems to be engrossed in her phone.

Jiwoo offers Woojin a sugary smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t think you understand-”

“I know this is unconventional, but I promise I’m a great guy,” Woojin’s smile widens, as he places a placating hand on Jiwoo’s own. Jiwoo recoils, her heartbeat picking up in trepidation.

“No, really, you-”

“Just one date?” Woojin tightens his grip on Jiwoo’s wrist. “Come on, we can get to know each other over something totally casual. Drinks or something?”

Jiwoo inhales shakily, desperately praying for a greater force to intervene, as she shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t-”

“It’s just one date,” Woojin emphasizes, his smile souring. “Come _on._ ”

Panic seizes Jiwoo as she desperately attempts to rebut. “No, I-”

"Is he bothering you, babe?"

Jiwoo whirls around in surprise to face a standoffish Sooyoung, her arms folded across her chest and an irritated expression crossing her features.

“Sooyoung- I-” Jiwoo stammers out, her eyes pleading. Sooyoung nods in understanding, her eyes softening, as she strides forward, firmly planting herself beside Jiwoo.

"Don't worry," Woojin chuckles, releasing Jiwoo, as Sooyoung snakes a protective arm around her. "She's all yours - I was just making sure the quality of our service was good."

"It was perfect," Sooyoung nearly snaps. "We're going to head out now." 

Pulling Jiwoo along with her, Sooyoung grabs her possessions, storming out of the boba place.

Jiwoo’s heart thuds in her chest as she follows Sooyoung, her breaths coming out fast and shallow, as Woojin’s grip lingers in her mind. She can hardly begin to process the events that have just transpired - only pure, unadulterated panic remains.

Sooyoung pauses, tearing Jiwoo out of her reverie, as she releases her hand.

“Jiwoo, are you okay?” Sooyoung asks, concern creasing her forehead, and Jiwoo takes one look at those dark eyes before breaking down entirely.

Sooyoung pulls her in without a hesitation, enveloping her with warmth as she lets it all out.

“Hey, just breathe, okay?” Sooyoung coaxes, rubbing soothing circles into Jiwoo’s back. “I’ve got you.”

“I was just- I was just so scared,” Jiwoo chokes out, burying her face in Sooyoung’s chest. “He just- I-”

“I know,” Sooyoung sighs, momentarily ceasing her gentle ministrations, as her voice hardens. “If I ever get my hands on him-”

“No, no,” Jiwoo sniffs, extricating herself from Sooyoung’s embrace as she collects herself. “He’s not worth it. Let’s just… let’s pretend like this never happened.”

Sooyoung’s face falls as she steps away from Jiwoo, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Sorry, I guess I got a little too caught up in everything. It was inappropriate of me.”

"Oh" is all Jiwoo can muster. She feels winded, a visceral sort of devastation coursing through her, but she somehow manages a shaky smile as Sooyoung hails a taxi for her.

"Good night," Jiwoo mumbles, giving Sooyoung a half-hearted wave before allowing herself to break down entirely.

Today has been a day of progress, Jiwoo finally decides, once she’s done wallowing in her own misery. It's been a day of self-discovery, of epiphany, and no matter how terrible she currently feels, Jiwoo knows that she's closer to Sooyoung than she's ever been.

She doesn’t know how to feel about that.

-

_"Hyejoo,"_ Jiwoo whines, stirring her apple compote. "Listen to me."

"I _am_ listening," Hyejoo shoots back, sarcasm lacing her tone. "And it's pretty obvious to me - you're both absolute idiots."

"Hey!" Jiwoo exclaims indignantly. "No, we're not!"

"The girl you are not dating literally swooped in to save you from a guy hitting on you," Hyejoo enunciates slowly for maximum effect. "And you got jealous of the prospect of her liking another girl. What am I missing here?"

"Context," Jiwoo huffs. "You're missing context."

"What context?" Hyejoo demands. "Context, my ass! You're literally just skirting around each other like a couple of cowards since neither of you evidently want to make the first real move."

 _"Hyejoo,"_ Jiwoo exclaims, scandalized. "What is _wrong_ with you? Sooyoung and I are _coworkers._ Well, we're coworkers who are fake dating, but that's basically just Sooyoung lending me a hand. And besides, anyone would have done the same for me in that situation - the dude was super creepy."

"Are you serious," Hyejoo states, her voice utterly devoid of emotion. "Are you actually being serious right now."

"Fine, just because _I_ have certain feelings doesn't mean Sooyoung does!" Jiwoo sputters.

"There it is." Hyejoo smiles, satisfied. "You have feelings."

Jiwoo flushes, busying herself with her cupcake frosting. 

"Well, yeah," she confesses, pouring her mortification into whisking the frosting. "How could I not?"

"Right?"

"Sooyoung's smart, and thoughtful, and there are so many different layers to her," Jiwoo sighs, temporarily pausing her whisking. "I could spend an eternity learning from her."

"Ew," Hyejoo responds, wrinkling her nose in disgust, "but yes. You, my friend, having feelings for a certain Ha Sooyoung."

"I do," Jiwoo acknowledges miserably. "And I hate it."

"Why?" Hyejoo questions, genuine concern creasing her forehead. "There's nothing inherently wrong with having feelings, Jiwoo."

"But not when they're for your coworker," Jiwoo sighs. "Especially not when you're fake dating her."

"Then ask her out for real."

"Are you crazy?" Jiwoo exclaims. "Why would I do that?"

"Why would you dance around her, uselessly pining after her with those giant heart eyes of yours until she finally notices?" Hyejoo challenges, and Jiwoo wants to scream.

"Hyejoo, I can't ask her out," Jiwoo groans. "Unlike certain people, I'm useless at being straightforward, especially with regards to my feelings."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Ignore them," Jiwoo says firmly. "I'm going to ignore my feelings."

Hyejoo clicks her tongue in disapproval. "Whatever you say, Jiwoo."

Jiwoo pauses, taking a moment to retrieve her cooled cupcakes from the fridge.

"I have to," she finally tells Hyejoo. "At least until Chuseok. After that, I'm free to ruin our relationship."

"You're not going to- never mind," Hyejoo cuts herself off, shaking her head, as Jiwoo begins icing her payment cupcakes.

"Fine," Hyejoo finally acquiesces. "If you really think that's the way to go, I won't stop you."

"Thanks," Jiwoo returns, not at all feeling thankful in the slightest.

"You're welcome," Hyejoo concludes. "If that's all, then…"

"Yeah, I'll see you," Jiwoo says, her finger hovering over the end call button.

"Bye," Hyejoo waves. "Good luck!"

"Thank you," Jiwoo says, returning Hyejoo's wave with one of her own.

She ends the call, feeling no less better about herself than when she began, yet all she can focus on is her cupcakes - and, more importantly, suppressing her increasingly hard-to-ignore feelings for Sooyoung.

The only issue is, Jiwoo doesn't know how long she's going to be able to hold out.

-

Jiwoo presents Sooyoung with the cupcakes the very next day - her ears a less-than-inconspicuous shade of red and her heart threatening to leap out of her chest as she hands the tin over to Sooyoung - and Sooyoung accepts them with a bright smile, thanking Jiwoo profusely for her effort. It’s almost as if she’s disregarding their incident altogether.

(It’s certainly refreshing to restart like this, but Jiwoo doesn’t know how she feels about this sort shift in dynamic with Sooyoung. What they had experienced isn’t necessarily something to be dismissed just like that, yet Jiwoo had told Sooyoung to drop it. In any case, Jiwoo will overlook any qualms she has - at least for the time-being.)

“They look amazing!” Sooyoung exclaims. “Have you ever thought of opening up a bakery or something?”

“Well, it’s always been a dream of mine,” Jiwoo confesses, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess I don’t really have time for it, though.”

“If you ever do, _please_ let me know,” Sooyoung emphasizes, her eye fluttering shut as she bites into the cupcake. “This is confectionary bliss.”

“Thank you,” Jiwoo blushes quietly, her stomach swooping. “I’m glad you like them.”

Sooyoung blesses Jiwoo’s eyes with a dazzling smile, a stray glob of frosting coating her nose, as she assures Jiwoo that she doesn’t simply like her cupcakes, she _loves_ them.

All Jiwoo can do duck her head coyly, avert her eyes, and tell herself to keep it together until Chuseok.

-

"Hey!" Sooyoung giggles, nudging Jiwoo. "You said today would be fun!"

"This _is_ fun," Jiwoo insists, balancing in her skates. She sticks her tongue out at Sooyoung, eliciting another bout of giggles from the girl. "See? It's easy."

"Easy for you to say," Sooyoung grumbles, tightening her own skates. "You've been skating since you were in the womb."

"That's not true," Jiwoo puts her hands on her hips. "Plus, you know how to roller skate. You should be able to pick this up in no time at all."

Sooyoung raises a skeptical eyebrow at Jiwoo, but doesn't express her dissent. Rising from the bench on unsteady feet, Sooyoung lunges for Jiwoo, grabbing her arm.

"Help," she squeals, clinging to Jiwoo for dear life. "I did _not_ sign up for this."

"Sooyoung," Jiwoo groans, guiding her to the lip of the ice, "it's really not that hard, I promise."

Sooyoung eyes her doubtfully, but allows Jiwoo to guide her onto the ice - and then immediately grabs onto the safety bar.

"Sooyoung, come on!" Jiwoo exclaims, skating to the middle of the rink. "You can do it!"

"No, I can't." Sooyoung's legs tremble with effort as she struggles to keep herself upright, and Jiwoo skates over to her with an exasperated huff.

"Come on, Sooyoung," Jiwoo encourages. "Take my hand. I'll guide you through the motions."

"Are you sure?" Sooyoung sizes up Jiwoo - whose frame is unfortunately much more petite than hers - as she quirks up a dubious eyebrow. "I'm not sure how well you're going to be able to help."

"You gotta find a rhythm," Jiwoo coaxes, extending her hand. "It's just like roller skating."

"Okay, but it's not _really_ the same-"

"Plus, if we skate together, we can match our rhythms and it won't be as hard for you," Jiwoo tacks on, considering using her infamous puppy eyes.

Sooyoung appears to be acquiescing, however - her frown has softened, her cheeks coloring lightly, and Jiwoo squeals internally. 

"Come on, you can do it!" Jiwoo exclaims, taking Sooyoung's hand in her own. "Are you ready?"

Sooyoung still looks unsure, and Jiwoo wants to be cognizant of her feelings as well, so she drops Sooyoung's hand, concern furrowing her eyebrows.

"Hey, if you're really not feeling it, we can always go to my place and watch a movie or something," Jiwoo offers. "I don't want to force you into doing something you're not comfortable with."

Sooyoung's features positively _melt,_ her eyes glittering with affection, as she reaches forward and grasps Jiwoo's hand. Jiwoo's heart rate spikes, her breath hitching as Sooyoung offers her a beatific smile.

"I appreciate the sentiment," Sooyoung giggles, "but I want to do this. Show me the way, Jiwoo."

Jiwoo beams in return, allowing Sooyoung to regain her bearings on ice, and skates ahead of her, teaching the girl how to transfer her weight as she skates.

"It's a bit like roller skating, right?" Jiwoo comments, keeping a watchful eye on Sooyoung so as to catch her if she falls.

"Kind of," Sooyoung mutters, hyperfocused on keeping herself balanced. "It's a lot more slippery, though. And cold. Obviously."

"That I can attest to," Jiwoo laughs. "I've taken many a fall, especially when I was younger. Nearly broke my leg once."

"Oh my God, why did you have to tell me that?" Sooyoung groans. "And I was doing so well, too."

"Sorry," Jiwoo giggles unapologetically. "You’re doing really well, though! Way better than me when I was first starting out."

"Yeah, well, you were also a- whoa!"

Sooyoung lurches forward, slamming into Jiwoo, as they both tumble onto the ice. A sharp pain radiates from Jiwoo's midsection at the blunt trauma, and she can barely find it in herself to sit up as she lays on the ice, gasping for air.

"Oh my God!" Sooyoung exclaims, rolling off Jiwoo. "Jiwoo, are you okay?"

"'M fine," Jiwoo gasps, offering Sooyoung a weak smile. "I've taken worse falls."

"No, really." Worry creases into Sooyoung's forehead as she helps Jiwoo sit up. "How are you feeling? Do you need to take a break?"

"I'm okay, really," Jiwoo insists, brushing away the giddiness bubbling up in her stomach at Sooyoung’s touch. "Are you okay?"

"Well, I did have a soft landing," Sooyoung admits sheepishly, and Jiwoo lets out a shaky laugh in response. Sooyoung's lips curve up into a smile, but not without a hint of worry tainting it.

"We should take a break," she announces. "It's been a solid five minutes and neither of us is in a shape to be doing anything but resting."

"Are you sure?" Jiwoo asks, scooting toward the wall so as to hoist herself up. "I think I can still-"

An unearthly scream escapes Jiwoo's lips as she falls on her back, Sooyoung gasping as the wind is effectively knocked out of Jiwoo.

"Jiwoo!" Sooyoung cries out, crawling over to Jiwoo's winded form. "Are you okay? Do you need me to-"

"I think we should probably take a break," Jiwoo croaks woozily, her sternum a hellfire of pain. "Don't feel so good."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Sooyoung's tongue darts out, running over her lips, as she surveys the situation. "Can you get up by yourself?"

"I'll try," Jiwoo pushes herself up, grimacing at the burning in her midsection.

That's probably going to leave a mark, she winces.

"I'll help," Sooyoung offers upon noticing her turmoil. Heaving herself up using the guardrail, Sooyoung then lends Jiwoo a hand. Jiwoo lifts herself up with Sooyoung's help, and the pair limp over to the benches outside the rink.

Sooyoung lowers Jiwoo onto the bench first, taking her time to ensure that Jiwoo isn't in pain, and it's all Jiwoo can do to stop herself from melting into a pile of lovesick goo.

Sooyoung is uncharacteristically gentle with Jiwoo as she unlaces her skates, undoing her own afterward. When Jiwoo goes to protest, Sooyoung simply responds with a melancholy smile.

"I think we're done for today," she says gently. "I don't want to risk you getting any more hurt than you already have."

It takes every bit of Jiwoo's resolve not to lean forward and close the gap between her and Sooyoung altogether.

"I'm okay, though," Jiwoo opts to pout instead. "I don't want to ruin things for you."

"Hey," Sooyoung crouches down, leveling her eyes with Jiwoo's, as she takes Jiwoo's hands in her own. "It's really okay, I promise. I'm going to go get us hot drinks of some kind, and we can go do something else. Preferably something that's more sedentary."

Jiwoo chews her lip. "But are you sure? I don't want to-"

"I'm sure," Sooyoung promises. "Wait here, okay? I'll get us some cider or something."

"Okay," Jiwoo finally acquiesces. "We can head over to my place and watch a movie, if you want."

Sooyoung flashes Jiwoo a quick smile. "That sounds fantastic. I'll be right back, okay?"

Jiwoo beams back, giving Sooyoung a little wave as she watches the girl's form disappear into the winter crowd. She can hardly believe she's here - that Sooyoung's going to be over at her place - and she's suddenly overcome with a deep sense of yearning. Yearning for days like this, for experiences like this, for _Sooyoung_ like this.

As Sooyoung returns with their drinks, Jiwoo almost believes for a moment that Sooyoung is her actual girlfriend. That they are actually dating, and that none of this is a ploy to get her mother off her back.

And as the couple heads over to Jiwoo's place, rosy-cheeked and drunk on the holiday spirit, Jiwoo allows herself to indulge in the moment. She allows herself to cuddle with Sooyoung as a basic Hallmark movie plays in the background, allows the lull of Sooyoung's heartbeat to merge with hers as their breathing slows, as Sooyoung drifts off. And when Jiwoo glances up at Sooyoung to ensure that she's fallen asleep, her plush lips tantalizing as ever, Jiwoo allows herself to imagine what it would be like to actually taste those lips.

She leans forward, Sooyoung's even breaths ghosting over hers, but chickens out at the last minute, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of Sooyoung's mouth.

Pushing her nagging sense of foreboding deep into her stomach, Jiwoo allows herself to enjoy this feeling - that of Sooyoung pressed up against her body, the steady rumble of her breathing soothing to Jiwoo's ears, the microcosmic joy of the rom-com penetrating Jiwoo's heart. It's an idyllic moment, a moment of pure, unadulterated happiness - but, unfortunately, also one constructed entirely of falsehood.

Jiwoo is well aware of this, but decides to ignore it anyway.

-

Jiwoo's dynamic with Sooyoung changes dramatically after that incident, both outside of work as well as professionally. Sooyoung is so much more gentle with Jiwoo, so much more relaxed, that Jiwoo is lulled into a false sense of security. She hardly notices the weeks flying by - at least, not until Haseul sends out the annual Chuseok greetings email.

It's only then that Jiwoo realizes that she has approximately three days until she has to bring Sooyoung home.

Sauntering into Sooyoung's cubicle, she greets the girl with a simple "Hey."

"Hey yourself," Sooyoung grins, causing Jiwoo's heart to backflip in her chest. "What's up?"

"I just realized that Chuseok is coming up in, like, three days," Jiwoo announces without much pomp, her face drawn. "We have a lot to discuss before then."

Sooyoung's smile falters as she reaches to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Do we have a specific game plan or something?"

Jiwoo sighs. "That's what I'm afraid of. We can never get too regimented, but going completely off the rails is definitely going to result in disaster of some kind."

"No, you're right." Sooyoung chews on her lip pensively. "What should we do?"

"Probably having a basic outline, and kind of go off of that?" Jiwoo offers. "I'm not sure, though. My parents can be a bit much, so make sure they don't catch you off guard."

"Yeah, yeah," Sooyoung acknowledges, tapping her pen on her nose. "We probably want to figure out a few basic details, and we can improvise the rest."

"Sounds good," Jiwoo nods. "So what do you want to start off with?"

"Well, we should probably figure out how much PDA we're going for," Sooyoung says without even blinking, but Jiwoo flushes, reaching out to bat at the girl.

"Sooyoung," she whispers, scandalized. "Why do you want to start with that, of all things?"

A smattering of pink dusts Sooyoung's cheeks.

"Hey, it's something we have to figure out eventually," she argues. "You didn't have to go and make it weird."

Jiwoo snorts. "If anyone's making it weird here, it's you."

"Hey!" Sooyoung protests. Shaking her head, she continues, "But in all honesty, how far do we need to go to sell it?"

Jiwoo's flush deepens, but she replies seriously. "Well, we'd probably have to hold hands at the very least."

"Okay," Sooyoung nods. "Anything else?"

"Um," Jiwoo fidgets uncomfortably with a loose thread on her outfit. "We'll figure it out as we go along."

"Cool, yeah," Sooyoung acknowledges, her face a raging inferno of mortification - mirroring Jiwoo's own face - as she rushes to change the subject. "So what's our story again? We should probably figure that out in case your parents press."

"Well, I just told my mom that we're coworkers, and that I asked you out one fine day," Jiwoo muses. "I tried to keep it as realistic as I could?"

"Sounds good," Sooyoung nods. "Any other relevant information I should be aware of?"

"Not that I know of," Jiwoo responds. "I mean, you do know when my birthday is, right?"

"Uh... no?"

"Wait, crap, I think we might have forgotten to cover the basics."

"We definitely need to cover the basics," Sooyoung agrees. “For starters, my birthday is May 24th."

"Mine's October 20th," Jiwoo returns, and Sooyoung gasps.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I would have gotten you something!"

Jiwoo waves a dismissive hand. "It's fine, I didn't even celebrate it this year."

"But I still feel bad," Sooyoung pouts. "You know what? I'm going to treat you to a meal after all this Chuseok business is over to commemorate your birthday."

Jiwoo preens under Sooyoung's words, her lips curving up as she nods. "I'd like that," she says, and Sooyoung returns her smile.

"I'd like that too."

The atmosphere gets a little too intense for Jiwoo’s liking, and she clears her throat, averting her gaze.

"But, uh, anyways,” Jiwoo changes the subject. “Favorite food?"

"Anything apple-related."

"Wait, I knew that one," Jiwoo says. "Mine's anything strawberry-related, for the record."

"No, I knew that, too."

"Okay, good," Jiwoo notes. "I don't think we need to go over coffee preferences, seeing as we both hate coffee... what else? Any siblings?"

"Older brother," Sooyoung replies. "You?"

"None, I'm an only child," Jiwoo explains. "Probably why my mom's so obsessed with setting me up," she adds as an afterthought, and Sooyoung nods.

"Makes sense," she speaks thoughtfully. "I feel like my parents would be a lot more involved in my life if I'd been their only child. Alas, I'm the disappointment child, so..." Sooyoung trails off, a wistful smile crossing her face. "I just wish things were different, you know?"

Jiwoo nods, her lips parting in order to respond, but Sooyoung’s not finished.

“I haven’t spoken to them in over five years,” Sooyoung laughs derisively. “Guess they really didn’t like that their only daughter wasn’t about to marry the man of their choosing.”

"Aw, Sooyoung," Jiwoo pouts, leaning into the girl with her arms open. "Come here, they don’t deserve you."

Sooyoung accepts her hug, her lower lip trembling, and an unspoken oath of solidarity passes between the couple as they linger in each other's embrace, neither wanting to be the first one to let go.

It's great, Jiwoo thinks, that they're able to do this. The connection that they’ve formed is almost tangible at times like these, where Jiwoo understands Sooyoung on a visceral level. Where Sooyoung genuinely opens up to her, allows Jiwoo to see her battle scars, her vulnerabilities, and lets Jiwoo simply love her for who she is.

It's less great, however, that this charade - with Jiwoo being overly affectionate, and Sooyoung, who's been playing along all this time as doting girlfriend - will abruptly cease after Chuseok. Jiwoo will be forced to confront her feelings, and no matter what happens, Sooyoung will revert back to her cold, unapproachable self.

But for the time-being, Jiwoo buries those thoughts deep inside of her, and allows herself to simply embrace Sooyoung.

The moment is fleeting, after all - Jiwoo might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

-

“Wait!” 

Sooyoung halts Jiwoo, her finger mere centimeters away from the doorbell.

“What?”

“I’m Ha Sooyoung, your coworker and girlfriend. You asked me out, and we’ve been dating for two months,” Sooyoung recites. “Your birthday is October 20th, you hate coffee, you love strawberries, and you’re an only child.”

Jiwoo nods, her stomach turning in trepidation. “That’s right.”

“Your turn,” Sooyoung nudges Jiwoo.

“I’m Kim Jiwoo, your coworker and girlfriend of two months - which happened as a result of me asking you out. You love apples, hate coffee, have an older brother, and your birthday is May 24th,” Jiwoo says in one breath, exhaling slowly as Sooyoung offers her a tight smile.

“Are we really doing this?”

Jiwoo nods resolutely. “Let’s go.”

Sooyoung reaches forward and rings the doorbell, and a few excruciating moments later, the door swings open, revealing Jiwoo’s mother.

“Jiwoo!” Jiwoo’s mother exclaims, pulling her into a hug. “It’s so great to see you again!”

“You too, Mom,” Jiwoo returns, extricating herself from her mother’s vise-like grip as she steps into her home.

Jiwoo beams at her mother, closing the door as she grabs ahold of Sooyoung’s hand. “Mom, I’d like you to meet someone.”

Jiwoo’s mother looks over Sooyoung, her smile brightening, as she squeals in excitement. “You must be Jiwoo’s girlfriend!”

Sooyoung dips her head in acknowledgement, a gentle smile settling on her features as she glances over at Jiwoo. “Yes, I’m Ha Sooyoung.”

“Oh, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Jiwoo’s mother cries out, crushing the poor girl in a hug. Sooyoung winces initially, but relaxes into the hug as Jiwoo’s mother continues on. “I never thought that Jiwoo would finally find a girlfriend!”

“Hey,” Jiwoo protests. “I am perfectly capable of finding my own girlfriend. Sooyoung, you tell her.”

Sooyoung laughs, somewhat nervously. “Well, I did end up with Jiwoo, one way or another.”

“Aw, you two are just too cute,” Jiwoo’s mother laughs, ushering them into the living room. “Here, why don’t you get settled, and then we can talk. I made some hot chocolate.”

“Are we taking the guest room?” Jiwoo questions, and Jiwoo’s mother shakes her head, confused.

“You’re sleeping in your room,” she says. “Is that a problem?”

Jiwoo glances over at Sooyoung. “Well, there’s only one-”

Sooyoung elbows Jiwoo, cutting her off. “Jiwoo must be embarrassed of her room decor, isn’t that right?” she asks, glaring at Jiwoo. Jiwoo’s lips part with understanding, and she furiously nods her head.

“Yes, that is _exactly_ it,” Jiwoo emphasizes. “I’m just _so_ embarrassed to show her my room.”

Jiwoo’s mother looks between the two of them, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure Sooyoung would like to see where you grew up, though?”

“I would _love_ to,” Sooyoung stresses, shooting Jiwoo’s mother an overly saccharine smile. “Jiwoo and I will get going, then?”

“Okay?”

Sooyoung smiles again, pulling Jiwoo with her as they head to her room.

“You’re going the wrong way,” Jiwoo hisses. “Go the other way.”

“Right,” Sooyoung mutters, steering them the other way, flashing Jiwoo’s mother a smile as they pass her. Once they’ve made it out of her mother’s eyeshot, Jiwoo detaches herself from Sooyoung, pointing out the way to her room.

It’s only once they’ve made it all the way to the aforementioned room, locked the door, and flopped on the bed, that they break the silence.

“What the hell was _that?”_ Sooyoung questions, lifting her eyebrows. “That was a total mess.”

“Sorry,” Jiwoo wilts. “My room only has one bed, and I guess I panicked a little. Nice save, though.”

Sooyoung groans. “That was _not_ a nice save - that was literally the furthest thing from a nice save.”

“...Oops?”

 _“No._ ” Sooyoung rolls over on the bed, burying her face in Jiwoo’s pastel sheets. “Your mom’s probably suspicious of us now. We’re literally a couple - why _wouldn’t_ we share a bed?”

“But that’s the issue, we’re not actually a couple.” 

“Your mom doesn’t know that,” Sooyoung shoots back. “And we don’t want her to know about it, either.”

Jiwoo’s cheeks tinge red. “Well, what are we supposed to do about it then? Is one of us going to sleep on the ground tonight?”

“No,” Sooyoung rolls her eyes, exasperated. “We’ll share the bed. It’s fine.”

Jiwoo eyes the bed - which now appears to have shrunk considerably in size - dubiously. “Um. Are you sure?”

Sooyoung sits up, brushing stray hairs away from her face, her mind made up. “You know what? Let’s deal with this later. I kinda want your mom’s hot chocolate.”

“Okay,” Jiwoo acquiesces, unsatisfied. “Why don’t we freshen up or something before going down?”

“Sounds good, I guess,” Sooyoung says, leaping off the bed. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Down the hall, to the right,” Jiwoo responds absentmindedly, playing with a loose thread on her sheets.

“Okay, thanks,” Sooyoung replies, pausing at the door. “Oh, and also,” she snickers, “nice SNSD posters.”

“Hey!” Jiwoo exclaims, her face burning red as she throws a pillow at Sooyoung. “I’ll have you know that those are special edition!”

Sooyoung dodges, giggling, as Jiwoo pouts at her, miffed. 

“You’d better not say a _word_ ,” she glares at Sooyoung. “Sunny was my childhood, okay.”

Sooyoung straightens up, dusting off her skirt, her eyes sparkling with mirth. 

“I believe you,” Sooyoung says slowly. “You seem like the type.” She doesn’t even make it all the way through the sentence without bursting into another fit of giggles.

“Go wash up!” Jiwoo exclaims, throwing another pillow at Sooyoung. “I have to use the bathroom after you!”

“Okay, okay.” Sooyoung puts her hands up, surrendering. “I’ll see you?”

Jiwoo simply lobs another pillow at her in response.

-

Jiwoo reclines back on the sofa, entangling her legs in Sooyoung’s as she sips at her mother’s homemade hot chocolate.

“This is amazing,” Sooyoung groans, attempting to down the drink like a shot. Naturally, the hot chocolate scalds her throat, and Sooyoung chokes, eliciting a worried gasp from Jiwoo’s mother and a simple roll of the eyes from Jiwoo.

“Sooyoung, please,” Jiwoo huffs, but not without a hint of worry in her tone. “Drink your chocolate slowly.”

“Sorry,” Sooyoung giggles, not sounding very sorry at all, and the girls collapse in a fit of giggles.

“Be careful, girls,” Jiwoo’s mother warns, but not without mirth lacing her intonation, and Jiwoo pauses her squabbling with Sooyoung for a moment.

“Hey, where’s Dad?” she questions. “I thought he’d be home from work by now.”

“Oh, he took the day off, since the Shins’ potluck is later today,” Jiwoo’s mother responds. “He’s currently taking a nap.”

“Just wait until you meet my dad,” Jiwoo grins mischievously at Sooyoung. “I feel like the two of you would get along.”

Sooyoung laughs. “I’m sure I would.”

Jiwoo reciprocates Sooyoung’s laughter, and they lapse into small talk, awaiting the arrival of Jiwoo’s father.

“Oh, there he is!” Jiwoo’s mother finally announces, setting her mug of hot chocolate down on the table. “Looks like someone finally decided to wake up.”

“Dad!” Jiwoo exclaims happily, rushing over to envelop her father in a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” Jiwoo’s father returns easily, his eyes curving into delighted crescents as he looks past his daughter. “And this is your girlfriend, I presume?”

“Ha Sooyoung,” Sooyoung extends her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Jiwoo’s father laughs, and the conversation turns to the basics, covering when and how they met, and the like.

“I don’t know,” Sooyoung beams, looking at Jiwoo. “There’s just something about her.”

“More like there’s just something about _you,”_ Jiwoo giggles. “I knew you were special from the get-go.”

“Is that so?” Sooyoung asks tenderly, squeezing Jiwoo’s hand.

“Absolutely,” Jiwoo breathes, and her father clears his throat.

“Hello, we are still very much here!” he says, waving a hand. Sooyoung and Jiwoo split apart as if jolted by electricity, a dusting of red adorning their cheeks.

“Well,” he continues on. “Sooyoung, I’ve heard a lot about your cassette collection.” Sooyoung’s eyes literally sparkle as Jiwoo’s father discusses his own cassette obsession, and Jiwoo can’t help but feel a smile come to her face as well.

“Jiwoo, would you like to help me prep the potluck desserts?” Jiwoo’s mother asks her, tearing her out of her reverie, as she beckons to Jiwoo. Jiwoo flashes one last affectionate glance at Sooyoung before joining her mother at the kitchen, washing her hands and donning an apron.

“So what are we making today?” Jiwoo asks, a nervous smile playing across her face, and her mother simply smiles.

“A tarte tatin.”

-

“You know, I never really thought you’d end up with a girlfriend,” Jiwoo’s mother comments offhandedly as she rolls out the dough. “I’m quite surprised, Jiwoo.”

Jiwoo flushes, stirring the tart filling. “Me too, honestly. But I really like Sooyoung.”

“I’m going to be honest, I thought you’d go as far as faking a date for this,” Sooyoung’s mother laughs, and Jiwoo nearly stops breathing. “Glad I was wrong, though. You and Sooyoung are cute together.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo laughs sheepishly, desperately attempting to keep her facade of calm. “Wouldn’t that be funny?”

Jiwoo’s mother momentarily pauses her rolling, simply regarding Jiwoo. Jiwoo squirms under her mother’s scrutiny, focusing on her stirring, until her mother finally speaks.

“I’m proud of you,” she finally says, smiling at Jiwoo. “I’m so glad that you finally decided to settle.”

Discomfort pricks at Jiwoo, but she smiles back anyways. Glancing over at Sooyoung - who’s currently seated on the couch, laughing with her father - Jiwoo’s smile dims. The scene is so overwhelmingly _domestic_ \- from Sooyoung’s clear, uninhibited laughter, to the genuine happiness reflected in her father’s eyes - that Jiwoo is suddenly possessed with an unwavering sense of desolation at the fact that this is all a lie, at the fact that she can never truly have any of this.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” Jiwoo’s mother asks fondly, and Jiwoo is forced out of her reverie.

“Yeah,” she responds, blinking back a sudden wave of tears. “I do.”

“You should tell her, then,” Jiwoo’s mother responds, not unkindly. “I get the feeling that you haven’t quite opened up to each other enough.”

“It’s only been two months,” Jiwoo says defensively.

“I know,” Jiwoo’s mother chuckles. “But life is short. Tell her you love her, and if you scare her off, she isn’t the one for you.”

Jiwoo forces a smile, shoving her inner turmoil to the back of her head, and focuses on her tart filling.

Her mother says nothing, just giving her a tender look, and resumes her rolling as well.

-

When Jiwoo realizes that the girl chatting up a storm with Sooyoung at the dinner table is none other than Shin Ryujin, she nearly does a double take. The girl is hardly the same dirt-eating twelve-year-old she’d known about ten years ago - rather, the twenty one-year-old Ryujin that currently stands before Jiwoo is polished, stylish, and very, _very_ gay: from her leather jacket to her purple lipstick, Shin Ryujin is the epitome of the Emo Gay.

Jiwoo must say, she’s pleasantly surprised by how Ryujin has developed over the years. Yet as she greets the girl, lapsing into the comfortable familiarity of their shared dialect, Jiwoo knows that she’d never be able to be with the girl. Ryujin is objectively a great person, and Jiwoo won’t deny that - to be honest, Ryujin is actually kind of her type - but Jiwoo knows that there’s just something missing, a sort of _je ne sais quoi_ that only one person has.

Ha Sooyoung.

Jiwoo’s thoughts circle back to Sooyoung as she watches the girl interact with her family and friends, slightly in awe at the girl’s method acting skills. Sooyoung simply _fits_ \- from her easy sense of humor to her ever-present smile, Sooyoung is a hit amongst the neighbor aunties as well as the children, everyone clamoring to talk to her.

Jiwoo is almost jealous of Sooyoung - _Jiwoo_ is usually the one who receives all the attention from everyone, yet Sooyoung is the evident apple of everyone’s eyes today. And it makes sense - the girl is literally glowing. Every part of her existence is something Jiwoo admires, from the way she likes to act all cool and tough to the way she _cares,_ wholly and unrestrained. It’s a principle Jiwoo would like to emulate in her own relationships, something she wants to apply to her life.

“Wow,” Ryujin sidles up to Jiwoo, jerking her out of her reverie. “I was not expecting your girlfriend to be this awesome.”

Jiwoo simply watches Sooyoung’s figure, nodding in agreement. “She’s way out of my league.”

“That, she is,” Ryujin agrees, chuckling. “I can’t believe I thought I stood a chance.”

Jiwoo whips her head around to look at Ryujin. “What?”

“You know, I was pretty frustrated at first,” Ryujin looks down, twisting the jewelry bedecking her fingers. “I’d liked you for ages, but all you’d ever seen me as was a-”

“Fourteen-year-old with a thing for dirt?” Jiwoo interrupts, a smile creeping across her face. Ryujin smiles ruefully.

“Yeah, basically.”

“Would it make you feel any better if I told you that I definitely don’t see you as a fourteen-year-old with a thing for dirt anymore?” Jiwoo giggles.

“Yeah, but still,” Ryujin jerks a thumb at Sooyoung. “My competition is _her_. I never stood a chance.”

Jiwoo glances over at Ryujin, then back at Sooyoung. “What if I told you that none of it is real?” she says impulsively.

“None of what?”

“What Sooyoung and I have,” Jiwoo clarifies, beginning to regret pitching the idea altogether, but Ryujin simply laughs. “What if I told you that we’re fake dating?”

“That’s not possible,” she laughs. “I mean, I don’t know about her, but you’re not that good of an actor.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so,” Ryujin assures her. “Besides, I hope you realize that most of us can read you like a book. It’s nothing against you personally, you’re just particularly obvious with your feelings.”

“Wait, _really?”_ Jiwoo stares at Ryujin, stricken. “I’m that obvious?”

Ryujin laughs. “Didn’t you know?”

“No,” Jiwoo confesses, heat rushing to her face. “I had no idea.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, don’t worry,” Ryujin placates Jiwoo. “And you’re already Sooyoung’s girlfriend, so it’s not like it really matters.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo laughs nervously, releasing a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “It doesn’t matter.”

Ryujin smiles at Jiwoo, allowing them to lapse into a comfortable silence, before Jiwoo’s mother intercepts them, calling Jiwoo to help bring out the desserts.

Jiwoo helps her mother carry their masterpiece - a beautifully cooked tarte tatin - to the grand dining table, the collective neighborhood gasping at the intricacy of the dessert.

“It’s for you, Sooyoung,” Jiwoo specifies, a light blush adorning her cheeks. “You know, because it’s apple-related? I never did get to make you an apple dessert for our last date.”

Sooyoung laughs awkwardly, brushing away the awkward stares following her. “Thank you so much, babe! You really didn’t have to make me something so elaborate, especially since we always bake together after all of our dates! Since I have such a huge sweet tooth!”

Jiwoo cocks her head, wondering why exactly Sooyoung is being so weird with her wording - and then immediately realizes that she’s slipped up.

“That’s right, babe!” Jiwoo laughs much too hard. “We just _love_ baking!”

“Isn’t that adorable?” Jiwoo’s mother pipes up, effectively breaking the awkward tension. “Jiwoo, do you want to cut Sooyoung a slice?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Jiwoo exclaims, busying herself with searching for a knife.

“That sounds great,” Sooyoung adds, and the clamor of the dinner party resumes. Jiwoo exchanges a harrowed look with Sooyoung, but they shrug it off as they settle back into their roles.

Jiwoo thanks her lucky stars that her family is so oblivious.

-

“So, uh,” Jiwoo stands in front of the bed, her hands on her hips, a toothbrush dangling out of her mouth. “How’s our bed situation going to work again?”

Sooyoung scratches her head. “Um… are we not going to just share it?”

“But, like,” Jiwoo protests. “Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?”

“Uh, no? We’re friends, right?”

Jiwoo chuckles nervously, gulping. “Yeah, sure, that sounds great.”

“Okay, cool.” Sooyoung throws Jiwoo’s comforter over, settling into her bed. “Join me once you’re done brushing your teeth.”

Jiwoo flashes Sooyoung a quick thumbs up, rushing to the bathroom to rinse her mouth out.

This is okay, she tries to convince herself. She and Sooyoung are just… friends. Friends who sleep in the same bed, and pretend they are dating. Yup, such great friends.

Yeah, no.

Jiwoo splashes cold water onto her face, trying to jerk herself out of whatever harmful spiral she’s going down, and wills herself to focus solely on penguins.

Yes. Cute, innocent penguins - the kind that _don’t_ share beds with their friends.

Jiwoo groans. She can’t do this.

“Jiwoo!” Sooyoung hollers from three rooms over. “Are you done already?”

“Coming!” Jiwoo yells back, forcing her intrusive thoughts away. She takes her time ambling back to the room, plastering on a smile when Sooyoung scoots over in bed, making space for her.

Jiwoo turns the lights off, climbing into the bed, but keeps as far away from Sooyoung as she physically can. To her absolute horror, Sooyoung scoots closer to her, and Jiwoo backs further away - all until she literally falls off the bed.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Sooyoung whispers, reaching over to help Jiwoo up.

“I’m fine,” Jiwoo mutters, increasingly thankful for the darkness covering her mortified flush. She once again settles in bed, lying stiffly next to Sooyoung. 

“So,” Sooyoung speaks up after nearly twenty minutes of silence. “What’s up?”

“Are you serious?” Jiwoo snorts. _“What’s up?”_

“Well, how else was I supposed to break that awkward silence?”

“Good point.”

“Yeah, so,” Sooyoung prompts. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know,” Jiwoo huffs, exasperated. “What’s up with you?”

“I don’t know, either,” Sooyoung returns, and the pair falls silent.

“I kinda want to talk, though,” she pipes up a couple minutes later, and Jiwoo nods fervently.

“Yeah, me too,” Jiwoo agrees, relief coursing through her. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Um, what about, like,” Sooyoung pauses, choosing the right words. “The awesome health benefits of apples?”

“Sooyoung, _no,”_ Jiwoo massages her temples. “We are _not_ going to have a conversation about how an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

“Your loss,” Sooyoung harrumphs, but not without eliciting a giggle from Jiwoo. “Okay, what else then?”

“Well,” Jiwoo begins after a lengthy pause, “not to sound all _I’m 14 and this is deep,_ but I really feel like some people just _click_ , you know? Kinda feels like a universe thing.”

“I get what you mean,” Sooyoung agrees. “I really feel like a lot of my relationships are entirely coincidental, and it’s like, _impossible_ to imagine what it would be like to _not_ get along with some people.”

“No, definitely,” Jiwoo nods, turning on her side to face Sooyoung. “Some relationships just _work_. For no apparent reason, but they work nevertheless.”

“I’m not mad about it, though,” Sooyoung replies, gazing up at Jiwoo’s ceiling. “I kind of like knowing that I met some of my favorite people totally by accident. You know, the universe being like, _wow_ these two would make bomb ass friends! And then setting us up together perfectly. I just think it’s neat.”

“So then do you believe in soulmates?”

Sooyoung clicks her tongue. “Yes and no? I really think it depends on the situation, because I really hate the soulmate trope present in media and the like - I think the whole _breaking the mold_ trope is stupid as hell. Like, why run off with some random person you literally just met when you have a perfectly good soulmate waiting for you?”

Jiwoo nods, lost at Sooyoung’s first sentence itself.

“And, like, don’t get me wrong,” she continues. “Knowing that there’s someone out there tailor-made to be your other half? I think that’s great! That’s fantastic, amazing, awesome, whatever. It’s just that I really cannot wrap my head around why someone would want to break that mold at all.”

“That’s fair,” Jiwoo says, at a loss for words. “So, um…”

“Sorry, I kinda went on a tangent there,” Sooyoung admits sheepishly. “Probably shouldn’t have just gone for it.”

“No, no,” Jiwoo shakes her head. “I thought it was interesting, I just…”

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering if you’ve ever met your soulmate?” Jiwoo mumbles, her voice barely audible. A while passes, and Jiwoo is convinced that Sooyoung hadn’t heard her, but-

“Yeah,” Sooyoung breathes, turning around to face Jiwoo. Jiwoo’s heart rate spikes as their gazes lock, much too raw and intense for either of them to handle, yet much too intoxicating to break.

“Yeah?” Jiwoo’s eyes drop to Sooyoung’s lips, ever-plush and alluring as always, and Sooyoung shifts closer to her, her tongue running over her lips.

“Yeah,” Sooyoung affirms, and Jiwoo can’t take it anymore. She surges forward, not at all sure of what she’s doing, and suddenly her lips are on Sooyoung’s. Jiwoo moves her lips with a panicked vigor, a desperate sort of passion dictating her motion, but a few moments pass and Jiwoo realizes that Sooyoung isn’t reciprocating at all. Rather, Sooyoung is completely frozen underneath her.

Jiwoo pulls back, utterly mortified, and wants to end herself, right then and there.

“I am so sorry,” she whispers, a horrified expression crossing her features. She gets out of bed, shame coursing through her, and leaves for the guest room.

Sooyoung doesn’t say a word.

-

They don’t talk about it.

The rest of Sooyoung’s time with Jiwoo and her family is excruciating - they perform the bare minimum for Jiwoo’s parents, but Jiwoo takes the guest room for the rest of the weekend. The idyllic facade of their relationship slipping away, Jiwoo is forced to see herself and Sooyoung for what they really are for the first time: coworkers.

They are coworkers, and that’s all they’ll ever be.

The ride back to Seoul is silent. Their interactions at work are brief, if not nonexistent.

Jiwoo quickly realizes that she and Sooyoung are over - for real, this time.

And nothing hurts more.

-

“Come on, Jiwoo, cheer up!” Hyejoo nudges an uncharacteristically drab Jiwoo, her overly enthusiastic smile not-so-subtly laced with concern. “We get to play with puppies!”

“Okay,” Jiwoo mumbles. Her current mental state involves a hell of a lot of ice cream, Reply 1988, and a bed of stuffed animals - but, unfortunately, seeing as she’s been forced on this team outing, the prospect of that occurring is highly unlikely.

(And she’s not actively _trying_ to be a cringe soap opera lead, okay - she’s just discovering that heartbreak really does suck as much as dramas portray it.)

Jiwoo trails at the foot of the group, Chaewon and Hyejoo encouraging her with positive messages, but she’s really not feeling it. It’s difficult for her to describe, yet this persisting feeling of perpetual devastation, of a constant weight never being lifted off her shoulders continues to afflict her in all sorts of ways.

For instance, Jiwoo would normally be delighted at the kind of opportunity she’s currently been given - it’s the season of perpetual hope and marketing opportunities, and as a result, their team is volunteering at an animal shelter. Jiwoo loves animals of all kinds, and they seems to love her - in fact, several of her own team members have likened her to a Disney princess in that aspect - yet Jiwoo is exhausted, mentally ill, and ready to jump off a cliff.

But as she tells everyone else, today’s just not her day.

However, she feels marginally better about herself once having entered the shelter. She no longer has to fake her positivity, as her natural charm with people uplifts her spirits as well. The puppies are adorable, a natural serotonin boost for Jiwoo’s declining mood, and things are going well.

All until Jiwoo catches sight of Sooyoung interacting with the puppies, her bright smile sending Jiwoo spiraling back to Chuseok, and it’s a solid hit to the chest.

Jiwoo is reminded of their previous conversations, of how perfectly they’d fit together - like pieces of a puzzle, two people destined for each other. Or so she’d thought.

Jiwoo turns away from the scene, blinking back tears, as she obstinately focuses on the puppies surrounding her.

They do absolutely nothing to dull the agony.

Jiwoo sighs. There’s nothing she can do about it - this is entirely her fault.

She might as well own up to it.

-

“We need to talk,” Hyejoo states. It’s approximately 3:23 in the morning, and Jiwoo is barely hanging onto her consciousness by a thread.

“What do you want?” she slurs, sleep-drunk and properly pissed. “It’s literally ass o’clock in the morning, and we have work tomorrow.”

“No, we don’t,” Hyejoo points out. “Christmas holidays?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right.” Jiwoo slumps down in her bed. “Well, what did you want?”

“To talk about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you,” Hyejoo snorts. “You’re a goddamn mess.”

“Shut up, I’m not that bad.”

“Yes, you are,” Hyejoo states matter-of-factly. “This entire situation has fucked you up worse than alcohol fucks with Jungeun, and that’s really saying something.”

Jiwoo lets out a derisive laugh. “Oh yeah?”

“I’m not joking,” Hyejoo continues. “You’re going to have to talk about it eventually, you know. You need that closure.”

“What closure?” Jiwoo cries, almost deliriously. “Sooyoung and I are over, okay? We were never even dating in the first place!”

“Then why is it affecting you so much?”

“Because I loved her!” Jiwoo bursts out. “I love her.”

“Well, _duh,_ but you gotta tell me what went down between you two that destroyed your relationship!”

“Okay, _fine._ ” Unsolicited tears form in Jiwoo’s eyes, and she wipes them away with a frustrated huff.

“I kissed her,” she says shakily, and Hyejoo draws in a breath.

“Oh no,” Hyejoo murmurs. “That’s- I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, well.” Jiwoo shrugs. “It is what it is.”

“You can still try to fix-”

“It’s too late,” Jiwoo spits out bitterly. “I can’t fix things anymore because she literally refuses to talk to me. Trust me, I tried.”

“When?”

“In the first couple days after we got back from my parents’ place. But it didn’t work.”

“Well,” Hyejoo says slowly, “do you think that she might have been embarrassed about it too?”

Jiwoo momentarily ceases her sniffling. “What?”

“She might have avoided you at first because she felt awkward about it too,” Hyejoo continues. “If you tried talking to her now, maybe things would go differently?”

“But how?” Jiwoo wonders aloud. “How would I talk to her?”

“Well, there’s always Haseul’s annual Christmas teambuilding party,” Hyejoo suggests. “You’re sure to run into Sooyoung there.”

“I’ll think about it,” Jiwoo mumbles dubiously. “Do you really think it could work?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure,” Hyejoo admits. “But it’s worth a shot.”

“Really?”

“Better to try than to never know,” Hyejoo offers, and something visceral in Jiwoo knows she’s right.

“Okay,” Jiwoo purses her lips. “I guess I’m going, then.”

“Good,” Hyejoo acknowledges. “And trust me on this, you’re not going to regret anything that happens.”

“I’m not going to regret anything,” Jiwoo parrots, attempting to regain her sense of self-confidence.

“That’s right,” Hyejoo goads her on. “You can do it!”

“Okay, okay,” Jiwoo says. “Thank you for this.”

“Yeah, of course,” Hyejoo returns easily, and Jiwoo hangs up, burying her head into her pillow.

She has no idea what this party will entail, but she can only hope that it will go well.

-

Jiwoo is regretting her decision to come to this party. She’s only here because Hyejoo’s somehow convinced her, and seeing as how the girl is currently attached to Chaewon at the hip, Jiwoo’s not even sure how _that_ happened.

(Then again, nothing past 3 in the morning ever results in anything good, so here she is.)

Sipping at her punch spitefully, she stares out at the sea of joy radiating from the festivities laid out in front of her: Yerim is showing Yeojin something on her phone - probably a cute cat video, if Jiwoo’s being realistic - as they giggle; Heejin and Hyunjin sit by the fireplace, simply engaging in discourse over a cup of warm tea; Haseul and Kahei stand at front of the party, keeping tabs on the alcohol consumption - well, mostly Jungeun, who’s being led to the bathroom with Jinsoul. Sooyoung follows in suit, giggling at Jungeun’s plight, and Jiwoo has never been so unamused in her life.

(Does a small part of her wish that it was her Sooyoung is laughing with? Yes, but Jiwoo will never admit it.)

So Jiwoo stays holed up in her little corner of the room, observing everyone and wishing she hadn’t even come, until Haseul assembles the entire team for the teambuilding activities - the main function of this party.

(Well, other than getting Jungeun drunk enough to spill all of her darkest secrets - which is hardly a difficult task, if the peals of laughter racking Jinsoul’s body are anything to go by.)

“Okay, team!” Haseul claps, calling the girls to attention. “Gather ‘round in a circle, we’re starting our game.”

As the girls gather around her, Haseul produces a soft velvet bag from within the folds of her suit, proclaiming, “Everyone grab a slip of paper!”

“Make sure you don’t show anyone,” Kahei adds, and a chorus of affirmations come from the girls.

Jiwoo shuffles forward, dutifully selecting her slip before heading back to her seat in the circle. Keeping it secure, Jiwoo slips the paper under her leg, awaiting Haseul’s instructions for the game.

“Okay, does everybody have their paper?” Haseul calls out, and the girls nod. “So on your respective slips of paper, you should each see the name of a person in the circle. Your job, in essence, is to describe them.”

“What are the rest of us supposed to do?” Yeojin pipes up, and Hyejoo shoots her a dirty look.

“Shh,” she hisses, and Yeojin dips her head apologetically, her cheeks burning red.

“The rest of us have to guess the person,” Haseul exclaims. “So, for example, if I had Hyejoo over here - and only _if,_ I’m just saying this as an example - I would say something along the lines of: photography squad, but the snarky one.”

The circle collectively laughs, and Hyejoo scoffs.

“Whatever,” Hyejoo rolls her eyes. “Let’s just get this on with.”

“Okay, then,” Haseul laughs. “Unfold your slip of paper.”

Hyejoo complies, snickering at the name inscribed on the paper.

“Well, this is easy,” she says dryly. “It’s my girlfriend.”

“Chaewon!” Yeojin announces proudly, and Hyejoo rolls her eyes.

“No duh,” she says, and Yeojin’s face falls. Yerim pats her on the shoulder placatingly, as Haseul addresses Hyejoo.

“And that is exactly what _not_ to do!” Haseul says cheerfully. “Okay, well, Chaewon, you’re up next.”

Chaewon dutifully unfolds her slip of paper, studying it for a moment before closing it again, her features utterly devoid of emotion.

“So?” Haseul asks. “Who is it?”

“It’s our only foreign member,” Chaewon states, and Haseul facepalms.

“Okay, you guys, you really have to be more obscure about this? It isn’t any fun when you’re literally giving it away,” Haseul huffs. “Kahei, please be more vague with your hints.”

“Whatever you say,” Kahei chuckles, a twinkle in her eye. Already having unfolded her paper, she says, “I used to date this person.”

It’s Haseul, of course, but the circle titters with excitement, wondering who the girl could be.

“It can’t be the interns,” Hyejoo muses. “That would probably be illegal.”

“Yeah,” Jinsoul chimes in. “It’s probably one of the older members, too. Maybe Heejin?”

“That’s a possibility,” Chaewon continues, and Jiwoo tunes the circle out. She and Sooyoung are the only ones not interacting - obviously, since they’re the only ones who know - and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Hyejoo.

“Hey, Jiwoo, who do you think it is?” she calls out, startling Jiwoo.

“Um, I don’t know?” Jiwoo stammers out. “Maybe Haseul?”

“No way,” Chaewon shakes her head. “Haseul doesn’t seem like the type.”

“Right?” Hyejoo adds, but Yeojin’s already shouted out Haseul’s name as the answer.

“It is me,” she finally acquiesces, and the circle just about loses it. Jiwoo simply shakes her head, tuning it all out, as the game continues. Kahei leaves to use the restroom halfway through the process, and Jungeun somehow manages to fall asleep amidst all the ruckus, but Jiwoo remains apathetic to it all, her face impassive, until it’s Yerim’s turn.

“This one is easy,” Yerim giggles. “She’s basically a human ball of sunshine.”

A chorus of “Jiwoo!”s come from the circle, and Haseul laughs, addressing the girl.

“Okay, it’s your turn,” Haseul says. “You know what to do.”

Jiwoo slides the slip of paper out, desperately praying that it isn’t Sooyoung - and then immediately kicks herself for jinxing it when the girl’s name stares up at her accusingly from the piece of paper.

“Well?” Haseul prompts. Jiwoo wishes she’d never been born.

“Um, I guess she’s nice?” Jiwoo speaks hesitantly. “And, uh, diligent?”

“Boo,” Hyejoo calls out. “Come on, give us something to actually guess off of!” The others murmur in agreement, and Jiwoo wonders why she even let Hyejoo persuade her into coming to this party.

“Okay, fine,” she inhales deeply. “She’s a hard worker, like I said, and, uh, she also delivers every time. She’s really good at picking things apart - I kinda wish I had that attribute myself - and she’s also a pretty quick learner.”

It comes out easier, rolling off the tongue like a waterfall. “She’s incredibly attentive, so patient, and does things for others when she knows no one’s watching. Her eyes are like little pools of warmth - I swear you can even see little flecks of gold in them if you look closely - and I love how it’s the little things when it comes to her, like that day we volunteered at the animal shelter! She was so happy playing with all the little puppies, I almost wanted to-” Jiwoo cuts herself off, realization dawning upon her. “I mean, uh. She’s… multilayered? Yeah. Multilayered.”

“Wow, okay,” Haseul laughs nervously, clasping her hands together. “That was a great description! Any guesses?”

Jiwoo blinks at the circle of people staring at her openmouthed, almost dazed. Her stomach swoops as her eyes flick over at Sooyoung’s stiff form, bile forming in her throat. 

“Well?” Haseul juts in, her cat-like eyes sweeping over the circle. “Come on!”

Yeojin’s half asleep against Yerim, her delicate fingers curled around Yerim’s cinched Snow White sleeves, as Yerim cards her fingers through Yeojin’s hair absentmindedly; Jungeun _is_ asleep, gentle puffs of air escaping her parted lips as Jinsoul pretends not to be terribly endeared by her girlfriend; Heejin and Hyunjin twiddle their thumbs, averting their gazes, and Chaewon and Hyejoo exchange knowing glances, shooting Jiwoo pitying looks.

But Sooyoung remains perfectly still, not a single hair unruffled, her posture perfectly upright and manicured hands folded neatly in her lap. Her lips are pursed in a lovely bow, her expression neutral, but Jiwoo can feel the waves of anxiety emanating from her - it’s almost palpable, the tension, absolutely unbearable, as Jiwoo fidgets uncomfortably with the hem of her dress.

And then Kahei walks in, her studded heels clacking on the hardwood floors, reverberating throughout the enclosed space. Ever the taciturn friend, she announces, “What did I miss?”

The spell is broken: Yeojin startles awake, knocking over Jungeun - and in turn, waking her up as well - as Haseul stares helplessly at Kahei, disapproval clear in her gaze. 

Jiwoo stands up abruptly, blinking back a wave of hot tears. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“No, wait-”

Jiwoo rushes off, tears blurring her vision, in search of the bathroom, as she hears Haseul’s disapproving voice lecturing Kahei behind her.

She kicks herself internally, wondering where she went so horribly wrong as to be in this situation. Locking herself in the bathroom, Jiwoo stares at her reflection in the mirror - her face is drawn and gaunt, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Shame courses through her, and she tears her gaze away from her reflection. She can hardly bear to face herself right now.

“Jiwoo!” an all-too-familiar voice calls out from the other side of the door. “Please, open up.”

Jiwoo is in no state to face Sooyoung, especially not now.

She splashes water on her face, forcing herself to calm down, as Sooyoung continues to frantically knock on the door. Drying off her face, Jiwoo opens the door, pushes past Sooyoung, and stalks out of the party with her head held high.

She makes herself wait all the way until she gets within the safety of her apartment walls before she finally allows herself to break down.

-

Jiwoo’s torrent of tears washes away the agony she’s left to fester, leaving behind an emptiness far greater than she’d ever expected. It’s vast, all-consuming, and leaves Jiwoo stress baking more than she’s ever done in her life.

Given that she has the week off due to the holidays, Jiwoo attempts to fill the void with her go-to: ice cream, K-Dramas, and stuffed animals, and she is proud to say that it’s-

Well, if she’s being honest, it’s really not working at all.

(Granted, it’s only been approximately fourteen hours since The Incident™ occurred, but Jiwoo doesn’t care. The anguish consuming her allows her to overlook such things.)

Jiwoo glances over at her dying phone, which helpfully informs her that it is currently one in the afternoon. Having forgone any kind of sleep for her Reply 1988 reruns, Jiwoo feels like a waste of a human being. Her apartment currently looks like a cyclone has passed through it, and Jiwoo, a Mostly Tidy Person™, is quite fed up with her own lethargy. 

Jiwoo is well aware that everything that has transpired has mostly been her fault - she was the one who antagonized Sooyoung, who proposed the whole fake dating situation, the one who literally kissed the girl without consent - and it’s awful to think about. 

Jiwoo - whose usual escapism from moments like these consists of rationalization and diverting blame - can hardly find it in herself to scapegoat Sooyoung, because this is _her_ fault, and she needs to take responsibility for it.

Sick of wallowing, Jiwoo stands up, surveying the mess around her.

Ice cream cartons litter the floor, the remnants of her stress baking strewn everywhere, attracting who-knows-what, as napkins litter the floor. Even Chuu - which Jiwoo had previously used as a personal punching bag, and then as a body pillow, because she has no self-control like that - lies on the ground, half-covered with tissues and other garbage.

Jiwoo is done with herself. She’s done feeling bad for herself, for wallowing in her stupid feelings for stupid Sooyoung and her stupidly awesome self, because none of this is even amounting to anything.

Jiwoo begins by picking up the literal trash - which includes ice cream cartons, tissues, etc. - and proceeds systematically, cleaning each individual part of her apartment until it’s all sparkling. Jiwoo doesn’t leave a single stone unturned - she even washes her hair, dresses up, and does her makeup, having read somewhere that dressing up boosts one’s self-esteem, or something like that.

She’s about to head out, treat herself to some meat, when the doorbell rings. Jiwoo isn’t expecting anyone, but she assumes that it’s Hyejoo dropping by unexpected just to check up on her.

She heaves a sigh as she unlocks the door, stating, “I don’t need your pity, Hye-” Jiwoo cuts herself off, her eyes widening at the figure standing before her.

“You,” the word escapes her mouth completely unbeknownst to her, a mere expression of the roller coaster of emotions she is currently experiencing.

Ha Sooyoung, in all her obnoxiously beautiful glory, stands before Jiwoo, her smile apologetic and her hands clasping a bag of some sort.

“Hey,” Sooyoung says gently. “Can we talk?”

Jiwoo considers pushing past Sooyoung once again, but a small part of her is compelled to listen to what Sooyoung has to say. For old times’ sake, at least.

“Okay,” Jiwoo acquiesces, her expression guarded, as she allows Sooyoung into her apartment. Suddenly feeling exceedingly grateful that she had the forethought to clean her apartment before deciding to head out, Jiwoo leads Sooyoung to the living area, allowing her to set down her bag and settle on the sofa.

“So, let’s hear it,” Jiwoo says. “What would you like to talk about?”

Sooyoung’s smile drops off her face. “Listen, I just wanted to start off by telling you my side of things. Because I’m going to be honest, I haven’t been completely fair to you.”

“Oh?”

“And, uh.” A smattering of red dusts Sooyoung’s cheeks. “In the bag? I tried baking something for you.”

Jiwoo reaches for the bag, almost suspiciously, as she lifts out a horribly lopsided mess of cream and jam.

“Um,” Jiwoo begins, not wanting to come off as any ruder than she already has. “What is _that?”_

“A strawberry shortcake, since it’s your favorite?” Sooyoung blushes. “Except it didn’t really go the way I wanted it to. But I still think it tastes good?”

Jiwoo brings it up to her nose, wafting the scent, and immediately recoils. “Um, Sooyoung-”

“You know what? The ingredients I used might have been expired,” Sooyoung fidgets with her hands. “This isn’t going well at all, is it?”

Jiwoo gestures at the trash. “Should I just-”

Sooyoung nods. “Yeah, I’m really sorry.”

Jiwoo suppresses a smile as she goes to dispose of the strawberry mess that Sooyoung has presented to her. She returns to the sofa, desperately attempting to keep her face impassive as Sooyoung continues her narrative.

“Well, as I was saying,” Sooyoung begins, running a hand through her hair. “I haven’t been fair to you at all. It’s just- I was a mess from the beginning. You kind of intimidated me, if I’m being honest - you had so much _energy,_ and everyone seemed to love you, and I just- I wanted that too.”

Jiwoo lifts her eyebrows, thrown off-kilter by Sooyoung’s confession.

“And I guess a small part of me wanted to get to know you, too,” Sooyoung admits. “All of the hot chocolate? That was me trying to get to know you without actually, you know, getting to know you?”

“I _knew_ something was off,” Jiwoo mutters, realization dawning upon her. “But wait - why the hot chocolate?”

“I’d read somewhere that apparently you can get to know a person through their preference in drinks.” Sooyoung evades Jiwoo’s gaze. “But I’m going to be honest - all I ever got from your beverage taste was that you’re sweet. Like, really, over-the-top, sugar cubes-with-powdered-sugar-on-top sweet.”

“I don’t really know how accurate that is,” Jiwoo trails off. “And besides, you should have just talked to me. I don’t think you realize how irritated I was at the fact that I simply could not seem to get through to you.”

“Wait, what?”

“No, for real,” Jiwoo opens up. “I was super pissed after the whole strudel debacle.”

“Strudel debacle?” Sooyoung tilts her head in confusion.

“Remember when I made welcome strudels for you, back when you first joined BBC?”

Sooyoung nods in affirmation.

“Well, I got kind of upset after you shared them with all of the people in our pod,” Jiwoo confesses. “Thinking about it now, it seems really stupid, but I was annoyed that you’d shared my baking with the other members of our team. They were for you, y’know? I didn’t bake them for the entirety of our pod.”

Sooyoung stifles a giggle. “Really?”

“Well, yeah,” Jiwoo admits sheepishly. “That was pretty stupid of me, I’m not going to lie.”

“Cute,” Sooyoung murmurs, and Jiwoo’s heart does a whole ass gymnastics routine in her chest. “But, um, back to what I was saying? I kind of feel bad, because a lot of what I did wasn’t necessarily for your benefit?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I agreed to the whole fake dating idea for purely selfish reasons, for starters.” Sooyoung focuses on a particularly interesting spot on Jiwoo’s carpet. “I didn’t do it out of the kindness of my heart - or really even for your baking, although that was a great addition.”

Jiwoo’s heart thuds in her chest. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I suggested all those extra fake dates because I wanted to get to know you,” Sooyoung says.

Jiwoo’s breath catches in her throat, but she smiles ruefully. “And here I thought you were just really dedicated or something.”

Sooyoung simply offers her a derisive smile. “I opened up to you, too - and I’ve never really been able to do that with anyone else. I got so attached so quickly, I wasn’t even able to fathom the possibility of you reciprocating. You’re just so naturally affectionate, you know what I mean?”

“What?” Jiwoo swallows hard, unable to believe her ears. “Are you…?”

“And you know, when you asked me to love you, I accepted,” Sooyoung pauses, looking Jiwoo in the eye, “because I didn’t have to pretend.”

Jiwoo’s lips part, only air escaping them.

“And at Chuseok? I had a great time, I really did,” Sooyoung sighs wistfully. “A loving family? That’s something I’ve wanted forever, and to have that with the girl I was already in love with? It was like a dream come true.”

“But it wasn’t true,” Jiwoo says softly, and Sooyoung nods, her smile melancholy.

“It wasn’t,” she agrees, and Jiwoo’s heart shatters for her. Jiwoo almost feels a sort of obligation to be thrilled - Sooyoung loves her back, for heaven’s sake, isn’t this what she wanted? - but rather, she’s filled with a sense of disillusionment, with a sort of yearning for what they’d had before.

“And when you kissed me,” Sooyoung begins, and Jiwoo flushes scarlet, “I was so taken aback that I literally could not move. I had no idea that you-” She breaks off, averting her gaze.

“That I loved you back?” Jiwoo asks. “That I love you back?”

Sooyoung’s head shoots up. “You love me back?”

“Unfortunately,” Jiwoo chuckles. “How could I not?”

“Well, uh,” Sooyoung pauses. “I was planning on asking you if I could treat you to that one birthday meal I never got to provide in an effort to fix things, but…”

“You’re asking me now,” Jiwoo says softly. “Do you want to go out?”

“Can we?” Sooyoung asks, and Jiwoo smiles.

“I think we should try it out,” she offers. “Take things slowly, and figure out what we are.”

Sooyoung nods, returning Jiwoo’s smile with a somewhat relieved smile of her own. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Sooyoung extends a hand out to Jiwoo. “Shall we go out, then?”

Jiwoo accepts her hand, rising to her feet, as she pulls Sooyoung up with her.

“Let’s go.”

The pair walk over to the door, but Jiwoo lingers by the doorframe, simply reflecting on what she has. Things aren’t great right now - they’re far from great, and Jiwoo knows it - but she also knows that they’ll get better, especially now that she has Sooyoung by her side.

So Jiwoo musters a smile, squeezing Sooyoung’s hand, and locks the door to her apartment.

She never looks back from there.


	2. ...And They Lived Happily Ever After!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing Sooyoung wants more in the world than to officially make Jiwoo her wife. 
> 
> (Or: An excruciating list of Sooyoung's many attempts to propose to Jiwoo. Fluff, puppies, and a fuckton of Homosexual Behavior™ included.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah lol this is basically just 12k of pure unfiltered disgusting fluff, happy valentine's day :D
> 
> today's theme song is [love so sweet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OZPwJdl_4w) by cherry bullet!!

Ha Sooyoung has never been a fan of Sundays - they’ve always been an inescapable source of clutter, her strict Christian upbringing ensuring her intense aversion to church, and perhaps worst of all, they’ve always inevitably been laced with the impending doom of the following Monday.

But over the course of the last five years, she’s come to realize that they’re her favorite day of the week - especially when she gets to wake up to the delightful aroma of her girlfriend’s cooking.

(It had come as quite a surprise, the first night that Sooyoung had slept over - she’d momentarily panicked when she’d awoken to an empty bed, but had just as quickly been hit with the sizzle of bacon and the warmth of vanilla.

Sooyoung had been about to call out to Jiwoo, but the girl had waltzed into the room before she could, her adorable  _ I knead a hug _ apron tied in a neat loop behind her back and her hair up in twin space buns.

“Oh, you’re awake!” Jiwoo exclaimed, a bright smile adorning her features. “Brush your teeth, I made breakfast.”

Sooyoung could only gape at the smaller girl’s energy, entirely entranced. It had never occurred to her that Jiwoo’s infectious energy was so potent - or that she’d be so enamored by it. Sooyoung had never been the type for much theatricality, yet Jiwoo was the exception; she loved Jiwoo’s excitable nature, her natural cuteness. Even the dorky things she did - they were all so endearing to Sooyoung.

“Give me a second,” Sooyoung had muttered sleepily, the beginnings of a smile teasing at the corners of her lips. “I need to wake all the way up.”

Jiwoo settled at the foot of the bed, extending a hand to Sooyoung. “Come on, you can do it,” she goaded. “It’s almost ten in the morning.”

Sooyoung begrudgingly conceded, allowing Jiwoo to drag her to the bathroom and dutifully brushing her teeth before making her way over to the kitchen. Jiwoo had nicely set the table and everything, clasping her hands together as a properly zombified Sooyoung settled down in her chair, instinctively reaching for the mug of tea placed beside the spread of food.

Sooyoung could feel Jiwoo’s gaze upon her as she speared her first forkful of bacon, lifting it to her watering mouth. Jiwoo bit her lip, almost anxiously, as Sooyoung chewed, finally washing it down with another sip of tea.

“So?” Jiwoo let out a nervous giggle. “What do you think?”

“It’s amazing, showstopping, spectacular, one-of-a-kind delicious.” 

Sooyoung delivered her verdict fully expecting Jiwoo to flush in the pleased way she always did whenever she was praised, and her prediction was spot-on. Jiwoo’s features lit up, a softness behind her gaze as she reached out to Sooyoung.

“I’m glad you like it,” Jiwoo said tenderly, and it was all Sooyoung could do to keep herself from melting right then and there.

Perhaps that’s when she realized. 

It was that lovely ball of warmth blossoming in her chest - that’s what cinched it for Sooyoung. The reason why she loved that day so much - the reason why she  _ loves  _ these days so much.)

And today is no different: Sooyoung enters the kitchen to find Jiwoo humming along to some obscure Babymetal song, hurrying to get all of the food on the table. She looks up, flashing Sooyoung a smile, and hands her a mug of tea.

“Hey,” Jiwoo giggles. “Nice to see that you’re up.”

Sooyoung leans forward to press a kiss onto her girlfriend’s forehead. “Wouldn’t miss breakfast for the world.”

“Aw,” Jiwoo makes a face. “You’re so sweet.”

“I know,” Sooyoung chuckles quietly. Taking a seat across from her girlfriend, Sooyoung digs into her breakfast: a slice of golden-brown toast with a side heaping of eggs, topped with a bacon crumble. She relishes every bite - she always does - as Jiwoo observes her fondly between bites of her own breakfast.

“So? What does today look like?” Sooyoung finally inquires, leaning back in her chair. “I kinda feel like doing nothing.”

Jiwoo sighs, resting her chin on her palm. “And as much as I would also love to do nothing, we have to get all of our paperwork in to the shelter.”

“Oh, are we dropping by later today?”

“I’ll drop it off,” Jiwoo assures Sooyoung. Upon noticing her somewhat downtrodden expression, she adds, “We’ll be volunteering in a couple weeks anyway, so we’ll get to play with Kkum then.”

Sooyoung noticeably brightens, her lips curving up. “I can’t believe we’re finally adopting our own puppy.”

“It’s been much too long, hasn’t it?” Jiwoo shakes her head wistfully. “I’m so glad that he’s finally going to be ours.”

“Remember how small he used to be?” Sooyoung scrolls through her phone gallery, tilting her phone so Jiwoo can see the picture. “Oh, how they grow up.”

Jiwoo bats at Sooyoung’s arm. “You sound so  _ old.” _

“No, I don’t,” Sooyoung sniffs, feigning pretentiousness.

“Yes, you do,” Jiwoo deadpans, her face serious. She studies Sooyoung for a couple moments, both of their features entirely impassive, until Jiwoo finally relents, collapsing in a fit of giggles. “I love how we’re already co-parenting a puppy and we aren't even-”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung cuts her off before she can utter the dreaded m-word. Jiwoo’s smile dampens the tiniest bit, and Sooyoung's own heart sinks, but she doesn’t want to get into it - especially not now. 

She doesn’t know what it is, really - she’s known that she’s wanted this for years, and it’s not like she hasn’t tried before, either. It's been years since Sooyoung’s first tried her proposal charade - more like  _ charades,  _ each one resulting in absolute and utter failure - and it's disheartening, to say the least.

But it's not entirely her fault - she's never been good at following through with her plans (something  _ always _ has to go wrong) and Sooyoung has simply fallen into the routine of habitually accounting for all possible contingencies when making said plans. With this, however, she's never had the bandwidth or the foresight to prevent them from failing miserably, so here she is: smiling widely at her girlfriend like the absolute loser she is, evading the topic as if her life depends on it.

(Which it  _ does  _ \- Sooyoung wants to spend the rest of her life with Jiwoo; she can’t risk messing it up.)

So Sooyoung simply offers her girlfriend an apologetic smile, squeezing her hand. “You only need to leave in the afternoon, right? Why don’t we do something now?”

Jiwoo shakes her head. “I have an editorial to look over. Jungeun’s orders.”

Sooyoung’s heart sinks, but she swallows her disappointment down, chuckling, “Well, can’t disappoint your esteemed boss, now, can you?”

“Unfortunately not,” Jiwoo frowns, gazing into Sooyoung’s eyes sorrowfully. “Really wish I could, though.”

Sooyoung chuckles, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jiwoo’s mouth. “I’m sure you do.” She sighs, running a hand through her unruly hair. “Ugh, I have to review the incoming assignments for our pod, too.”

“Hey,” Jiwoo taps Sooyoung. “We can sit next to each other on the sofa while we work-”

“-So we’re spending time together but still getting stuff done!” Sooyoung finishes excitedly. “That sounds perfect.”

“Let’s clear up the dishes and then get settled?”

Sooyoung beams. “Absolutely.”

And so the couple does just that: depositing their plates in the sink to deal with later, Jiwoo and Sooyoung grab their laptops and comfortably situate themselves on opposite ends of their sofa. Sooyoung throws a blanket on top of their feet to keep them warm, and finally opens her laptop to get started on her administrative work. 

It's slow, monotonous, but it is what it is, and Sooyoung knows she must endure it. To somewhat mollify herself, Sooyoung looks up every once in a while, stealing glances at Jiwoo's work face - don't blame her, okay? Jiwoo is  _ adorable  _ like this, with her lips pursed and the tip of her tongue darting out every couple seconds - and it's more than enough to power her through her mountain of work.

Sooyoung is in the middle of sending a scathing email to a colleague for their epic screw-up when she feels a tap on her foot. She glances up over her glasses, lifting an eyebrow at Jiwoo, but the girl seems to be entirely immersed in her own devices. Sooyoung shrugs, returning back to her incendiary writing, but she feels yet another tap on her foot. 

Chuckling quietly to herself, Sooyoung reaches forward and taps Jiwoo's foot with her own. The girl hisses - probably because Sooyoung's feet are perpetually freezing - but mutes herself, her remaining expresionaless. Sooyoung really must commend her - she's sure that this is the longest Jiwoo has lasted without breaking character.

However, it doesn't mean that Sooyoung's not going to try her absolute hardest to get her to.

Sooyoung presses the length of her foot against Jiwoo's, reveling in the warmth radiating off her, and simply observes her, repressing a smile, until she finally breaks.

"Why are your feet so cold?" Jiwoo finally gasps, hastily jerking her foot away from Sooyoung's. "I swear, it’s like sticking my feet in a pile of snow.”

"Probably ‘cause my feet are made of snow," Sooyoung rolls her eyes, but not without giving Jiwoo an affectionate smile. She closes her laptop, setting it aside, and scoots over to Jiwoo, turning so that they're on the same side of the couch.

"Hi," Jiwoo murmurs, setting her own laptop beside her as Sooyoung snuggles in closer to her.

"Mm, hi," Sooyoung wraps her arms around Jiwoo, leaning against the smaller girl's chest. Jiwoo dutifully lays her arm across Sooyoung, gently massaging her back.

"So, who was it this time?" Jiwoo asks, a tinge of mirth lacing her intonation. "Was it Nako again? Or was it another conflict with Sakura?"

"Sakura," Sooyoung says grimly. "She mixed up the files again."

"Don't be too harsh on her, okay? I and L are similar letters, and it's not entirely her fault - imagine having to speak Japanese exclusively, all the time," Jiwoo coaxes, tracing patterns onto Sooyoung's back. The gentle ministrations are all-too-familiar - Sooyoung knows them like the back of her hand. Three repetitive characters -  _ I love you. _ It's small, inconsequential, but it makes Sooyoung smile nonetheless.

"I understand it’s hard, I really do," Sooyoung concedes, in a much better mood. "But she can only mess up so many times before either Eunbi or I snap."

"You and Eunbi may be a little temperamental, but you  _ are _ professionals," Jiwoo reminds her patiently. "At the end of the day, Sakura always delivers, and that's all that matters."

"You're right," Sooyoung burrows her face into the soft folds of Jiwoo's sweatshirt, ignoring the discomfort of her glasses pressing into her face. "Sakura's nothing if not competent. I mean, she was hired for a reason, right? But I really do wish our media liaison had a better system of organization."

'You should come and work for LOONA Magazine with me," Jiwoo beams. "It's such a lovely work environment."

"Yeah, that's off-limits," Sooyoung retorts, but not unkindly. "No inter-employee relationships, remember?"

Jiwoo laughs, bending down to peck the top of Sooyoung's head. "Well, yeah, but I'm sure they'd make an exception. We're not your average disgusting couple, after all."

"Jiwoo, that's  _ exactly _ what we are."

"Okay, _fine,_ then join a different BBC subsidiary," Jiwoo laughs. "Maybe OEC? I'm sure Jinsoul would love to have you."

"Sure," Sooyoung snorts, and both girls lapse into a fit of giggles.

"Imagine us working together," Sooyoung gets out between giggles.

"You'd tear each other apart on the first day," Jiwoo agrees. "And Jungeun would just be sitting there watching it all play out."

"Yerim would probably try to get in between us and stop us-"

"-But she'd probably fail." Jiwoo completes Sooyoung's thought, gazing fondly at her. "Yeah."

"Yeah," Sooyoung agrees, and a beat of silence passes between them. It's short, but not trivial - the ensuing pause holds the kind of comfort that Sooyoung so often seeks in Jiwoo. The kind that Jiwoo seeks in Sooyoung.

Wow _ ,  _ it finally strikes her. She really can't imagine her life without the younger.

_ Then marry her, _ Sooyoung's inner monologue helpfully supplies, but that ugly feeling of dread bubbles up inside her at the thought. She doesn't want to think about it - she  _ won't  _ think about it.

Sooyoung snuggles closer to her girlfriend, allowing Jiwoo's warmth to seep into her. She has all the time in the world - she can worry about an official proposal later.

-

Unfortunately, that sentiment doesn't last very long - Sooyoung is constantly surrounded by things that remind her of Jiwoo, of how much she wants this, both for Jiwoo and herself. It’s seemingly ubiquitous - in everything she sees, everything she hears, everything she subconsciously says; Sooyoung can’t seem to escape it.

Even now, as she and Jiwoo are at their reunion volunteer session with the original Pod L at their local animal shelter, Sooyoung can feel the slim metal ring burning a hole in her pocket, just waiting to be given to Jiwoo.

Jiwoo, however, seems to be entirely oblivious to it all - rather, she tussles with Kkum, attempting to keep him on her lap, as she calls out to Sooyoung.

"Sooyoung!" Jiwoo squeals as she attempts to grasp the wriggling puppy in her lap. "Look, he likes me!"

Sooyoung snorts fondly. "Sure, Jiwoo."

Jiwoo pouts. "Hey, you don't need to be  _ mean  _ about it."

"Whatever you say," Sooyoung smirks as the puppy successfully escapes Jiwoo's grip.

Sooyoung clicks her tongue, opening her arms as the puppy eagerly crawls into her lap. Jiwoo openly eyes her with jealousy, her frown deepening.

"How come he only likes you?" Jiwoo folds her hands over her chest. "It’s not fair."

"I like you, though," Sooyoung reminds her patiently. "And as long as I like you, he’ll like you. Transitive property and all."

Jiwoo preens under Sooyoung’s words, scooting over to sling an arm around her.

"I should hate you," she sighs, leaning her head on her girlfriend's shoulder, "but instead, I kinda love you."

Sooyoung’s heart stutters in her chest at Jiwoo's easy admittance. It's been five years, yes, but Sooyoung’s sure that the butterflies will  _ never  _ recede.

"Love you, too," Sooyoung mutters softly, subconsciously tracing the words onto the toy poodle's back. Jiwoo meets her gaze, her eyes softening as they always do, and Sooyoung can't help but feel her heart swell in affection. 

Sooyoung really does want to marry her. She doesn't know what her enduring inhibitions are, why she always searches for excuses to keep herself from actually following through with it, but whether it be Jiwoo's perpetual obliviousness (which, don't get her wrong, is terribly endearing, but is unfortunately a hindrance to her) or some other insanely unpredictable circumstance (how was Sooyoung supposed to know that it would snow in the middle of March? It's basically spring at that point) something has always kept Sooyoung from popping the question.

Even now, the question is literally on the tip of her tongue - the other members of their pod are off in other rooms, doing their own tasks, and she and Jiwoo are alone. It’s almost the perfect time to propose.

Yet that tiny, insignificant  _ almost _ inhibits her from voicing her thoughts. She detests it, but unfortunately, there isn’t much she can do about her own cowardice, so she sighs, gazing into Jiwoo's gorgeous mahogany eyes, and allows Jiwoo to pepper her with kisses. 

"What are you doing?" Sooyoung laughs as the puppy on her lap stirs, presumably from the lack of petting.

Jiwoo giggles in between soft kisses, extricating herself from Sooyoung’s embrace as she lifts the puppy into her own lap.

"Stealing Kkum," Jiwoo snickers, eliciting a groan from Sooyoung.

"Hey," she feigns hurt. "Give him back!"

"Nope, he's mine now," Jiwoo sticks her tongue out, and Sooyoung makes a noise of protest. She lunges forward, tackling Jiwoo, as the puppy runs off.

"Hey!" comes a disgruntled voice. "Let's keep it PG here, folks!"

Sooyoung scrambles off Jiwoo, dipping her head apologetically as Hyejoo fixes her with a rather unimpressed stare. The rest of their former team stands behind her - some amused, some less than amused.

"Sorry," Jiwoo giggles unapologetically, and Hyejoo sighs dramatically.

"Man, you leave these two alone for  _ ten minutes-" _

"No, you're right," Chaewon interjects. "Just because they're going to be puppy moms doesn't mean they get to do whatever."

"Oh, let them be," Haseul laughs jovially. "We're here for the reunion of our pod, we had to expect something disgusting from them."

"Hey!" Sooyoung protests. "We're not-"

"Honestly, we're all just waiting for them to get married at this point," Hyejoo tacks on, and the rest of the team laughs. Sooyoung's body stiffens, however, as she glances over at Jiwoo, which appears to be virtually unperturbed.

Sooyoung allows her body to slacken as she laughs it off, but her eyes catch on Kahei's - there's an uncomfortable glint of knowing in them. Sooyoung knows she needs to address it, but she'll push it off for another time. Although she'd love to do it, Sooyoung knows that now's not the moment to soliloquize her undying love for Jiwoo.

So, once again, she buries that existential dread deep inside her, and instead allows herself to just enjoy what she has right now. Because at the end of the day, she's still adopting a puppy with the woman of her dreams - and Sooyoung couldn't ask for anything more.

Yeah, Sooyoung reassures herself. Everything’s just fine.

_ Definitely. _

-

Unfortunately enough for Sooyoung, things are only  _ just fine _ for about a week - the dreaded topic is once again brought to Sooyoung’s attention. This time, it’s courtesy of an unceremonious announcement from Hyejoo and Chaewon. Sooyoung’s already having a bad day: Sakura - this time with the help of Nako - have once again screwed them over, and Eunbi’s incessant yelling as really taken a toll on her. She’s enjoying her few precious moments of alone time in her office when an overzealous Jiwoo ushers the couple in. Sooyoung is less than impressed, to say the least.

“How are you?” Sooyoung acknowledges, smiling widely to mask the pain of losing the last of her break. “It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other.”

“Oh, yeah, we’d love to have you over for dinner sometime,” Chaewon chirps, a delicate smile gracing her features. “Plus, we’d love to have Kkum over too - it’s been forever since we’ve gotten to play with him.”

“Yeah, of course,” Sooyoung nods, resisting the urge to cry. As much as she loves Hyejoo and Chaewon, she can’t believe she’s losing her break to  _ this. _ “So is there anyth-”

“Hyejoo,  _ tell _ her,” Jiwoo whines, butting in. “What are you stalling for? You had no trouble telling the rest of the office like, five minutes ago.”

Sooyoung leans forward on her elbows her interest somewhat piqued. What is it that the rest of the building knows that she apparently doesn’t?

“Okay, well,” Hyejoo pauses, glancing over at Chaewon. “I guess Chaewon and I are married?”

Sooyoung’s eyebrows shoot up. “Sorry, you  _ what?” _

“Yeah,” Chaewon chuckles ruefully, holding their hands up. “We’re married now.”

“Wh- How- when did this happen?” Sooyoung stammers out, entirely bewildered.

Hyejoo glances over at Chaewon, her face drawn and pensive. “Hmm, I think it was last Wednesday?”

“I think it was Saturday,” Chaewon corrects, and Hyejoo shrugs.

“Coulda sworn it was Wednesday, but I have no perception of time any more, so…” Hyejoo trails off, shaking her head. “Well, anyways, you’re invited to our wedding par-”

“Wait, hold on, _ ” _ Sooyoung interrupts. “So, like, you’re married? Or are you engaged?”  _ What is even going on anymore, _ she adds internally.

“Oh, we’re married - legally, at least,” Chaewon offers easily, extending her hand out for Sooyoung to see. “See, we have our rings and everything.”

Sooyoung stares at them, her jaw hanging agape.

“I am so incredibly happy for you, and congratulations on your marriage,” she begins, attempting to keep the hysteria out of her voice, “but how exactly did this happen? And what’s up with this party?”

Chaewon glances over at Hyejoo. “So do you want to explain, or…”

“Yeah, I got it,” Hyejoo smiles. “So basically, Chaewon and I got piss drunk one day and I was kind of just sitting there like,  _ huh. _ I kind of want to spend the rest of my life with her. So I asked her to marry me.”

Sooyoung’s heart threatens to leap out of her chest. “Wait, right then and there? Without any planning or anything?”

“Well, I kinda just did what I wanted to in the moment,” Hyejoo laughs sheepishly, gazing affectionately at Chaewon. “We don’t regret anything, though.”

“Yeah, of course,” Sooyoung nods, her clasped hands beginning to turn white. “So, how did you get married?”

“Oh, that,” Chaewon laughs. “Remember how we certified Jungeun as a wedding officiant as a joke all those years ago?”

Sooyoung nods slowly, a little scared of where this is going.

“Well, we drove to her place in the middle of the night, asking her to wed us,” Chaewon supplies. “We weren’t even sure if she was awake, to be honest, but-”

Hyejoo snickers. “Yeah, right, she was literally watching Coffee Prince with her mom wine, like she always does.”

“Okay, true,” Chaewon acquiesces. “But in any case, Jungeun was not particularly thrilled to be interrupted by us.”

“That’s for sure,” Hyejoo giggles. “She nearly shut the door in our faces - thank goodness we’re such persuasive individuals.”

“So she ended up wedding you in the middle of the night?” Sooyoung asks, almost incredulously.

“Well, yeah,” Chaewon affirms. “We didn’t buy rings or anything, being on such short notice, so we used a couple of onion rings.”

“Jungeun had some leftover from her takeout earlier that night so we decided to borrow them," Hyejoo tacks on, laughing. “She wasn’t particularly pleased with  _ that  _ development either.”

Sooyoung nods slowly, attempting to understand the situation, and Hyejoo continues on with her monologue.

"So the next morning, I woke up, like,  _ massively  _ hungover, and I couldn't remember what had happened the night before other than the fact that it was important," Hyejoo laughs. "So I turned to Chaewon, who was still half asleep, and asked her if I'd missed anything."

"I was barely awake, but I looked her in the eye," Chaewon picks up, "and I was like, 'Hyejoo, we literally got married.'"

"I didn't believe her at first," Hyejoo cuts in. "I was kind of just squinting at my hand going like, 'But what about the rings?' And you know what she told me?"

Sooyoung shakes her head, mouthing  _ no. _

_ "You ate them last night!" _ The pair chorus in unison, nodding along with Jiwoo as Sooyoung stifles her urge to suddenly laugh at the ludicrosity of all this, shaking her head at the couple.

"Wow," she finally manages, once the ruckus has somewhat quelled. "That's certainly…  _ something." _

"Yup," Chaewon acknowledges, squeezing her wife's hand as she gazes into her eyes. A pang resonates through Sooyoung's chest as she observes them - that sort of affection is something she wants with Jiwoo, but it's only something she can accomplish if she proposes.

That's the issue - she doesn't know if she's even capable, but Hyejoo and Chaewon's whirlwind romance certainly gives her some sort of hope. No matter what happens, Sooyoung knows that she'll always have Jiwoo by her side. That they'll have their hands interlaced like Hyejoo and Chaewon have theirs now, smiling warmly at each other as everyone tells them they're sickeningly adorable.

If only Sooyoung could finally grow the courage to voice those four fateful words.

But she knows that she can't - especially not now, when Hyejoo and Chaewon have just announced their proposal. Sooyoung would never try to steal their thunder - she wants them to live their moment to the fullest. So, unfortunately, she remains at a stalemate, and-

"Sooyoung, hello?" Hyejoo waves a hand in front of Sooyoung's face, effectively her king her our of her reverie. "Were you listening?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Sooyoung's ears tinge red. "Could you repeat that last part?"

"Oh, they were just talking about the party," Jiwoo cuts in, and Sooyoung flashes her a grateful smile.

"Yeah, it's because even though we're legally married, we didn't really get to have a party or anything?" Hyejoo tacks on. "So Jiwoo over here has convinced us to throw a party in celebration."

Sooyoung eyes her girlfriend dubiously, but Jiwoo simply beams. Shaking her head, Sooyoung asks, "So when are you planning on having the party? And are you taking time off for a honeymoon?"

Chaewon purses her lips, trying to think. "Well, the party's going to take a while to plan, so maybe like three weeks from now? And as for the honeymoon, we're honeymooning at home, so…"

"Hey!" Jiwoo protests. "You should go somewhere warm! When else are you going to be able to go on vacation like this?"

"But why would we need to travel halfway across the world for a vacation?" Hyejoo questions, her voice entirely devoid of emotion. "I don't care where I am as long as it's with Chaewon, and if that's our apartment, then fine. We'll spend a week playing Animal Crossing or something."

Sooyoung nearly chokes at Hyejoo's uncharacteristically sentimental spiel, and Jiwoo actually  _ does _ choke, her voice going strangely high.

"Who are you?" she demands, grabbing Hyejoo’s shoulder. "And what have you done with the real Hyejoo?"

Hyejoo laughs affectionately, grabbing Chaewon's hand. "I guess marriage really does change a person."

Jiwoo's eyes glitter with adoration, and she clasps her hands together, nearly giving Sooyoung a stroke with the sheer level of endearment filling her chest.

"You guys are  _ so cute!" _ Jiwoo squeals, clasping her hands together. She turns to Sooyoung, her eyes imploring, as she asks, "Please give them time off, they deserve it."

"I'd love to, but you gotta talk to Haseul," Sooyoung chuckles. "I'm not in control of any of this."

"Okay, we know where to go then," Jiwoo proclaims, a determined edge to her voice. "Let's go!"

"Okay, okay." Hyejoo rolls her eyes as she's being dragged off by Jiwoo, but she mouths a  _ thank you  _ to Sooyoung before she's out the door. Chaewon follows suit with a quick bow, and Sooyoung congratulates the couple once again before she's left in the privacy of her office.

She sighs deeply, massaging her temples, as it all comes crashing down on her.

Chaewon and Hyejoo - the resident  _ how-are-they-even-together _ couple - are married.  _ Married. _ And Sooyoung's still here worrying about the perfect circumstance, like the loser she is.

She has to get her act together - she has no more excuses. She'll buy Jiwoo something pretty, something she knows the girl will love, and propose as she's all excited.

(That way, if Jiwoo turns her down, Sooyoung can always blame the gift. Totally.)

But in any case, Sooyoung is done waiting around - she can't afford it. Time is fleeting, obsolescence is inevitable, and Sooyoung would rather just do it and not regret anything.

She conveniently ignores the little prick of discomfort in her gut telling her that this may not exactly go how she’s expecting - after all, what’s the worst that could possibly go wrong?

-

Jiwoo’s obliviousness, Sooyoung quickly realizes.  _ That’s  _ the worst that could go wrong. Sooyoung stands before her girlfriend, literally ready to get down on one knee, but the girl disregards her entirely, instead chattering excitedly about her gift.

“Ha Sooyoung, oh my  _ God,”  _ Jiwoo exclaims. “You are the  _ best.” _

Sooyoung offers Jiwoo a sheepish smile as she’s swept into a ferocious embrace by the smaller girl.

“I knew you’d like them,” she giggles, and Jiwoo momentarily extricates herself from Sooyoung’s arms, taking a moment to inspect the objects of her praise. It’s a set of scented candles, each one a different holiday-themed scent, decorated with elegant ribbons and golden bells. They’re so delicate, so pretty _ , _ so utterly  _ Jiwoo _ \- Sooyoung had known from the moment she’d seen them that her girlfriend would love them.

“And you solved our biggest issue so far!” Jiwoo exclaims brightly. “We now have a gift for my mom!”

Sooyoung's heart drops.

"What?"

"A gift for my mom," Jiwoo repeats. "Y’know, when we head over to her place later?"

That’s right, Sooyoung realizes, internally kicking herself. They’re far overdue for a trip to Jiwoo’s place - Jiwoo’s mother has only been calling them incessantly since Chuseok - and are planning to take a Friday off and indulge in a road trip over the weekend. Jiwoo’s general approach to her mother has been to soften the disappointment with a shower of gifts, and Sooyoung is not one to disagree.

(Besides, she is well aware of Jiwoo’s mother’s affinity for scented candles - she’s experienced her collection firsthand, thank you very much - and she knows that adding to said collection will do nothing if not soften the blow of Jiwoo and Sooyoung missing Chuseok  _ and  _ Christmas. 

Not that it was their fault or anything - it’s just that they’d been so preoccupied with their new positions that they’d been working overtime for a solid two months.)

“We’re heading over to Cheongju in what, two weeks?” Sooyoung questions, pushing the ring (and her lingering disappointment) away as she cuts through Jiwoo’s excited chatter. Jiwoo glances over at Sooyoung, setting down the candle she’s holding, and smiles.

“That’s the hope,” Jiwoo admits. “I’m not sure, though - we gotta take care of a lot of things before we go.”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung sighs, settling herself on the sofa. “Kinda just want to forget about everything and watch a movie or something.”

Jiwoo walks over, plopping down beside her on the couch. She snuggles closer to Sooyoung, pulling a flannel blanket over them, as she turns the TV on.

“Why don’t we, then?” Jiwoo asks, a mischievous glint in her eye. Sooyoung raises an eyebrow at her, but Jiwoo grabs the remote and turns on the first generic Hallmark movie she can find.

“Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says gently, “are you sure you want to do this? I know you have that editorial piece to look over.”

“Of course.” Jiwoo speaks without hesitation. “I mean, I get to spend some quality time with you for the first time in who knows when, plus we’re both so busy - I just think it would be a great idea for us to relax so we can get back into our work headspaces later.”

“Okay,” Sooyoung acquiesces, still unconvinced. “But do  _ you _ want-”

“Yes, Sooyoung,” Jiwoo responds immediately. “I want to do this. For myself, yes, but also for you - and for all the times you’ve given something up for me. I know I don’t always address it, but I really do appreciate it. I appreciate  _ you.” _

Sooyoung’s lips part as she blinks, utterly taken aback by Jiwoo’s confession, but Jiwoo simply offers her a gentle upturn of the lips.

“Take a picture,” she says quietly. “It’ll last longer.”

Sooyoung gapes. “No, that’s not- Jiwoo- I-”

“I know,” Jiwoo murmurs, taking Sooyoung’s hands in her own, and Sooyoung’s heart swells in affection.

It’s moments like these that Sooyoung cherishes the most - Jiwoo has always loved so  _ loudly, _ so  _ wholeheartedly; _ she’s always been so quick to give Sooyoung her all. It’s always been about the grand gestures of affection, about those blinding heart-shaped smiles and sparkling eyes, about the sheer amount of love the girl can physically give her, and Sooyoung - who’s always been a quiet lover, with her soft murmurings and little ways of proving herself - invariably finds her gestures going unnoticed by Jiwoo’s exuberant nature.

But when Jiwoo acknowledges her like this,  _ validates  _ her, her expressive sepia-toned eyes enlarging as she engulfs Sooyoung in her tight embrace, the girl can’t help but revel in the warmth flaring up in her chest. In the affection welling up in the back of her eyes, the overwhelming wave of the emotions coursing through her.

_ Now, _ she tells herself. It’s the perfect save for her earlier screw-up - Sooyoung’s feeling all the right feelings, and Jiwoo’s all emotional too, and-

“I love you,” she feels herself uttering instead. “So much.”

Sooyoung hates herself.

But when Jiwoo simply offers her a bright smile, the unadulterated love clear in her gaze, Sooyoung finds it in herself to push down her failure to propose.

“I love you, too,” Jiwoo murmurs, pressing her forehead to Sooyoung’s. Sooyoung leans forward, capturing Jiwoo’s lips in her own, but Jiwoo pulls away, concern reflected in her eyes. She traces her fingers lightly over Sooyoung’s cheeks, her touch butterfly-soft and all-too-welcome.

“Why are you crying?” Jiwoo asks softly, brushing her thumb over Sooyoung’s cheekbone. Sooyoung reaches up to touch her face, staring at her dampened fingertips in confusion.

“I-I don’t know,” she mutters, a shaky laugh escaping her lips. “I’m just so… I don’t know.”

“Are you sure?” Jiwoo gently dabs at the wetness with the heel of her palm. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m not sure if there’s anything to talk about?” Sooyoung speaks haltingly, her heart pounding in her chest. “It’s just…”

“Yeah?”

Sooyoung smiles, tucking a escaping strand of hair behind her ear. “You make me really happy,” she confesses, willing down the heat rising to her cheeks. She half expects Jiwoo to giggle, to write her words off as overly cheesy and dramatic, but the girl positively  _ melts, _ preening under Sooyoung’s words.

“You make me the happiest,” Jiwoo gushes, her eyes literally sparkling. “Everything about you is just so…”

“Yeah?” Sooyoung breathes.

“Perfect,” Jiwoo decides, pressing her lips to the corner of Sooyoung’s mouth. “You’re so  _ perfect. _ ”

A quiet giggle bubbles up in Sooyoung’s throat as she regards her girlfriend. “I’m hardly perfect,” she reminds Jiwoo, but the warmth blossoming in her chest doesn’t falter. “Can’t cook for the life of me.”

_ Can’t propose to Jiwoo for the life of her, either. _

“But I can,” Jiwoo returns easily. She pauses, nearly blinding Sooyoung with a thousand-watt smile, as she snuggles in closer to Sooyoung. “You’re perfect for  _ me.  _ That good enough for you?”

“Fine,” Sooyoung relents, wrapping an arm around Jiwoo. “But you’re perfect for me, too.”

“That, I am,” Jiwoo giggles. “Now come on, we gotta focus on the movie.”

“Please.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Neither of us even know what’s going on - we’ve literally just been sitting here making googly eyes at each other for the last hour.”

Jiwoo bats at Sooyoung, an uncharacteristic expression of coyness. “Stop,” she whines. “It’s literally been what, five years? How are we  _ still _ in this phase?”

Sooyoung just smiles indulgently at her girlfriend, her eyes misting ever-so-slightly. “Honestly? Never hope we move out of it.”

_ “You,” _ Jiwoo mutters under her breath, but presses a kiss to Sooyoung’s cheek nevertheless, “are the absolute  _ worst.” _

“I know,” Sooyoung grins, and dodges as Jiwoo bats at her. “Hey, watch it, Kkum-” Sooyoung is abruptly cut off as her puppy leaps into her lap, smothering her in slobber and affection. 

Jiwoo giggles. “Guess he must have woken up with all of our chatter, huh?”

“Something like that,” Sooyoung grunts, struggling to calm the overzealous poodle squirming around in her lap. Kkum yips in protest, finally settling in Sooyoung’s lap as she strokes his curly fur.

“Have we figured out a home for Kkum while we’re at my parents’?” Jiwoo asks, fondness reflected in her eyes as she observes her girlfriend.

“Ah, that’s right,” Sooyoung acknowledges, and Kkum whimpers, almost knowingly. “We were going to ask Hyejoo and Chaewon, right? Worst case, we can always ask Kahei’s family.”

“Hyejoo and Chaewon will be just fine,” Jiwoo hums in response. “Gotta double check that they have everything they need, though. Hyejoo can be a little… absentminded?”

Sooyoung quirks up an eyebrow. “Are we sure that we want to entrust them with Kkum?”

“I mean, yeah,” Jiwoo pauses. “They aren’t, y’know,  _ incapable _ or anything. They’ll love him just as much as we do. It’s just that they can be a little spontaneous.”

“Spontaneous,” Sooyoung parrots slowly, feeling the word in her mouth. “Yeah.”

“Kkum will be just fine,” Jiwoo assures Sooyoung. “I just gotta prep them ahead of time is all.”

“Whatever you say,” Sooyoung shrugs, reaching for the remote. “Should we restart the movie?”

“Why don’t we watch something else altogether?” Jiwoo suggests.

“Like what?”

“Something cute and chick flick-y.”

Sooyoung groans. “But we’ve already seen like, every cute chick flick in existence.”

“Fine, put whatever you want then,” Jiwoo giggles. “As long as it’s not-”

“Horror? Yeah, got it.” Sooyoung flips through the channels, painfully aware of Jiwoo’s doting gaze upon her. She finally stops at a themed baking show, reveling in Jiwoo’s overwhelming approval of Sooyoung’s choice.

And as she reclines beside Jiwoo, Sooyoung sinks into the inevitable lull of this - the domesticity, the idyll, the  _ warmth  _ enveloping her.

After Cheongju, she reminds herself. That's when she'll do it for real - after she gets Jiwoo's mother’s blessing.

(She only hopes that it'll be enough.)

-

"Okay, do we have everything we need?" Sooyoung hollers from the bathroom. "I've got toiletries, you've got clothes, and-"

"Hyejoo and Chaewon have Kkum!" Jiwoo yells back from their bedroom. "That's everything!"

Sooyoung pokes her head into the bedroom, the toiletry bag clutched in her hands. "So we're all set?"

Jiwoo offers her a gentle smile. "Yup,” she says, taking the bag from Sooyoung and neatly packing it beside their other things. "Time to hit the road."

"Wait, wait," Sooyoung pauses. "Do we have our road trip playlist?"

Jiwoo's face colors sheepishly. "Well, I do have my Babymetal-"

"Alright, I'll grab the cassettes," Sooyoung announces with a wink. "We can blast  _ Everyday I Love You." _

"I was going to protest, but you saved it," Jiwoo giggles, pressing a light kiss to Sooyoung's cheek. "Good thinking on your part."

"Why, thank you," Sooyoung plays along, a light laugh of her own escaping her lips. She smiles at her girlfriend, allowing contentment to fill her, to abate her ever-growing anxiety about the proposal.

Sooyoung might as well enjoy the time she has while it lasts.

-

Sooyoung resists the urge to fall asleep on her punch as she stands alone at the edge of the potluck, manning the punch bowl because  _ some kids  _ \- read: Mrs. Hwang's five-year-old grandkids - can't keep their hands to themselves, which means that unfortunately, some poor schmuck has to keep an eye over the many breakable items in the twins’ line of sight. Especially the large glass punch bowl.

Seeing as she's the resident Lovergirl™ trying to impress a certain someone's mother, that poor schmuck turns out to be Sooyoung.

Normally, she wouldn't mind it - if she's being honest, she'd totally take any chance to put herself in good terms with Jiwoo's mother - but in her current state, where she's driven for six hours, slept for approximately one, and hadn't had any real nourishment in a week, Sooyoung can't handle it anymore.

She's about ready to call it quits altogether until she catches sight of Jiwoo entertaining Mrs. Hwang's dreaded grandchildren, using her infectious smile and effortless energy to keep up with them, and Sooyoung simply pauses for a moment. Allows the domesticity of the scene to touch her heart - to fill her with an inexplicable sense of longing, and of peace.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo are in it for life. That's why she's currently distributing punch, and why Jiwoo is keeping the little devil incarnates occupied. Because they love each other, and because they're willing to make that sacrifice.

Something in Sooyoung catches. Marriage is all she has left, it's all she needs to be fulfilled. She  _ will _ propose once she has a chance to obtain Jiwoo's mother's approval.

"Hey." A soft voice breaks Sooyoung's spiraling train of thought. She startles initially, but relaxes as she sees a familiar face.

"Ryujin," Sooyoung greets warmly. "It's lovely to see you."

Ryujin offers her a sheepish grin. "Right back at you."

"So, how have things been?" Sooyoung leans in conspiratorially. "Any updates on that girl you were talking about the last time Jiwoo and I came over?"

Ryujin's ears flush, and Sooyoung grins, knowing exactly how this is going.

"Well, um." Ryujin coughs. "I may or may not have just decided to go for it and ask her out? So, um, I guess we're girlfriends now?"

Sooyoung gasps. "Oh my God, is she here? That’s so adorable, shut  _ up." _

Ryujin blushes quietly, gesturing to a slender girl mingling with the resident ahjummas of the neighborhood, laughing uncomfortably as they pinch her cheeks.

"Hwang Yeji," she says, and Sooyoung gives her a sharp look.

"As in devil-Hwang-twins Hwang?"

"The very same," Ryujin sighs. "She's not as unhinged as they are, I promise."

"I believe you," Sooyoung chuckles. "I'm glad you have her, though. Have you told Jiwoo yet?"

"I'm waiting for the right moment," Ryujin admits, her gaze downcast. "I don't know what it is, I just-"

"I get it," Sooyoung says softly. "Jiwoo still gets me tongue-tied, and I've lived with her for five years."

A beat of silence passes between them, until Ryujin finally speaks up.

"You know what's funny?" Ryujin suddenly speaks.

Sooyoung glances over at her. "Yeah?"

"Jiwoo actually told me that you were fake dating," Ryujin laughs, but Sooyoung freezes.

"What?"

"It was a while ago, back when you first came home for Chuseok," Ryujin explains. "Thought it was ridiculous though, there's no way you could have been pretending. I mean, just look at you now, right?"

"Yeah," Sooyoung laughs, albeit somewhat uneasily. "I wonder what she was thinking."

"Probably that she wants to marry you," Ryujin chortles, but immediately cuts herself off when she sees Sooyoung stiffen. "Oh," she continues in a softer voice, reaching out to Sooyoung, "I didn't realize…"

"I'm waiting for her mom’s blessing, anyway," Sooyoung laughs derisively. "So really, don't worry about it. It'll happen soon."

"I wish you the best of luck," Ryujin speaks sincerely. "Not that you'll need it, though - y'all are practically married already. Have been for the last five years."

Sooyoung offers Ryujin a tired smile, but one of genuine gratitude. "Thank you, really." 

"Of course," Ryujin returns easily. "Looking forward to your wedding!"

Sooyoung chuckles. "That's only  _ if _ she actually accepts my proposal."

"Oh, don't be silly - of  _ course  _ she will." Ryujin waves a dismissive hand. "You're Jiwoo and Sooyoung - you're practically soulmates."

Sooyoung laughs. "That, we are."

Ryujin smiles in return, and Sooyoung can't help but feel emboldened by her words. Ryujin's right - once she gets the approval of Jiwoo's mother, she'll just go for it. Live her life to its fullest with the woman she loves.

All traces of her former exhaustion gone, Sooyoung allows herself to melt into the sphere of joy, the microcosm of sparkling lights and sparkling wine, the laughter and the cheers that make up Jiwoo's family potluck. 

Because at the end of the day, Jiwoo is  _ hers, _ and nothing can change that.

-

It nearly takes two days for Sooyoung to get time alone with Jiwoo’s mother, and it only happens because Sooyoung nearly kicks Jiwoo out of her own house.

“Ryujin’s been  _ dying _ to talk to you,” Sooyoung insists, ushering Jiwoo to the door. “She has some important news.”

Jiwoo lifts an eyebrow. “Okay, but why don’t you-”

“You and Ryujin need to talk!” Sooyoung interrupts cheerfully. “We can relax later!”

“That’s not what I was going to-”

“Bye!” Sooyoung nearly shouts, closing the door behind a bewildered Jiwoo. She slumps against the door, her limbs slackening, before finally gathering herself with a firm sort of resolve.

She’s going to make the best of this time - she’s going to march right up to Jiwoo’s mother, look her squarely in the eye, and ask for her blessing. Because Sooyoung is strong, and she is  _ courageous, _ and-

Nope, nope, nope, she can’t do this.

Sooyoung paces around anxiously in Jiwoo’s room, resisting the urge to throw up. She doesn’t know why this is so nerve-racking - seriously, even her interview with BBC went easier than this - but it’s terrible nonetheless; Sooyoung is considering forgoing all plans altogether and not asking Jiwoo to marry her at all.

But she  _ can’t  _ do that, she groans. She so desperately yearns for that kind of closeness with Jiwoo - the only kind she can get with marriage.

It’s okay, Sooyoung tells herself. She just needs to somehow bring the topic up casually, and then ask for the blessing. No big deal.

When Sooyoung later heads downstairs for lunch, a nervous smile gracing her features, Jiwoo’s mother greets her with a wide smile and a hug, asking her to set the table as she lights some incense near a photo of Jiwoo’s father. A moment of silence passes in memory of Jiwoo’s father, and Jiwoo’s mother soon makes her way over to the table with the rest of the food. As the meal progresses, their conversation flows easily, the food filling Sooyoung with warmth, but the inevitable thrum of dread keeps her jittery and filled with anxiety.

Jiwoo’s mother nearly brings it up - talking about her own marriage with Jiwoo’s father, she voices her desire for her daughter to settle, and Sooyoung nearly breaks then and there. But the words lodge themselves in her throat, and like the pathetic loser she is, and Sooyoung allows Jiwoo’s mother to change the topic.

It’s only when Sooyoung’s mother is about to check in on Jiwoo - who has been at Ryujin’s for a surprising amount of time - does Sooyoung finally crack, shouting a panicked “Wait!” at Jiwoo’s unsuspecting mother.

“Sooyoung!” Jiwoo’s mother exclaims, putting a hand over her heart. “You scared me, are you okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Sooyoung dips her head, her cheeks flaring scarlet. “But I need to talk to you.”

“Is that not what we were-  _ oh, _ is it-” Jiwoo’s mother cuts herself off, the inquisitiveness in her voice all too telling.

Sooyoung grimaces, playing with a loose thread on her cuff, and gestures at the sofa. “Maybe you want to sit down?”

“Yeah.” Jiwoo’s mother smiles gently, taking a seat beside Sooyoung. “So, what’s up?”

“Well,” Sooyoung swallows heavily, her heart threatening to leap out of her chest. “I just wanted to ask you…” She trails off, cringing, as Jiwoo’s mother observes her patiently.

“Take your time,” Jiwoo’s mother reassures Sooyoung, squeezing her shoulder. “It’s okay.”

Sooyoung offers her a grateful smile, inhaling deeply in in an effort to calm her racing heart and shaking hands.

“Well, uh,” Sooyoung pauses, attempting to collect her thoughts. “As I was saying…”

“Yes?”

“I love Jiwoo,” Sooyoung blurts out, immediately grimacing at her bluntness. “I mean…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jiwoo’s mother laughs. “It’s good to know that my daughter’s long-term girlfriend loves her.”

“That’s not what I meant to say,” Sooyoung furiously attempts to force her flush down, miserably failing. “I just… I really love her - I mean, of course, and we’ve lived together so long, and I just want to- I just- really-” Unsolicited tears of frustration form in Sooyoung’s eyes, and she furiously wipes them away with the back of her hand.

“I want to marry her,” she finally says, sniffling. “I just… I wanted to ask you for your blessing.”

Jiwoo’s mother reaches out, her own eyes shining with tears, as she takes Sooyoung’s hands in her own.

“This is all I’ve ever wanted for Jiwoo,” Jiwoo’s mother smiles wistfully. “Someone who loves her unconditionally, and whom she loves with the same vigor. Someone who’s willing to settle with her.”

Sooyoung can only nod, overcome with emotion.

“That someone is you, Sooyoung,” Jiwoo’s mother says. “I fully give you my blessing - and I just know that Jiwoo’s father would have done the same.”

Sooyoung breaks down entirely, her heart swelling with a multitude of emotions - gratitude, overwhelming relief, a tinge of melancholy at the memory of Jiwoo’s father - but most of all,  _ happiness. _ Happiness fills Sooyoung, pure and unadulterated, seeping into her very soul. This is far more than she could have asked for, and she’s so incredibly happy to have done this.

“I’ll treat her like a princess,” Sooyoung babbles. “Anything - everything - she’ll have it all.”

“I know you will,” Jiwoo’s mother squeezes Sooyoung’s hands. “I’ve been watching you two from the very beginning, and you’re perfect for someone like Jiwoo. I’m going to be honest - she took me entirely by surprise when she first brought you over. I could hardly believe that she’d actually snagged herself a girlfriend.”

“She didn’t,” Sooyoung chuckles quietly. “It was fake - we were fake dating, that is.”

Jiwoo’s mom laughs. “Oh, I know - the surprising part was that you actually ended up together. Looking back, though, it definitely makes some sense - it was evident that she loved you, and that you loved her.”

“What?” Sooyoung flushes, her mouth hanging agape. “How’d you know?”

“Oh, sweetheart, you and Jiwoo really aren’t all that good at acting,” Jiwoo’s mom laughs, winking conspiratorially. “Plus, mother’s intuition never fails.”

Sooyoung laughs, sheepishly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess so, huh?”

“What I want to know is how you ended up together, though,” Jiwoo’s mother questions. “Evidently, you hadn’t been together during Chuseok, but there’s no way you’re still pretending now, so what happened?”

“Oh, um.” Sooyoung’s face flushes bright red. “We kinda had a falling-out after Chuseok? But we made up a couple weeks later, and decided to try things out for real, to take things slowly and figure out who we were.”

“And here you are, five years later,” Jiwoo’s mother offers her a warm smile. “About to get married.”

Sooyoung lets out a nervous giggle. “I know, right? It’s crazy, but I’ve enjoyed every moment of it.”

“I’m so glad,” Jiwoo’s mother returns easily. “You really do complement Jiwoo perfectly.”

“Thank you.” Sooyoung preens under her future mother-in-law’s praise. “She makes me so happy.”

“As she should,” Jiwoo’s mother laughs, leaning in conspiratorially. “So, when are you planning on doing it?”

Before Sooyoung can answer, the door flings open, Jiwoo’s energetic voice floating through the hall. Jiwoo’s mother jumps up, scurrying over to the sink, as Sooyoung’s body stiffens in panic.

“Oh, hey,” Jiwoo catches sight of Sooyoung sitting awkwardly on the couch. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, she was just helping me do the dishes after lunch,” Jiwoo’s mother laughs.

Jiwoo glances over at Sooyoung. “You’re doing a great job of helping.”

“Hey,” Sooyoung protests, feigning hurt. “I  _ was _ helping! I’m just taking a break right now.”

“Whatever you say,” Jiwoo giggles, extending a hand to Sooyoung. “We should help out, though. For real.”

“Okay, fine.” Sooyoung rolls her eyes, but accepts Jiwoo’s hand, standing up and walking over to the sink. Jiwoo’s mother moves over to make space for the couple, and Jiwoo and Sooyoung squeeze together in order to effectively help Jiwoo’s mother wash the dishes.

“So,” Sooyoung begins. “Where were you?”

Jiwoo laughs, a blush tickling at her cheeks. “Sorry about that, I was at Ryujin’s. We were catching up - she was telling me about this girl she’s dating, actually - and I guess we got a little carried away.”

Affection squeezes Sooyoung’s heart as she gazes at her girlfriend. “I’m so happy for Ryujin, it looks like she’s finally gotten the happy ending she deserves.”

Jiwoo hums in response, and Jiwoo’s mother takes the opportunity to ask, “So when is Hyejoo’s wedding, again?”

“Mom, I  _ told _ you,” Jiwoo groans good-naturedly. “She and Chaewon are already married - they’re just throwing a party to celebrate with the rest of us.”

“Okay, so when’s that?”

“In a couple weeks,” Sooyoung cuts in, exchanging a glance with Jiwoo. “We’re super excited for it, we have just the perfect gift in mind.”

“Hmm, is that so?” Jiwoo’s mother waggles her eyebrows. “Well, I’m glad that you two are prepared. And please, pass along my congratulations to Hyejoo and Chaewon.”

“Will do,” Sooyoung affirms, and the conversation lapses into small talk, with Jiwoo chatting up a storm while Sooyoung helps with the dishes. It’s the perfect setting - so domestic, so  _ lovely _ \- that Sooyoung is almost taken aback by how happy she feels.

And when Jiwoo’s mother exchanges knowing glances with her every once in a while, that charged thrill of expectancy fires up in Sooyoung. Allowing herself to finally smile, Sooyoung is swept up in the excitement of the scene, in the portrait of elation that is the setting.

The rest of the weekend lapses without much excitement - it’s great, spending this kind of time with Jiwoo and her family feeling this weightless. Lost between great food and great times, Sooyoung finally allows herself to let go of the worries constantly plaguing her.

It doesn’t occur to her until she and Jiwoo are on the drive home that she never told Jiwoo’s mother exactly when she’s going to propose.

-

It almost turns out to be for the better, in Sooyoung’s opinion - schedules become increasingly hectic, and Sooyoung hardly even has time to breathe, let alone painstakingly plan a proposal, in the next few weeks. Her only true break from all of the work rushing at her occurs only during Hyejoo and Chaewon’s wedding party.

It’s a strange setting, Sooyoung thinks to herself. Almost reminiscent of a school dance - without the awkward middle-school couples, of course - the club that Hyejoo and Chaewon have rented out is awash in shades of blue and pink, loud, bass-boosted EDM shaking the very foundation of the building. People mill around with half-filled glasses of champagne - she can actually see Sakura and Nako giggling over something with Eunbi - with some partaking in the dance competition going on in the middle of the club, and others just swaying drunkenly to the beat of the music.

Jiwoo, Sooyoung observes, is definitely part of the latter. Her girlfriend is champagne-drunk, her limbs properly loosened and her lips curled into a lazy smile. She waves her hands to the EDM, cheering on the dancers - namely, Jungeun and Hyunjin - battling it out on the dance floor. Jiwoo, who is evidently Team Jungeun, claps loudly after Jungeun finishes with a flourish - however, Heejin, a strong advocate for Hyunjin, drunkenly attempts to grab her hands from her other side. Sooyoung stifles a laugh as Jiwoo tries tugging her hands away from the other girl’s, claiming that hand-holding privileges are only allocated to Sooyoung.

Sooyoung takes a sip of her champagne, her chest filling with a sort of lightness that she hasn’t felt in weeks. Sooyoung almost doesn’t want the night to end.

And when Hyejoo crashes the dance competition with a bottle of vodka in one hand and Chaewon in the other, swaying haphazardly - or slow dancing, Sooyoung thinks - to the EDM, that lightness in Sooyoung elevates itself to a sort of longing. This, Sooyoung realizes, is  _ exactly  _ what she wants - what she  _ needs. _

She smiles to herself, the realization settling gently upon her, and knows  _ exactly _ what the perfect proposal is.

All she needs now is for everything to go according to plan.

-

Sooyoung gives herself exactly three weeks’ time to get everything together without arousing Jiwoo’s suspicion, and so far, everything has been going perfectly. Despite her increasingly busy schedule, Sooyoung has everything neatly set up, each of the smaller elements coming together to finally make her big proposal a reality.

It’s on a Friday evening that Sooyoung first executes her plan: both she and Jiwoo are off work, snuggling with Kkum as they watch a movie.

“I feel like it’s been so long since we’ve really done anything together,” Sooyoung comments offhandedly as she cards her fingers through Kkum’s fur. Jiwoo turns to look at her in surprise.

“What do you mean?” she asks, mildly confused. Sooyoung bites the inside of her cheek. Maybe that wasn’t as subtle as she thought it was.

“I just mean that, uh,” Sooyoung clears her throat. “We haven’t gone on any real dates recently? I don’t know.”

Jiwoo giggles, relaxing into Sooyoung. “We don’t have to go on dates to validate our relationship,” she says. “We love each other, it doesn’t matter how we show it.”

Sooyoung’s face falls. “Oh.”

“But I wouldn’t mind going on a proper date,” Jiwoo continues on, painfully unaware of Sooyoung’s plight. “Did you have something specific in mind?”

Sooyoung smiles. This is her chance.

“I actually wanted to surprise you,” Sooyoung laughs sheepishly. “But I guess the cat’s kind of out of the bag now.”

Jiwoo shakes her head. “No, it’s okay, you can still surprise me,” she says. “I really don’t know what you had planned.”

“Tomorrow, then?” Sooyoung teases. “All you need are a jacket and a good pair of shoes.”

“I would love that,” Jiwoo agrees, squeezing Sooyoung’s hand. “It sounds great already.”

Sooyoung’s lips part. “But you don’t even  _ know-” _

“I sort of have an idea of what it could be,” Jiwoo admits, a light flush rising to her cheeks.

“Okay, what are you thinking?” Sooyoung challenges, raising an eyebrow at her girlfriend - soon to be wife.

“Well, I guess it could be anything, since it’s still relatively cold outside,” Jiwoo hums. “But the shoes… maybe it’s the zoo?”

Sooyoung shakes her head. “A logical guess, but no.”

“The planetarium?”

Sooyoung suppresses a smile, shaking her head once again.

“Hey,” Jiwoo bats at her. “At least give me a hint.”

“It’s something you love,” Sooyoung returns easily, and Jiwoo makes a noise of protest.

“That could be anything, though!”

Sooyoung simply winks. “I guess you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out, then.”

_ “Hey,” _ Jiwoo whines, but to no avail. Sooyoung remains infuriatingly impassive to Jiwoo’s guesses throughout the night, Jiwoo getting increasingly curious about the date before Sooyoung finally giggles and kisses her, telling her that she can’t reveal any more information without ruining the surprise. Jiwoo pouts, making shameless puppy eyes at Sooyoung, but remains surprisingly silent for the rest of the evening, save for the occasional guess.

And as Sooyoung falls asleep in Jiwoo’s arms that night, she’s filled with a sense of genuine contentment, because for the first time in her life, something is  _ finally  _ going right.

-

Sooyoung is compelled to feel concerned when her date starts off incredibly well - almost  _ too _ well, if she’s being honest. She and Jiwoo wake up early, getting ready with just the perfect amount of time left to spare so as to fit in a homemade breakfast and a cuddle session with Kkum.

They arrive at the ice skating rink exactly at the time that Sooyoung had planned for, and Jiwoo’s reaction is perfect - she squeals, pulling Sooyoung in for a kiss as she expresses her delight at the date location. 

And their time skating is bliss - Sooyoung, now a much better skater, thanks to the overwhelming amount of practice she’s had, is able to effectively keep pace with Jiwoo as they glide around the rink, occasionally pushing at each other as they laugh.

Everything’s just  _ perfect _ until they walk into the cafe, rosy-cheeked and indescribably happy, and find a seat at a table tucked neatly in one of the corners. It’s private, but has a warm ambience, allowing Jiwoo and Sooyoung to fill the space with their laughter. Everything’s going just as planned - Chungha, the manager of the shop, personally takes their order, and hurries into the back of the shop to prepare Sooyoung’s specialty drink: a hot chocolate with her proposal written on top of the whipped cream.

Sooyoung’s nervous, replaying her speech over and over again in her head as she awaits Chungha’s return, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Jiwoo.

“Hey,” she says softly. “What’s up? You seem a little on edge.”

“I don’t know,” Sooyoung smiles. “Today has just been so  _ great, _ I think I forgot how I much missed this.”

“Me too,” Jiwoo agrees, squeezing Sooyoung’s hands. “Me too.”

The couple lapse into small talk as they wait, surreptitiously playing footsies under the table as they converse. It's just right, everything Sooyoung could have ever wanted in this moment.

Chungha finally arrives with the steaming mugs of hot chocolate, a wide smile on her face as she glances at Sooyoung.

"Here you are," she winks, placing a mug in first of each girl. "Enjoy!"

"Thank you!" Jiwoo exclaims brightly, looking at her chocolate in awe. Any moment now, Sooyoung thinks, her heart leaping in excitement, as her nimble fingers close around the metal band in her pocket. Any moment now, Jiwoo will realize what the writing on the whipped cream says, and it'll finally be their moment.

Except that moment never comes. Jiwoo dives straight in for the whipped cream, lapping it up before she starts sipping at her hot chocolate, and Sooyoung doesn't quite register it at first.

"Didn't you see what was on the whipped cream?" she asks, her heart in her throat. 

Jiwoo's eyes round in surprise. "Oh, was there something on it?"

Sooyoung's heart drops to her stomach. This is  _ not _ happening.

"Oh, there was some chocolate syrup," she falters, not knowing how to approach it without giving it away.

"Yeah, it tasted great!" Jiwoo replies enthusiastically. "That's a new addition, isn't it? We really must tell Chungha how lovely it is."

Sooyoung's heart breaks more and more with every word that Jiwoo utters, but she forces a smile.

"Yeah," Sooyoung manages. "It's great."

Jiwoo simply beams at Sooyoung, and she can hardly find it within herself to be upset with Jiwoo. It's hardly  _ Jiwoo's _ fault for diving straight into the hot chocolate without pausing to read the words painstakingly detailed on top. Iit was a stupid plan anyway.

But Sooyoung also can't help but feel a twinge of regret in all of her planning, especially with that concerned look Chungha is giving her. Sooyoung almost wants to laugh - Chungha is probably expecting tears, or at least squealing of some kind. But here Jiwoo is, chattering away as she always does, and Sooyoung is properly upset with herself.

However, she refuses to let it ruin their date. Sooyoung reminds herself that the day she and Jiwoo have shared thus far has been absolutely  _ magical  _ \- it doesn't matter if Sooyoung hasn't gotten to propose the way she necessarily wanted to; she's sure Jiwoo would positively  _ melt _ even if she proposed in their bathroom.

(Not that she's planning to do that or anything - it's just a thought.)

"So, what do you think?" Jiwoo asks, interrupting Sooyoung's train of thought.

Sooyoung blinks. "Sorry, what?"

"I was asking if you wanted to go to Lotte World?" Jiwoo suddenly grows self-conscious, smiling ruefully behind reddened cheeks. "I feel like it would be perfect."

"Wait, now?" Sooyoung asks, a seed of hope blossoming in her chest. "Is it open?"

"Let me check," Jiwoo says excitedly, pulling her phone out. "So you're on board?"

"Of course I'm on board!" Sooyoung exclaims. "It would be the perfect ending to our day."

Jiwoo hums in agreement, her tone jumping in pitch when she finds the timings. "They're still open for another hour," Jiwoo squeals. "If we hurry, we can make it on time!"

"Then what are we waiting for?" Sooyoung questions. "Let's go!"

Sooyoung quickly pays for the drinks, telling a very confused Chungha that she'll explain everything later before rushing to the nearest bus stop with Jiwoo right behind her. They safely seat themselves on the bus, Jiwoo tucking her hands into Sooyoung's pockets to keep warm, as their idle chatter fills the bus with a sort of intangible warmth that fills Sooyoung with joy. They do, however, have to keep a keen eye on the clock - Lotte World's closing time draws inevitably closer as the bus plods along, and although she laughs along with Jiwoo, a pit of dread forms in Sooyoung's stomach.

They  _ have _ to make it in time - there's no other way Sooyoung can salvage her proposal.

"Hey, we're almost here!" Jiwoo gasps excitedly, pulling Sooyoung's sleeve. "Look, it's right there!"

And there it is: emblazoned on the front in all their clunky red glory are the words  _ Lotte World, _ and Sooyoung has never been more relieved in her life. She and Jiwoo quickly get off the bus, running for the front gates.

"Oh no, we only have a minute!" Jiwoo gasps, and Sooyoung pulls her along as she speeds up.

They finally make it to the front out of breath and ridiculously relieved, but the guy running the ticket both seems to take no notice of them.

"Hello?" Sooyoung waves frantically at him. "We want to buy some tickets?"

The guy finally looks up in surprise, frowning as he glances at the time. "I'm sorry, the park is closed," he says. "Would you like to come another time?"

"No, it has to be today," Sooyoung pleads. "Please, will you let us in? I promise we won't be long."

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Please?" Sooyoung's eyes brim with tears. She's  _ so close, _ it can't be taken away from her now.

"Hey, it's okay." Jiwoo tugs at her sleeve. "Let's come back another time."

"No," Sooyoung shakes Jiwoo's hand off, squinting at the guy's name tag as she approaches him. "Hey, Chan, can I talk to you privately for a second?"

Chan eyes her dubiously. "I guess, but-"

"Perfect," Sooyoung says as he steps out of the booth. She pulls him into a corner, desperately trying not to crack then and there.

"Hey," she hears herself saying. "So I'm Sooyoung, and that's my girlfriend Jiwoo over there."

"Good to know," Chan responds hesitantly, a little confused as to where this is going.

"I love her," Sooyoung continues. "A  _ lot. _ I want to marry her."

A hint of a smile teases at Chan's lips, but he doesn't relent. Not yet, at least.

Sooyoung presses forward. "I've been trying to propose to her for the last several years, but I haven't been successful yet. This is my last shot."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Chan sighs. "But I still can't-"

_ "Please," _ Sooyoung implores. "We only need to go on the ferris wheel! You can even supervise us if you want - the whole ordeal won't take any longer than twenty minutes, and we'll leave immediately afterwards. We promise."

Chan runs a hand through his hair. "Well, I-"

"Thank you so much!" Sooyoung professes. "We promise we'll be as quick as we can!"

Chan smiles, albeit somewhat uneasily. "Follow me, I guess?"

Sooyoung grins. "Jiwoo, come on! We get to ride the ferris wheel!"

Jiwoo's eyes light up. "Wait, really?" she asks in disbelief, and Sooyoung nods, grinning widely. Jiwoo runs forward, capturing Sooyoung in her embrace.

"You are the actual best," Jiwoo murmurs in Sooyoung's ear. "How'd you do it?"

Sooyoung pulls away, winking at her girlfriend. "Trade secret," she giggles, and Jiwoo bats at her.

"Hey, are you guys coming or not?" comes Chan's voice, laced with slightly irritation - and evident endearment, judging by the expression on his face.

"Coming!" Sooyoung shouts back, pulling Jiwoo along with her as they both resist the urge to collapse in a fit of giggles.

The dutifully trail after Chan as he maneuvers them through the park, safely shepherding the couple past the security guards giving them odd glances. Sooyoung has never been more alive, the thrill of the proposal catching up to her, and she revels in the fact that every step she takes brings her closer to her big moment.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo finally arrived at the ferris wheel as the last rays of the sun are fading into the horizon, painting the sky with gorgeous hues of peach and salmon, bleeding into the deeper blues and indigos of the night sky.

"Hurry," Chan encourages. "If you get in there quickly enough, you'll be able to see the last of the sunset from the top of the ferris wheel."

"Come on, let's go!" Jiwoo exclaims, pulling Sooyoung into the pod before shutting the door behind them. Sooyoung flashes Chan one final grateful smile before scooting closer to Jiwoo, casually slinging an arm over her shoulder as they begin to ascend.

The ride is entirely silent; the girls are far too invested in the breathtaking view splayed out before them: for Jiwoo, it's the city sprawled around them, awash in the glow of the sunset, and for Sooyoung, it's Jiwoo. It's always been Jiwoo, and it always will be Jiwoo.

_ It's time. _

"Jiwoo," Sooyoung says quietly, finally breaking the silence that's formed between them. Jiwoo glances over at her girlfriend, a small smile on her face.

"Yes?"

Sooyoung reciprocates Jiwoo's smile, gently taking the girl's hands in her own.

"So," she starts off, letting out a nervous laugh. "I kinda just wanted to say that I love you."

"I love you, too," comes Jiwoo's immediate response.

"And," Sooyoung continues, her heart pounding in her chest, "I just want to say that I've loved every second of the time we've spent together. From the moment we met until now, I don't think there's a single thing I've regretted doing - you make me so inexplicably happy, and I just feel so incredibly lucky to have someone like you in my life."

Sooyoung pauses, attempting to gauge Jiwoo's reaction, but the girl’s face is entirely impassive.

"And especially since we adopted Kkum, everything's just been so lovely, and I've just been so  _ happy _ ," Sooyoung continues on, swallowing her uneasiness. "You're just such a beautiful individual in every aspect of the matter, so much so that it almost hurts sometimes. I just… I really want to give you the kind of love that you deserve - the kind of love that you keep trying to give everyone else. I want to be able to do that for you."

A stray tear slides down Jiwoo's cheek. "Oh, Sooyoung…"

"Which is why I have to-"

"Please," Jiwoo sniffles. "Please don't do this to me."

"Wh-What?" Sooyoung stares at the girl beside her in utter shock.

"You can't do this," Jiwoo continues. "I love you too much, please."

"Wait, Jiwoo, what do you think I'm about to do?" Sooyoung scratches her head, genuinely baffled. Jiwoo glances over at her, tear-stricken and devastated.

"Y-You aren't breaking up with me?" she asks tearfully.

_ "What? _ No!" Sooyoung shakes her head emphatically. "That's, like, the opposite of- why would you think that?"

"I don't know," Jiwoo cries out, laughing in spite of the tears still freely flowing down her cheeks. "I'm so- I'm so glad that you aren't leaving me."

Sooyoung scoots closer to Jiwoo, pulling her close. "I would  _ never  _ leave you," she says fiercely. Pulling back, she adds on, "What I was saying was pretty much the opposite of that."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Sooyoung giggles breathlessly. "You have nothing to worry about on that front. But yeah, as I was saying…"

"Yes?"

"Kim Jiwoo," Sooyoung begins, an impossibly wide smile scratching across her face. "I know this isn't the optimal time or place, but I honestly can't imagine the rest of my life without you. I can't do this the traditional way right now, but…" Sooyoung trails off, producing the ring from the folds of her clothing.

"Will you marry me?"

Jiwoo's eyes once again fill tears - this time, of the happy kind - as she claps a hand over her mouth, rendered utterly speechless. She nods fervently, allowing Sooyoung to slide the silver band around her finger, as Sooyoung envelops her in a tight embrace.

"I love you," Sooyoung enunciates, pouring every ounce of affection she has for her now-fiancée into the words.

"I love you, too," Jiwoo's sobs. "So much it hurts."

Sooyoung pulls back slightly, giving herself a moment to just take in Jiwoo's gorgeousness. Thumbing her cheek, Sooyoung slowly lowers her lips to Jiwoo's, finally closing the gap between them, and Sooyoung can now say from experience that nothing -  _ nothing  _ \- feels better than this. Nothing can ever compare to the level of sheer joy she is currently experiencing, nor will it  _ ever  _ compare to this.

Sooyoung can’t even put the emotions swirling up inside of her into words. This had been something she's desired for so long, something she's  _ repressed  _ for so long, that now that it's come to fruition, Sooyoung can hardly control the frenzy of emotions overwhelming her.

It's so indescribably heartwarming, so  _ perfect -  _ it's all Sooyoung could have ever asked for.

And she couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i write this as 1) entirely self-indulgent fluff to revel in during valentine's day, and 2) as redemption for all the things i did to poor ryujin last time?? yes, absolutely
> 
> anyways thanks for making it through this lol, if ur still alive after all of that fluff pls feel free to hmu in the comments or on my [tumblr](https://faexsolis.tumblr.com/)/[twitter](https://twitter.com/faexsolis)!!

**Author's Note:**

> ria, thank you so much for the time we've spent together <3 i rlly hope that u enjoyed this, and as always, ilysm <3
> 
> for the rest of y'all here for the chuuves, tysm for reading!! feel free to hmu in the comments or on my [tumblr](https://faexsolis.tumblr.com/)/[twitter](https://twitter.com/faexsolis) !!


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